24-7 Mommy

Friday Night

2012-02-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

My lovely husband allowed me to escape last Friday night. I had tickets to see the spectacular Kathleen Edwards at the 9:30 Club. I was really looking forward to it, that is, until the babe came down with a fever at school and I had to pick her up, about 8.5 hours before I was to be heading out the door for my big night out.

Luckily my husband reassured me he would be fine and the babe would be fine, too. "Go and have fun," he said (or something like that). So I did. There was a little bit of guilt, but a lot of excitement. You may not recall, but I am a big Kathleen Edwards fan and if I were a rock star, I'd like to be sorta like her (she is from my hometown, Ottawa, after all).

So, the concert was great. Hanging out with my old friend was great. But getting home at 1:00 am to a sick little girl was not great. My husband had just changed the sheets on her bed as she had thrown up.

Now, what you probably don't know is that Kathleen Edwards released a new album a few weeks ago, Voyageur. One of the songs on this album is called "Change the Sheets" and I have been listening to it while driving around town with the kids. They dig it (excellent taste, those kids of mine).

Now this may not be completely on the up and up, but I had agreed to tape a little bit of "Change the Sheets" on my phone to show the babe (I was trying to make her feel better). How appropriate is it then that when I got home, just after my husband had changed the babe's sheets, she sweetly asked me if I could play "Change the Sheets" on my phone for her. That 5 year old sure is a dedicated fan! And was I ever glad I had figured out how to tape with my phone in a dark night club.

Saturday was a rough day for all of us. But I sure was glad I'd been able to rock out with K.E.

The babe is back in good health and all is well.

The Kids Were Gone

2012-02-07T11:19:00.000-05:00

You know the kind of dreams you feel trapped in? I believe they're called nightmares. And I had one last night.

It was a dream which forced me to wake up my husband for comfort, check on my kids and shed a few tears. It was a dream that caused me to remember that bad things can happen really fast. One moment your life is "normal," and the next, your life becomes a nightmare.

My neighborhood, and the general NW section of DC has been experiencing what they call a "crime wave." People are being mugged at gunpoint on the streets while walking home from the metro. Homes are being broken into. And there have even been a few cases of people being attacked and robbed after getting out of their cars in front of their homes.

It has changed the way my husband and I operate on a daily basis. He no longer wears his ear phones while walking home at night. He has stopped wearing his father's watch for fear that it could be stolen at gunpoint. I am locking our car doors as soon as we are all buckled in. I am catching taxis home when I used to catch the metro and walk. What really irks me is that I have given up my after dinner head refreshing evening walks around the neighborhood. We have been told this is just a phase and once these guys are caught we will be able to return to "normal." Although it will be a new "normal," as we have now seen what can happen very close to home.

While I wouldn't say we are living in fear, we certainly have become more aware and cautious.

That brings me to my nightmare. My kids and I were headed out on a park date in our car with another Mom and her daughter. The kids were buckled into their car seats along with the other Mom. I was about to go back up our front path to lock up the house when I noticed a few slightly dodgy guys walking down the street. I figured it was broad day light and that I shouldn't be overly concerned. I did lock the car doors, just to be safe. I went in to lock up the house and set the alarm, which involves momentarily shutting the front door. I set the alarm, walked outside, and the car was gone. My kids were gone. The Mom and her daughter were gone. And the 2 dodgy guys were gone.

The rest of my nightmare involved panic, calls to 911, and the dark realization that my kids were missing.

Somehow I managed to escape the dream. But I can't explain how real it was when I was stuck in it.

I don't know why this dream was enough to motivate me to actually update my neglected blog, but I guess I wanted to share it as a reminder that stuff can happen quickly. Anyone who has lost their child in a grocery store, watched their child run out into a street or parking lot, or watched their baby fall off a bed or couch will tell you that. Bad s#%$ can happen fast.

As you may have guessed, I will now be more cautious when my kids are playing in the front of the house. While I am usually on top of them, there are times I have run into the house quickly to grab something. And while I am not going to live in fear, I am going to step up our families security so I don't have to face any real life nightmares.

Keep Calm and Carry On

2012-01-20T14:44:00.000-05:00

I was so happy to get back from the holidays. There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed after being on the road with kids for a few weeks. And there's nothing like returning to your routine. I would be lost without our routine and I rely on it heavily. Last Monday I realized that even a "long weekend" is enough to throw me off. Sadly, I am the kind of Mama who is burnt out after spending a few days straight with my kids...without our routine.

I won't get into details, but the highlight of last Monday morning was driving around downtown Washington trying to find a parking spot so we could go to the Natural History Museum. I had forgotten that everyone else would be doing the exact same thing as the museum is located on the National Mall and Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. After 45 minutes of circling the museum to the North, South, East and West, and having every spot I had identified stolen by a more aggressive driver, I lost it. I hit my steering wheel, started crying and mumbling crazily that I was NEVER going to find a spot and that I was just going to have to GIVE UP. My daughter was already crying as we were supposed to be meeting her friend inside the museum and my son started wailing because he wanted to see the dinosaurs.

I like to consider myself a good driver with relatively crafty downtown navigation abilities, but I simply could not find my parking mojo on Monday. It killed me to do it, but I actually had to give up and create an alternative plan to try and make it up to my kids. We headed to Georgetown to watch the ducks on the river and grab a snack by the C&O Canal. I recovered the morning, kind of, but felt so terrible about my inability to keep my cool in front of my kids. What kind of example was I setting as I blubbered my self deprecating nonsense, occasionally yelling at parking spot stealers while pounding my steering wheel in frustration?

I don't want to be that kind of Mom. I want them to learn how to keep their cool. I want them to learn how to not take the wrong things too seriously. I want them to learn how to find humour in the every day struggle (although we did manage to laugh about it on the drive home as I fed them cookies and played their favorite annoying Little People CD).

All this is to say that I am tired of not being able to stay as calm as I would like when I am presented with life's constant little challenges. I don't want to yell and freak out when things don't go my way or when my kids do the things that kids do. I don't want them to be afraid of me and the possible reaction I may have.

That's a lot of things that I want and that I don't want. But other than tattooing "Keep Calm and Carry On" in some highly visible location, how can I deal with this unsavory part of my self?

I went to a lecture at the little guy's school last night on "How to Raise a Responsible Child" and I was reminded how important my role is in developing my kids' character. They learn from what they see and I need to teach them by setting a good example. This is SO OBVIOUS yet so hard to remember on a minute by minute basis.

When I lose my cool, they must think that it is OK to lose your cool. When I am checking emails and not listening to them, and then get annoyed and snap when they keep "bugging" me, they are learning that it is OK to ignore people while you fiddle with a technological gadget. And when I yell at them in the grocery store (or any public place, really) because their behavior is less than exemplary, I am embarrassing both myself and them because I should be able to think of more creative ways to handle situations that I have been consistently confronted with for the past 5 years. If I can not be a responsible parent, how can I expect them to be responsible kids?

Yikes!!!!! They are going to need years of therapy because of me!!

So I am taking a small step. I got home from last night's lecture and signed up for Managing Anger: A Parents Guide which is being offered at the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP), the same folks who held the preschooler classes I took last winter. It is only 3 sessions, but I am hoping the 6 hours of instruction, thought and discussion will help me learn how to better deal with my parental frustrations.

Because as much as I'd like to make it to yoga and work on my deep breathing techniques, I think I am in need of a supportive classroom environment where I can remember that I am not alone in this. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done and I want to make sure that I am doing it to the best of my abilities. What is that wise old saying, again? Nothing good comes easily? Well I am going to work on this and while I would not call it a New Year's resolution, I am hoping I can become a better Mama so my kids will end up better people.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

I meant to say that a few weeks ago; Happy New Year!

I have been thinking of you every day, and when I noticed that there are actually folks who check on this site daily, I felt a huge pang of guilt.

I rapidly progressed from being over run with guilt to feeling plain old overwhelmed. How am I going to update you on the past month and a half of chaos?

So I have decided I am just going to do a brief recap of all the things which would have been worthy of their own posts. That is the only way I can free myself and start blogging 2012 style.

My first born child, the one who made me a Mama, turned 5 years old on December 7th. We hosted a lovely pottery painting party for her. I think it all turned out pretty well, considering the insane amount of time I spent obsessing over how to handle the politics of a 5 year old girls birthday party (in the end I decided small is sweet and big is just too much to handle, emotionally and financially!). She seemed pretty thrilled with the whole experience but was bummed to learn that she would have to wait 12 months to experience the joys of another birthday.

We were honored to attend Art Night with the babe at her school the day after her birthday. Parents and children get dressed in their finest, bring in a pot luck dinner contribution, and experience a gallery type soiree. The collection of Mattisse inspired art was stunning, but really, what was stunning was my daughter's amazing piece. As I can't truly explain it, I have decided to share it here with you.

The day after the babe's birthday party, I cut off my son's long hair. I sat him at the dining room table, brushed his locks one last time, and hacked of a huge chunk with my trusty little scissors. That beautiful head of hair had been 3 years in the making and I had decided I was done. I was done picking out food after every meal. I was done having to wash it so much because of the blobs of dirt and soy nut butter I would discover at bath time every night. I was done explaining that my son is actually a boy, not a girl (I do not exaggerate when I tell you that I did this every single day).

Don't get me wrong, I loved his hair. I thought he was absolutely stunning with his long hair flowing behind him when he ran. But frankly, his behavior has become a tad undesirable of late, and I was beginning to associate his long hair with his newly developing rep as a ruffian trouble making punk. So I chopped it off, put the hair in a Ziploc baggie, and packed my family off to the barber shop where my husband and son both had a hair cut. A new father-son barber shop tradition was born that day (December 11th) and my son has not been called a girl since.

But wait, there's more. That Ziploc baggie with my son's beautiful hair has been sent to India with my Mother in Law. The hair will be scattered into the river where my husband's hair was placed after he had his first hair cut (actually head shave) as part of the (Hindu) Mundan ceremony. I feel good the little guy's hair wasn't just swept up off the barber shop floor. And while I miss his hair, I love that my little boy went from baby to boy in one simple act. It's hard to explain, but something changed the day we cut his hair, and I don't regret our decision.

The kids and I then flew to Canada where we had a 2.5 week long adventure visiting family and friends in Ottawa and Montreal. During the visit my husband celebrated a birthday, and my son, the little guy, turned 3. He is a Christmas Eve baby and hasn't really had a true birthday party yet. Luckily he hasn't seemed to notice and was happy to get a chocolate cupcake with a candle so he could make a wish (although I am not so sure he understands the "wish"concept). We brought the kids to Christmas Mass with my folks and sister which ended in total disaster but managed to rescue the evening and have our Happy Birthday celebration and cupcake eating together as a family. I think we may have to step it up for the little guy next year, though.

We concluded our relaxed visit in Montreal with a smashing New Year's Eve party at my Mother in Law's place. We welcomed 2012 by packing up our car (my husband had driven up to Ottawa closer to Christmas) and hitting the road. Yes, we did the unthinkable. We drove from Montreal to Washington in just under 11 hours. We made 3 stops and powered through Quebec, New York, Pennsylvania and Maryland. And ya know what? The kids were awesome. I have no idea how we all pulled it off, but we did. Now that we know it is doable, my family may become an international road tripping kinda family. Because we certainly aren't going to be able to keep paying the ever increasing prices for plane tickets!

I think I may have overwhelmed you with all this in one post. But I had to get it out of my system. Tackling this update was hanging over my head and while it may not be pretty, at least I have made it official. I hope you had a great holiday season and I hope you have recovered from all the craziness. All the best to you and your loved ones for an awesome, healthy and happy 2012!

The Countdown Begins

2011-12-01T14:51:00.001-05:00

Yikes. It's December 1st. How did that happen?

I have officially been listening to the Holiday Music Chanel on TV and have begun the process of obsessing over the right gifts for all the people in my life. Granted, I probably started obsessing a few weeks ago. But now I am actually doing something about it.

Every year I manage to forget how very time consuming Christmas shopping and general Holiday organizing can be. It never used to be so intense, but there's something about being an official "grown up" that has added a lot of pressure. I am generally not a materialistic and consumer driven kinda gal, but there's just no way out of the mayhem at this time of year.

The kids and I take off for Canada in 18 days and there is a whole lot going on before then. The most exciting celebration will be next week for the babe. My daughter, who was so recently my itty bitty baby girl, will turn 5 years old on Wednesday. On Thursday, we will attend the annual "art night" at her school where we get to check out all the kids paintings and enjoy a pot luck dinner. Saturday will be her birthday party at the paint your own pottery studio (the first time we are hosting her birthday outside of our home!).

My husband will celebrate his birthday on the 23rd and my son, the little guy, will turn 3 on Christmas Eve.

All this, and my husband and I get to navigate the murky waters of explaining what the Holiday Season is really about and how different folks have different celebrations around this time of year. We need to answer questions about why we go to Church with Grandpa and Nana on Christmas Eve but no other time of year. We have to blend the explanation of baby Jesus with the Santa hoopla.

We also have to explain/elaborate on who Santa Claus is and how he manages to get presents to all the kids around the world in one night. It's important for me to ensure my kids enjoy the bliss of all the North Pole has to offer this time of year. But we also explain how our family supports the homeless shelter so the people with no food or homes can have a special meal over the Holidays. We explain how we collect canned food to give to those in need. We also explain why we buy gifts for children who may not get much for Christmas this year (which isn't easy after you've been talking about Santa Claus).

Really, it's a lot to explain to an almost 3 and an almost 5 year old. There is so much information for their little brains to absorb and it is easy to get messages intertwined. Obviously we want to share the awesome joy of the season with them, but we want to hammer home how lucky we are to have everything we do, and get across how critical it is that we help others who are not as fortunate as us.

So good luck with all the things you have to do this month. I hope you get a second to take a deep breath and soak in the goodness the season has to offer. Because "it's the most wonderful time of the year!"

What's In Your Bed?

2011-11-29T10:49:00.000-05:00

There's been a lot of talk lately about bed bugs on the East Coast of North America. It is a serious issue which is cause for concern, especially if you're a frequent traveller. Luckily, I am not a frequent traveller, nor is my husband (I say that with a heavy heart as part of me would love to be a frequent traveller). The concern around my house is not bed bugs, but child pee. Yes. Child pee.

When my husband and I were first engaged we decided to splurge on an awesome king size bed. It is truly delicious and we love it. Sadly, over the years, there have been many incidents where our little ones have spat up, peed, vomited, etc., etc. in our bed. Because that's the kind of stuff that happens when you have little kids.

I had hoped we were mostly past that phase as I feel truly sorry for our beautiful bed which has been shown no mercy. Yesterday I was reminded that we are most certainly not past that phase (silly me). Yet again, my son, who climbs into our bed around 6 am every morning, managed to soak through his overnight diaper and leave a nice big pee spot in the middle of our mattress where we generally rest our weary heads. He and his sister usually snuggle up and watch a 20 minute (educational) cartoon every morning while I throw myself together. Most mornings I will change his diaper before he sits up to watch TV. As you may have guessed, I did not do that yesterday. I had given him a quick bum pat and decided he'd be OK for the 10 minutes it would take to throw my jeans on and brush my hair and teeth. I came out of the bathroom to find him sitting clueless in a damp circle.

This is NOT what you want on a Monday morning after a 5 day (i.e. very, very long) weekend with your 4 person family. So I stripped the sheets and grabbed a wet and soapy towel and tried to remedy the situation. At this point I'm not sure what else I can do. Our beautiful mattress has been abused for so many years, but as long as we have anyone in diapers or toilet training around this house, I suppose pee in my precious bed is a possibility I'm going to have to live with. Not that I'm trying to make excuses. I admit that I'm going to have to be more dedicated to the early morning diaper change. I can't expect a sleep induced laissez-faire attitude to keep my mattress safe. While pee isn't in the same ball park as bed bugs (thank goodness!), my mattress just can't take it anymore.

Another Holiday Celebration & Another Anniversary

2011-11-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans! I am always thrilled to celebrate this Holiday right along with you. While Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October, it has always seemed like a way bigger deal here. I enjoy all the festivities (especially our traditional smashing dinner hosted by our generous and wonderful friends I and D--thank you in advance!), but I also like taking some time to dwell on all my blessings. I have so much to be grateful for and I'd like like to say thank you to the universe for everything I have. Right now I am especially grateful to my husband for taking my energetic kids to the park and for the sun which has decided to shine after days and days of rain and gloom.

Secondly, I would like to tell you about a special Anniversary I am celebrating. Last night, as my husband and I caught up on all the shows we had DVRd (is that a word?) throughout the week, I realized that it had been five years since I left my job. The babe was due around Thanksgiving, so I had decided to work until the day before Thanksgiving and then go on official leave. Five years ago yesterday I organized my office, said my good byes, and went home with the hopes of having a baby in a few days. Little did I know that my baby wouldn't make her debut until December 7th. Little did I know it was to be my last day in an office for a very long time. And little did I know that my home would become my new "office." There's a lot I didn't know five years ago that I know now!

At this half decade point, I am finally relatively comfortable with the notion of being a "stay-at-home" Mama. I take pride in all I do to keep my four person family functioning. And while I don't know what the future holds, I know that I have made it through what have been some of the most challenging and beautiful years of my life. And today, I am giving thanks.

The Snots

2011-11-21T14:49:00.001-05:00

The little guy has a cold. He is snotty, coughing, and generally kinda gross. I feel bad for my little love bug. But I also feel bad for my husband and I. On Saturday morning my husband caught the little guy wiping his snot all over the pillow case--my husband's pillow case, that it. We wash our sheets on Saturdays (it's just what we do), so everything was going to be tossed into the hot cycle and the snot didn't seem like that big of a deal.

Last night the kiddos were watching a little Dinosaur Train after dinner and my husband and I were taking 20 minutes to actually try and read something. I happened to look up after my son let out a big sneeze and catch him wiping his snot onto the cozy couch blanket. Perhaps that needs to go into the hot cycle as well, I thought to myself with a smile.

But the jewel of the snot story is this: After a nice hot shower (and a nice long day), I climbed into our bed with its lovely clean sheets. I looked at the space between where my husband and I generally lay our heads and saw a priceless collection of little hard snot balls. I would like to clarify that they weren't my snot balls and they weren't my husband's snot balls.

I have to admit that I love cuddling with the little guy when he climbs into our bed at 6:15 am every day. I am annoyed that I am losing valuable sleep, but I cling to him because he is so warm and cozy and I know it will not always be this way. One day my little boy will not be interested in cuddling with his Mama or watching cartoons under a cozy blanket next to his sister. I suppose if snot in my bed and snot on our blankets is the price I have to pay, then so be it. Snot eventually goes away, especially in the washing machine.

A Belated Thank You

2011-11-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

I never told you the story about the woman I sat next to on the train from DC to NYC last month. She was in her 50s, I'm guessing, and was on her way home for a one night get away. She was extremely excited as she was going to see her boyfriend and go out on the town.

So why was she going home for only one night, you ask?  This woman, a mother of three, has been living at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center for the past three months as her son recovers from injuries sustained while serving in Afghanistan. She has not left his side since the day he returned. She has helped him through the twelve surgeries he's had since coming back home. He is only 20 years old.

I meant to write this on Friday, Veterans Day, but didn't manage to get the computer turned on. I haven't stopped thinking about that Mother. While talking to her I couldn't help but picture what it would be like to watch your boy go off to war and then to return in that kind of pain. It brought tears to my eyes and I asked her to tell him thank you for everything he has done. I just don't think I'd be able to let the little guy go off to war.  Yet Mothers all around the world have to experience it every day.

I don't want to get political with this post. I just want to say thank you to all the men and women who sacrifice so much. I also want to acknowledge all the strong men, women and children who are left at home while their family members are off serving their country.  Thank you.

The Co-Op

2011-11-08T14:53:00.000-05:00

When you send your child to a co-op nursery school it is significantly cheaper, but you have to actually co-op. I was supposed to co-op for the first time in October but switched my "shift" with a pregnant Mama who was trying to free herself for her baby's arrival in January. As the little guy is only in school two mornings a week, I technically only co-op once every six weeks. Not bad, right?

My first shift was scheduled for November 17th and I have been silently preparing myself for the prospect of hanging out with twelve two-year-olds for weeks. I have to admit I've been quite nervous. I have never done this kind of thing before, and while in theory it sounds great (kinda), how was I really going to do in reality?

Last night I got a call from my shift switching Mama colleague asking for a favor. She was wondering if I could help her out by taking her co-op shift today. I decided to bite the bullet and say "yes." I pulled together some juice, crackers and veggies to bring in for snack time. I went to bed early so I wouldn't have a foggy head. I got up early so I could get a cup of coffee (instant) in me before our regular chaotic morning routine kicked into full gear. I dropped the babe off at the rope line (which was not a smooth transaction). I braved rush hour traffic. And I made it to my shift just in time by 9:14 am.

I now realize that these nursery school mornings go by fast whether you are at the school with the kids or racing around town trying to fit in as many errands as you can in two hours. I honestly didn't have a chance to worry because I was working/playing/swinging/singing/cleaning/crafting/hand washing/changing poopy diapering/wiping snotty noses/marching and having a grand 'oll time from the second I walked in the door until our time was up at noon.

While I would never want to be in there every day, or even every week (I don't know how preschool teachers do it), I did have a pretty good time. It was fun to talk to other kids and to watch the little guy in his element. By the time we made it home for lunch I was wiped out (as was he). I was starving (as was he). And I really had to pee (he still wears diapers, what can I say?).

I've caught up on some chores around the house, downed a cafe au lait from my fancy home coffee maker (that's another story), and am really just enjoying my few minutes of peace, quiet, and computer time. Today, I deserve it. It feels good to have my first shift under my belt. And it feels good to be an official "co-oper."

Mama Brain

2011-11-04T13:51:00.001-04:00

Once you get "Mama Brain," does it ever go away?

I have heard a variety of pretty impressive Mama Brain stories in the past few weeks and just have to share. I am not naming any names, except my own.

The week before last was the bake sale at the babe's school. I whipped up some nut-free chocolate muffin cupcake kinda things during the little guy's nap time. At 3:00 pm, we ran out the door to pick up the babe. About 5 minutes into our journey, I had a panic attack. Did I turn off the oven? What to do? Do I risk being late for pick up (for the first time ever) or do I swing around and go check? As we were headed to an after school play date I decided I had no choice but to turn around. It's a good thing I did, because the oven was on. And there was nothing in it. This was not good.

I recounted this story the next day to another Mama while purchasing tasty treats at the bake sale. She one upped me (and I was thrilled she shared this story with me so I could share it with you). This Mama, who will remain nameless, had gone for a manicure in her precious down time. When it came time to leave the salon, she couldn't find her keys. After retracing her steps and walking to the coffee shop she had visited just prior to the salon, she walked back to her car (which was parked on a major road) expecting to see the keys in the ignition. Yes, the keys were in the ignition. But hold on. It gets better. Not only were the keys in the ignition, the car was on and the doors were unlocked.

Last night an email message came in from one of the school list serves I am subscribed to. A Mama admitted to leaving her stroller in the parking lot of a grocery store and was wondering if anyone had an extra they could spare? At least she didn't forget the kids, she joked.

And another Mama I know just admitted she had left her Snap and Go in a folded down position by the side of the road for a few days before she realized what she'd done. It was still there when she went back to pick it up.

No one was hurt in any of these stories. And hopefully you feel better about yourself now. Because remember, "we're not perfect...no we're not."

Halloween 2011

2011-11-03T15:08:00.000-04:00

I really like Halloween. My kids do too. The few weeks leading up to it are filled with such beautiful anticipation. I love seeing it though my kids eyes and remembering the good 'oll days of my childhood.

We spent a good part of Tuesday dealing with the fact that "Halloween is over." The babe asked, "Mama, how many more days before we have Halloween again?" It hurt to tell her 364.

I have taken down the spider webs from the bushes out front. I have packed away the costumes. But I still have a lot of candy. Too much candy considering I have a daughter with food allergies and a son who is not used to eating food his sister can't eat.

The tough part about Halloween is sorting through my kids stash at the end of the night. I take away all the candy and chocolates my daughter can't have. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups being a prime example. She remains seriously allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and can't eat dairy products that haven't been baked at 425 for 25 minutes or more. I am too paranoid to give her things without labels and usually end up taking away most of her trick or treating collection. I am the bad guy. I would have hated myself now as a kid. Luckily she is good about it and doesn't lose her cool.

I try to replace the candy I take with approved candy I have bought in advance. So I guess that makes me the good guy. The kids still get to sit at the dining room table after they eat dinner and eat too much sugar. They still get to experience the sugar highs and lows of a normal post-Halloween childhood.

Although yesterday was a reminder that perhaps my kids aren't that used to getting loaded up on sugary candy treats. Our first incident was during nap time when the little guy barfed up chocolate I had given him after lunch (his sister was at school and I figured she wouldn't know the difference). The little guy sadly knew the difference. This barfing episode may be due to the fact he doesn't consume much dairy or that he doesn't consume much chocolate. Regardless, no more dairy chocolate for that kid.

The second incident was before bath time. Both kids had consumed a good chunk of candy after dinner so were a tad ramped up by bath time. I was on my own last night and was sorting out pajamas, etc. for after bath when I heard a horrific cry. The crying continued and before I knew it I had a sobbing little boy in my arms. My hyper daughter had managed to close the bathroom door on my hyper son's thumb. We had a solid 20 minutes of theatrics and I broke a sweat worrying that his little thumb could be broken. By 8:25 pm everyone was safely tucked in bed....clean and calm.

Oh, and by the way, the babe was a witch for our neighborhood party on Sunday and then an astronaut for Halloween on Monday. The little guy, my crustacean, was a lobster. They were both darn cute, if I do say so myself. Another successful Halloween under our belts with a few lessons learned to boot.

I Show Well

2011-11-02T14:46:00.000-04:00

I got a compliment last week. Although I'm not sure how accurate the compliment is, I appreciated receiving it.

I was dropping off the babe at school and trying to deal with the little guy having a bit of a melt down at the top of a rather dangerous staircase. I am not sure what I was doing which looked like "appropriate mother type behavior," but one of the Moms passing by commented on how patient I was. I looked at her and started laughing. I told her that I am not an exceptionally patient parent and if they sold patience at the store, I would spend my retirement savings on it. She laughed and told told me that "I show well."

I happen to know she is a real estate agent, and having recently purchased our first home, I am familiar with the term "showing well." What I don't understand is how I could ever "show well." I think that's because I am always stuck inside my head and dealing with a trail of crazed thoughts and occasional (OK, frequent) expletives. Drop off is just not an easy thing to do with the little guy in tow. This kid has gotten rather big and rather strong, and when he doesn't want to cooperate, well, he doesn't cooperate.

I am pretty jazzed that I managed to pull off the "patient Mama" look on that particular morning. Now I just have to aspire to pull it off every morning (Just joking. I'm not perfect!). Maybe "patient Mama" will help bring out "patient little guy." Or maybe not. Either way, I show well.

I'm Not Perfect

2011-11-02T14:06:00.002-04:00

You know when a song gets stuck in your head and you just can't get it out? Well apparently this happens to kids as well. The little guy has been wandering around the house, and everywhere else, singing, "I'm not perfect, no I'm not." If you didn't know what he was singing, you may think there's some messed up stuff going on at our house. But in reality, he's singing a great song by the Laurie Berkner Band and if the little guy were to sing the whole song, folks may think we have a pretty cool home with just the right attitude.

The song's message is just as important for the little ones as it is for us big ones. In fact, it's such a great song I think I'll share the lyrics with you:

I'm Not Perfect by Laurie Berkner

I'm not perfect, no I'm not
I'm not perfect, but I've got what I've got
I do my very best, I do my very best
I do my very best each day
But I'm not perfect
And I hope you like me that way

We're not perfect…

You're not perfect, not you're not
You're not perfect, but you've got what you've got
You do your very best, you do your very best
You do your very best each day
But you're not perfect

And you know

I love you that way

I've been thinking about Erma...

2011-11-01T15:33:00.000-04:00

I recently read a thoughtful piece by Erma Bombeck. One part in particular hit me like a slap in the face. A few hours before reading the collection below, I had told the babe to get back in her seat and finish her dinner. The thing is, she had gotten out of her seat to come over to give me a kiss. At the time, I was more concerned with getting dinner wrapped up so I could clean the kitchen before bringing the kids upstairs for a bath.

Reading the piece below was a reminder that living in the present and appreciating all the little things is so much more important than stressing out about the next few steps on our "to do" list. When someone comes over to give you a kiss, especially when that someone is your precious little girl, you should stop and savor it. These are the kisses I will hopefully remember when I'm sitting in my rocking chair one day. I don't think I'll remember if I managed to get the entire kitchen clean after dinner and before bath time, though.

“IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realising that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . . look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.”

― Erma Bombeck

"I'm OK"

2011-10-18T15:02:00.000-04:00

I didn't celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving this year. I had just returned home from a whirlwind one night trip to New York City where I had attended my dear friend's baby shower. I had a great time catching up with old friends and making new ones, but something was hanging over my head. Despite a lovely get away to fabulous NYC, I was sadly not in a place where I felt like giving thanks.

In the past few weeks I have been reminded, once again, how very important my health is. It is something I take for granted. And as I rapidly approach my 36th birthday, I'm still feeling relatively young and healthy, except for a few odd things that have been bothering me since August.

I have been grappling with the possibility that I could have an autoimmune disorder such as Multiple Sclerosis. I've been experiencing symptoms such as occasional numbness and tingling in my left foot, lower leg, and the left hand side of my face. I am not one to self diagnose, but after the third time my face went partially numb, I figured it was worth going in to see a professional. When my doctor sent me for an MRI of my lower spine, and then my neurologist sent me for an MRI of my brain and for an EMG test, I started to panic. This is real. This could really be happening. And the questions come flooding into my brain: What if they find something? What if this is the beginning of the end for my "normal" body? What if my life, and the life of my family, is about to seriously change? What if they tell me I have MS?

When you are stuck in an MRI tube, and you can't move for over half an hour, you have a lot of time to think. It is a very mentally and physically challenging experience and I was drained after both of them. I fully understand how many folks freak out and demand to be removed from the loud, cold, scary tube. The even tougher part was not immediately knowing what was found during the scans.

The second type of testing, the EMG, was pretty much 45 minutes of being electrocuted and then an hour of being poked by needles in the muscles of my legs and back. This made me wish I was back in the MRI tube. While I had pretty much kept it together for the whole testing process, I lost it as soon as I made it to my car after the appointment. The possibility of having a permanent disease and the reality of the testing became too much. I went home and lay on the couch in a fetal position crying (it didn't help that I was in pain and could barely walk after having needles repeatedly stuck in my leg muscles). Again my mind was churning. I was not meant to be the one who got sick. This kind of thing happens to other people, not me. How am I supposed to be a strong Mama if my fears become a reality?

To say that I have been distracted lately would be an understatement. I sincerely struggled to remain positive, but the weight of the unknown was rather difficult to carry.

I anxiously awaited my follow up appointment with my neurologist. Friday morning arrived and my husband asked if I was prepared for whatever news I was going to receive. I asked him how I was supposed to prepare. He told me he loved me and that we would deal with whatever the results of the tests were together. I was reminded how lucky I am to have such an amazing husband. I brought the little guy along with me as this was an appointment where I wanted his innocent company.

Do you know what I want to give thanks for now? Four days after Canadian Thanksgiving and forty one days before American Thanksgiving, I was told there is no evidence of any neurological problems. I do not have MS. As if I didn't have enough to be grateful for already, I am now set free from the burden of fearing I am sick. There really are no words to explain how awesome, exhausted, thrilled and drained I feel.

I immediately called my husband, and told him, "I'm OK, I'm OK." He thought for a second that I had received a bad diagnosis and I was comforting him telling by him I was OK with it. "No, really," I said, "I'm OK. I don't have MS and there's no evidence of any neurological problems." Standing outside the doctor's office building, cell phone pressed against my ear, and the sun in my face, the tears were flowing because I'm OK.

What do you do after such an intense experience? I went and ate fancy overpriced cupcakes with my little boy and gave thanks, because, as I mentioned, I'm OK.

"I Boy"

2011-10-04T14:54:00.000-04:00

Things around here have been busy. Not sure if I'm just adjusting to the new season, or things really are just plain busy. Essentially I have lots to say, and no time to write it. Or, more like, lots to say and by the time I get a chance to write I really don't feel like writing.

But here I sit, with a second to spare, and I want to take this opportunity to capture a moment I do not want to forget. Because ultimately, that is what this blog is about. When I am sitting in my rocking chair in a retirement home all old and gray, I want to read these words and remember.

We had just gotten back from an excursion in the car. I walked over and opened the little guy's door to unbuckle and get him out. I said, "Hi, Baby." He looked at me and said, "I no baby! I boy!" I let out a big laugh and gave him a bear hug while kissing his boy cheeks. "Indeed, my love, you are a boy," I replied.

I suppose when the kid is saying it himself, it must be true. My baby is a boy. He will be 3 in less than 3 months. He is a boy. And, as hard as it may be, it is time for me to embrace it. It's only been a week, but those words have been repeated many times around this house. We all know that the little guy is a boy, and that he's happy to be one.

Between you and me though, he'll always be my baby.

Poop Goes in the Potty

2011-09-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

This is just a quick post to brag about the fact that my son did not poop in his diaper yesterday. That's right. He did not poop in his diaper.

After lunch he informed me that he had poop coming and we rushed to the potty. It was a grand success. And before bath time he informed me he had more poop coming and we rushed to the potty. Another awesome experience.

It was a big poop day, and the fact that it all went into the toilet was quite monumental. I think I like our no pressure potty training approach. It certainly is much less stressful than the alternative.

And in case you were wondering, today ended up being a non-poop day. So we will just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow.

All in a Day's Work

2011-09-22T14:53:00.000-04:00

A few weeks back the babe and I were attending her classmate's birthday party.

As with all birthday parties we attend, I had brought her a special treat to make up for the fact she couldn't have the birthday cake the other kids were bound to be eating in her front of her. Usually this plan has worked. Sadly, it didn't work at this party. When it came time for snacks and cake, the babe came to me crying. She couldn't eat the sandwiches the other kids were eating and didn't get to indulge in the brownie cake that followed.

I felt so terribly bad for her. I have always been impressed with her ability to deal with eating different food than the people around her. I thought that since we've been aware of her allergies since she was 5 months old, that she was used to eating different food. What I am now realizing is that almost 5 year old girls don't like to be different. What they want is to eat the same cake as everybody else.

As you may recall, the babe has outgrown some of her allergies and can now have eggs, sesame and baked milk. While this opens up many doors, parents are never able to tell me the ingredients of what they are providing at birthday parties. They don't know if the party food may contain trace amounts of peanuts. They don't know if there is butter in the icing. They don't know if the food was manufactured on equipment which is used to produce tree nut products. And I don't want to take any chances.

Anyway, yesterday I spent an hour going through the list of snacks that are provided at the babe's school. For over 2 years, I have sent her snacks in with her and she has eaten different food than the other kids at snack time. I decided it was time to reevaluate this system and go through all the items that are served and read all the labels I could get my hands on. I came up with a solid list of the foods she can have at snack time, and a list of those which she is not to be served.

I have put some faith in her teachers and in her by doing this. I have lost some control. But for the first time the babe was able to share in snack time with her class yesterday. She was thrilled she got to eat what everyone else ate. And I got to feel like I had done my job as her Mama. It certainly feels good to make some progress. It also feels good to know that my daughter is one step closer to culinary independence.

That First Cafe Au Lait

2011-09-21T14:36:00.003-04:00

My friends, I am happy to announce that the day I have been eagerly anticipating finally arrived. Yesterday I dropped the babe off at her school, drove over the little guy's school, dropped him off, and drove to the coffee shop. I sat down, by myself, and ordered a cafe au lait in a bowl (because I was going to be sitting down for a while) and a croissant with gooey melted cheese and ham. It was simply marvelous, marvelous, marvelous. I got to sit for 45 minutes uninterrupted and read the "express" newspaper and my very engaging book, Bel Canto. I had waited almost 5 years for that moment and it was pure bliss.

Now, lets rewind to last week. On Tuesday the 13th, the little guy started school. He was so excited as we pulled up to the building. He kept yelling, "my school, my school!" The class was a buzz with activity, and all of us parents were staying for the session which went from 9:30 to 11:00 am. I was proud of the little guy's independence and general interest in getting his hands on everything he could, as fast as he could. He also rocked the sand box and was the first one in with the trucks. I had a good feeling when I left at 11 am. You know the kind of feeling you get when you realize you made a good decision (doesn't happen much, right?). Well that's how I felt. I was thrilled the little guy is going to be spending 2 mornings a week in this very fun and loving environment.

Then came Thursday....this was the day when parents didn't have to stay. I knew I was going to be taking off as soon as I felt the little guy was OK. What I didn't realize was that he was going to feel OK the second he walked into the classroom. I literally had to beg my boy for a hug good bye. Again, I left the building feeling secure and happy. I have volunteered to be the school's newsletter editor this year, which meant I had a meeting to attend that morning. So while I was without children for a short window, I was not doing anything special (i.e. selfish) to mark this new phase of my life.

Special came to me yesterday.

While I don't envision spending 2 mornings a week drinking cafe au lait, I am looking forward to all the little things I will be able to take care of in my 5 hours of freedom a week (which includes drive time, sadly).

Here's to all the possibilities!

I Remember

2011-09-11T21:55:00.002-04:00

This week I had to explain to my daughter what happened on September 11th, 2001.

It's not something I planned, but when the opportunity arose, I decided to share a few details with her. She took in the information I provided and said she wanted to see pictures. I knew there would be a lot of media coverage of the 10 year anniversary and thought it was best if she had a base understanding of what had occurred on 9/11. In her 4 year old brain she processed that planes had crashed into numerous buildings on the same day.

I honestly had never thought about when I would have to explain the events of 9/11 to my kids. I never planned what I would say and what I would not. But when a DJ on the car radio started discussing the upcoming anniversary as we drove to school, I knew the time had come. The babe was sitting so innocently in her car seat and started to ask questions. Despite the fact that I closely monitor my children's exposure to mass media, my daughter wanted to know the story.

Today, after sneaking up on me in the living room while I was watching the news during "nap time," she followed up and asked me why it had happened. I told her that I honestly didn't know and that many people have asked the same question. I did not explain to her that planes crashed into numerous buildings and a field because of a few evil men. When is it ever OK to explain that to an innocent child? I did tell her that today is a day to remember the people who died (not that that is easy to digest, either).

Tonight as I watch the television coverage of the anniversary, I have been consumed with memories of what it was like to live in New York City in September of 2001. In some ways it seems like so long ago and yet right now, as I watch the horrible images flashing across my screen, it feels like only yesterday. Nothing has ever touched me as deeply as the days following 9/11. I continue to count my blessings on a daily basis, but wish I was better at remembering how precious each and every day is. As we learnt 10 years ago, one day can change everything.

Back to School

2011-09-10T14:47:00.000-04:00

I never thought we'd make it to September 7th, but we did.

On our last full day together, I decided to take the kids to the Museum of Natural History to see how the dinosaurs are doing (they're fine, by the way). We had a great time and I felt like a good Mama for getting off my posterior and driving downtown in the rain.

Wednesday morning rolled around and we were all ready to go. Everyone but the little guy. He knew we were bringing his sister to school and wasn't ready to say good bye to his summer play mate.

The school was complete mayhem with parents and little people crowding every available space. There were a lot of new faces floating around, including 2 new teachers in the babe's classroom. We got my little girl situated and said our farewells. She appeared to be thrilled to be back in her class and immediately started touring around with one of her best gal pals. Very cute.

What wasn't cute was the little guys sad face. As soon as we said good bye to the babe, the little guy started pouting, "I miss Coco, I miss Coco." I suppose after spending 7 weeks straight with his big sister he was not prepared to go back to the old boring routine with Mama.

As we left the building I had a big smile on my face. Despite the fact that the little guy was sad, I was happy. I noticed a pregnant woman and her husband standing outside the school. He was rubbing her back and she was staring in the school window crying. I stopped for a second and wondered what was wrong with me. Is that the kind of reaction I'm supposed to be having? After a moment's reflection, I remembered that I'm just not that kind of Mama...I am the kind of Mama that smiles after dropping off her child at preschool. Granted, it is her third year, but I am pretty sure I did not shed a tear after dropping her off for her very first day.

Anyway, the little guy survived the separation and the next day he got to visit his new classroom and meet his teacher. It went smashingly well and he seemed right at home. He starts school 2 mornings a week this Tuesday and I think we're both ready. We'll see if I'm shedding tears on Thursday when I leave him there on his own for the first time. Somehow I don't think I will be. After 5 years of full time Motherhood, this temporary freedom will no doubt be a delicious treat to be savored.

The Summer

2011-09-08T14:41:00.001-04:00

I have just survived what possibly could have been the longest summer of my life.

Don't get me wrong, there was a LOT of awesomeness. But frankly, it was a LOT of work.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard "How was your summer?" over the past week. I have been smiling and saying, " Great, thanks, how was yours?"

I suppose in passing people don't really have time to get into it, but really, let's be honest, a summer with 2 kids and no camp is intense. Really, really intense. As you may have guessed, there wasn't a whole lot of time for blogging. And I truly missed my blogging.

Some of the highlights of the past 7 weeks include:

Lewes, Delaware, otherwise known as "The Beach": I am now able to confirm that the ocean is indeed only 3 hours from DC. It is beautiful and blue and I love being by the water. My kids were beach bunnies and loved the scene. To call it a vacation, however, would be a tad inaccurate. I think what I have realized is that you can't really have a "vacation" when caring for 2 kids under the age of 5. They need to be fed 3 meals a day plus snacks, they expect to be entertained most of the time, and they tend to go a bit batty with their sleep schedules when pulled out of their familiar home routines (like getting up at 5:30am). I was more tired after the beach than before the beach, but frankly, it was totally worth it. I love the ocean and I think it loves me too. I also love my amazing friend A who came down from NYC for the crazy beach trip and made everything more happy on a daily basis. I could not have done it without her.

This was our regular "spot"

I sat in this chair for an hour staring at the water and it was the best hour of my entire summer.

Montreal, Canada: The kids and I spent 5 days in lovely Montreal visiting my Mother in Law (MIL). We saw good friends, ate delicious food (home cooked Indian food or bagels, anyone?), and got to regroup after our ocean adventure. My MIL has saved all of my husband's toys from when he and his sister were kids. You remember the Fisher Price airport, garage, school bus, etc? Well she's still got them, and my kids get a serious kick out of them, as do I. Hours of fun.

Ottawa, Canada: This was a 2 week visit with my folks which featured hanging out with family, friends and more family and friends. We went to some awesome parks (my favorites are Andrew Hayden Park and Britannia Beach Park), visited the Experimental Farm, Valley View Little Animal Farm, and got to swim in my parents pool on an almost daily basis. The babe was even lucky enough to score a trip to the Canadian Museum of Nature with her sweet Uncle A (my brother). Many good times were had by all, including my stomach which seems to have expanded after being on the road for a month.

The lovely view at Andrew Hayden Park

Britannia Beach

We saw a lot of very cool animals at the farms we visited.

By the time we took off back home, I had managed to see friends from my childhood, high school, university, and my NYC life. I saw almost every Aunt and Uncle I have. I saw my brother and his lovely fiancee. And I felt like we had had a darn successful trip to Canada. Luckily we managed to fly back to DC the day before Hurricane Irene hit the area. And luckily our travels went smoothly, which is a lot to say when road tripping across the border for a cheaper flight and flying alone with 2 kids.

So, how was your summer?

Happy Anniversary!

2011-08-14T20:15:00.001-04:00

I know I should be writing about the beach.

I know I should be writing about Montreal.

I know I should be writing about summer "vacation."

But frankly, I'm too tired.

What I want to write about is my parents. Today they are celebrating 40 years of marriage. They are out on the town as I write this from their home office in Ottawa. I am so proud of the family they created and am so grateful to have been born into this family.

I only pray I will be as blessed in 34 years time.

So congratulations, Mom and Dad. You are both awesome and I love you both dearly. Thank you for everything you have done, and continue to do.

The Beach

2011-07-31T20:49:00.001-04:00

It's official. The kids and I leave for the beach in the morning.

I have a zillion things to cram into our car (which is not a mini van!). I have a lot of sunscreen and many bathing suit options for the kids. I have a silly amount of food ready to go (I'm not sure what we'll be able to track down that is allergy friendly in the little beach town we're staying).

After living in DC for 8 years, I am finally heading to the Delaware coast. I have never taken the little guy to the ocean, and the babe hasn't visited the beach since our trip to North Carolina when she was a wee little 1.5 year old. We're all ready to experience the beauty and power of the water and sand.

I am praying the 3 hour drive goes smoothly tomorrow. I will not be able to pull off the road every time they need something or decide to have a melt down. I am expecting the babe to really shift gears and hopefully rise to the occasion. I know she gets how special this is, and I hope she realizes how much I need her cooperation.

All this said, I will be offline for at least the next week. I look forward to sharing the highlights of our adventure with you. But it will have to wait because as soon as we get back from the beach, we are heading to the airport to fly North. I've managed to coordinate an exciting Canadian adventure to visit our people. August is going to be quite something. I can already feel it.

And So it Begins

2011-07-26T13:55:00.000-04:00

I thought I was ready for Day 1 of summer vacation. I had a few things scheduled and thought we could just have "fun" the rest of the time. As much as I tried, the "fun" I had envisioned seemed pretty hard to come by.

Turns out I wasn't as prepared for Day 1 as I thought I was.  By the end of the day I had a son with a black eye, a daughter with no clue as to how her behavior was impacting others, and an unsavory feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My husband came home with a fresh perspective and tried to talk us down off the ledge. It is always helpful to have a burst of positivity come through the door following a really rough day. After the kids were in bed, we continued to discuss how to make things better with the babe. The conversation continued on this morning after I realized that the little guy's eye was worse than I had thought (needless to say, the babe had smacked his eye with something during a rather violent and chaotic play date).  My husband and I decided that all the talk about "being good," "doing good listening," "no yelling and hitting," wasn't getting us anywhere. In fact it may be hurting us as we struggle to get through to her. All this non-stop pressure to be a "good kid" has her acting exactly the opposite.

So we're going to try dropping all the "blah, blah, blah" and see how that goes. I am sick of the sound of my own nagging voice so this is coming at a great time for me. Another idea we're kicking around is just dropping down to our knees and hugging our little girl. Where I would have lost my cool and gone off on her before, I am now going to try and get ahead of the situation and hug her when things seem to be taking a turn for the worse.  It will be a huge challenge for me as I don't usually feel like hugging when things are headed South. So perhaps it will be good for both of us in the end.

Things have been going better today. I am reminding myself that I am the adult and have to lead by example. And I am trying to remember that my kids are kids and aren't usually acting out to get back at me. They just don't know how to control their emotions, and I supposedly do. My job is to teach them. And the next 6 weeks is my chance to practice being the best Mama and person that I can be. I think it's going to be the only way to make it to Labor Day.

So hang in there with me. And please forgive my occasional rants. Sometimes I just need to get it out and remember that it's not all about me and that I am not the only parent out there with a "spirited child." Thanks for reading and please know that your thoughts are always welcome ( I won't hide it, I LOVE getting comments on my posts!).

Thank You, Miss. D

2011-07-23T13:56:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was the last day of preschool for the year. The babe didn't seem to appreciate the magnitude of it all. And I don't remember it feeling so dramatic last July. Perhaps it is because we had to say good bye to one of her beloved teachers, Miss. D.

Miss. D has been such a loving and positive role model in the babe's life. She has been a solid and sweet force of good vibrations and has made me feel like I made the right decision in sending my daughter to this particular school. I have always felt I could be honest and straight forward with her I appreciate that she has always been the same way with me.

Through the ups and downs of the babe's last 2 preschool years, Miss. D has stood by her and encouraged us to find ways to help the babe through her bumpy periods (like when she was biting other kids).

As I hugged Miss. D goodbye, I fought back a few tears, because I am really going to miss her smiling face. I'm excited she has found a teaching position closer to her home, but I know there is going to be a gap that is hard to fill next year. So thanks, Miss. D, for reminding me what a critical role teachers play in children's lives. You will be missed.

Let the Summer Begin

2011-07-21T14:22:00.001-04:00

Ahhhhhhhh....summer. Lazy days by the pool. Chasing butterflies. Playing in the splash park. But wait. It's about 100 degrees out there. I'm not joking.

In less than an hour I am taking off to pick the babe up at school. It is the last time I will be doing the 3:30 pm pick up until after Labour Day. She gets off at noon tomorrow and then, as far as I'm concerned, summer really begins. By summer, I mean having 2 kids at home all day in a heat wave. Now that's what I'm talking about.

I have been trying to ignore that this day would come, but here it is.

Luckily we have many exciting plans for August which include my first trip with both kids to the beach and a few weeks in lovely, hopefully cooler, Canada.

Am I scared? Why yes, yes I am. I don't know if I''ve mentioned it, but I think I'm a great hands on Mama when there's only 1 kid around. I can easily do 1 on 1. Bump that up to 2 and I start losing control of the situation pretty quickly. My kids are just too much of a dynamic duo for me sometimes. The old saying that you can't make everybody happy becomes exceedingly apparent once we've all spent a few hours together.

I am officially calling on all my reserves of calm and patience and sending out vibes to the universe to help me through the next 6 weeks. Things are going to change around here, and I'm going to embrace it, because what else can I do?

In Context

2011-07-20T14:50:00.000-04:00

I need to stop and take a deep breath. My kids are changing and growing every second and saying and doing the most amazing things every day. I forget that they are little people with very big ideas. They just don't know how to put their big ideas into any sort of context.

Today was the babe's class trip to the WATER PARK! She was in a great mood and being quite cooperative (maybe I need to take her there every day?). She was also in a very, very chatty mood.

As we neared her school, the babe was talking about playing in the water, using goggles, and then announced that she wanted a snorkel. I told her I didn't have a snorkel, but if I saw one designed for 4 year olds I would consider buying it. Frankly, I'm not sure 4 year olds are able to use snorkels....but what do I know. She thanked me and proceeded to ask if the police arrest you if you don't use the snorkel properly.

At the time I was parking the car and a huge smile spread across my face. I turned around to face her and asked if she could repeat herself. I had apparently heard her right the first time: Do the police arrest you if you don't use your snorkel properly? I'm not sure what I've been saying about the police lately (maybe that they should arrest all the terrible drivers clogging up DC's streets), but I assured her that the police are not involved in snorkeling and do not arrest children who are improperly using snorkels. In fact, she doesn't really need to worry about being arrested at all....not yet, anyway.

This conversation served as a good reminder that part of my role as a Mama is to help my kids piece the world together, bit by bit. As much as it may appear that the babe has it all figured out, she doesn't. And for that, I'm grateful.

Sweet, Sweet, Saturday and Sullen, Snotty Sunday

2011-07-19T14:55:00.000-04:00

It was bliss. Last Saturday was a postcard Saturday. It was the kind of summer Saturday I used to dream of having. A perfect day. A lovely sleep in. Well behaved children. Drinks on the patio under our new umbrella. Kids playing in the kiddie pool and sliding into the water with glee. BBQ dinner. Good conversation. Many laughs. Many smiles. All around great vibes.

As my husband said on Sunday though, I suppose we had such a lovely time that we have to pay for it now. Sunday was one of those days I never used to dream of having. The kids were cranky and misbehaved. In fact, the babe even screamed that she is going to be a better Mother than me when she grows up. Keep in mind this was as I was loading her into the car for a morning play date at the park (what kind of Mother does that, anyway?). I shut the car door and announced to the empty streets that I hope my daughter IS a better Mama than me one day. Always room for improvement.

My husband and I were wiped out. It was hot and muggy. We ended up canceling our planned trip to the Outback Steakhouse because the babe had pushed us too far. We even cancelled dessert and story time for good measure. And for some strange reason the kids weren't as into the US vs Japan soccer game as my husband and I were. Overall, it was not a feel good day. I was totally ready for Monday when it came.

Sadly Monday came and the misery continued. It is amazing that one child's behavior has the ability to knock the rest of the family from their feel good place, but there it is. I can only hope that my continued efforts to get through to my little girl will eventually succeed.

Not sure if it's the fact that we're facing the last week of summer school, or the fact that it is truly miserably hot and humid, but we need to figure out a way for the babe to be happy so the rest of us can be happy, because I am not interested in being held hostage by her extreme moodiness, lack of respect and inability to listen to simple instructions. I understand children need to test limits, but I am getting tired of upholding them all the time.

All that said, I do try and remind myself, just as she reminded us the other day, the babe is, after all, only four and a half. I don't remember what it's like to be that age, but I assume it must be a mix of awesome and terrible. At the end of the day, I truly hope I can recreate more sweet, sweet Saturdays and help us all find some inner peace. Ideas are always welcome!

Potty Talk

2011-07-15T13:45:00.000-04:00

I am tired of my self analysis stint and am officially switching gears. My Dad was right when he told me I always seem to want to be obsessing about something!

I'd like to talk about bathrooms. Specifically, bathrooms and children.

I have become hyper aware of the fact that I probably sit on a lot of pee and poo fragments left on toilet seats by my daughter. At 4.5 she has pretty much mastered the art of using the toilet when necessary. In fact, earlier this week the babe and her new friend (a neighbor) decided to kick off their first play date with a rather prolonged trip to the bathroom. The female inclination to head to the bathroom in groups apparently kicks in quite early.

There do, however, appear to be some gaps in the clean up section of the babe's bathroom usage skills.

More than one time this week we have walked into a rather nasty situation in our bathrooms. Little flecks of poop on the floor, chunks of poop stuck on toilet seats, and smushed looking poo all over the kiddie potty seat, which she claims she doesn't need. I feel like I have been walking around with a container of Clorox wipes all week.

You know that feeling you get when you stand up after using the toilet and realize you sat in wetness which has now transferred to the back of your legs? That is fairly common around here. I guess I just hadn't really spent much time thinking about what other disturbing things I could have been sitting on over the past few years. I've decided it's time to get my head in the game and always assume the worst. I am not a germaphobe, but I think I am officially done with sitting in yuck.

I am secretly grateful the little guy is still in diapers as I don't quite think I'm ready to face the challenges of potty training with him. If I think things are gross right now, I'm sure I will be looking back at these times as the good 'oll days. Before we venture down that path, I am going to work on toilet etiquette with the babe and try and get her squared away before we have to start all over again.

Perception

2011-07-13T14:55:00.001-04:00

Last night I went to a community "social" event. It was a wine & cheese/meet & greet, book reading/discussion hosted by my next door neighbor, the local community association President. After confirming my attendance the day prior, my neighbor asked me for a favor. Would I be able to help watch the bar and make sure there was enough wine, beer, and glasses left out for the crowd? In my new role as Block Captain (that's another story), I was more than happy to help out.

I was looking forward to a little intellectual conversation and to learning a bit more about this father-daughter journalist team. I have both a political science and journalism background so I tend to enjoy this sort of event. I briefly spoke to my Mother before leaving and mentioned that I was off to a book reading. When I mentioned the book title, Haunting Legacy: Vietnam and the American Presidency from Ford to Obama, she informed me she had just seen the authors interviewed on PBS last week. Who knew my neighborhood was so cutting edge?

After making sure everyone at home was fed and bathed, I threw on some fitted black non-play date clothes and went off to the event. I quickly got to business tending the bar as there was a healthy turn out and lots of glasses being filled. After I had made a few trips from the fridge to the bar, the event planner's husband (my next door neighbor) asked if I had ever worked in restaurants or bars before. Apparently I was right back in the swing of my former role as a student server/bartender.

I quickly realized no one was really speaking to me, unless it was to ask a question about the wine, nor were they really making eye contact. Oh My. It dawned on me that my neighbors thought I was being paid to do this! In fact, my neighbors didn't realize that I was their neighbor.

I suppose I was probably the youngest person in the room, and wearing black, and standing behind the bar. When I mentioned my observations to my next door neighbor, the event planner, she said I should take it as a compliment, and I'm going to. For half an hour I was my old poli sci/journalism student bartending self. Perhaps it was even a little slice of feeling alive? Whatever it was, it reminded me that what we perceive to be the truth, isn't always so, and who I appear to be can change from the streets of Manhattan to the parks of Washington, DC to the community centers of Bethesda.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow - Part Two

2011-07-12T14:52:00.000-04:00

I realize now that yesterday's post was rather self indulgent and privileged sounding. Last night I was thinking about what I'd written and it dawned on me that I really should be focussing on how lucky I am to even be in the position I'm in.

As I watched Mothers trying to find food and shelter for their children in drought stricken East Africa on the BBC last night, I was reminded that I have no right to complain about my lack of independent travel and people watching opportunities. I chose my path and am blessed to be on it. The feeling alive sensation I had over the weekend was just a different version of the one I normally have now (like when everything is going smashingly well with my family).

I have never had both feet fully in the stay-at-home Mama thing, and have always wondered how long I would last with this job title. What I have trouble dealing with is the idea that it could go on endlessly unless I actively pursue another path. The more I think about it, the more I realize that path is going to have to be flexible and balanced. Needless to say, that isn't going to be easy to find.

As I ran from errand to errand this morning with the little guy in tow, I remembered how busy and important my job really is. It may not be what I was trained to do, but for now I am the best person to do it. No one else can be a Mama to my kids and for now, while they are so young, I think my efforts are best focused on the home front. If I can't get everything done now, I can't imagine how strung out I'd feel if I was at an office full time.

What I haven't told you is that I have arranged for the little guy to join a co-op nursery school for 2 mornings a week in September. He is ready to be away from me and I am excited to have found what appears to be a very loving and play based environment for him. It will also amount to 5 hours of "alone" time for me. This will be the first regular 5 hours a week I have had alone in almost 5 years. I know the time will go by fast, but I am already excited by all the things I hope to achieve with my special time.

Don't get me wrong, everything I said yesterday is still true (and self indulgent, but I really do want that feeling alive feeling more!!). But so is this. I just wanted to make sure I put out a balanced picture when sending my thoughts to the universe.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

2011-07-11T14:29:00.000-04:00

I am slowly coming back down to earth after my marvelous visit to my favorite city. The problem with looking forward to something for so long is that you don't quite know what to feel once it's over. Needless to say, it was a brilliant adventure (thanks, A!). And while I was happy to return to my sweet sleeping children, my tired husband (thanks again, honey!), and my very own home, I am always sad to leave THE place that makes me feel so very alive.

As I don't normally get uninterrupted time to read, I had decided on some light entertainment for my train travels. The book I chose to bring along was about a single professional girl living in Manhattan, about my age. The character is at a point where she is questioning what she wants out of life and whether or not she'd even be able to play the role of the "good Mother" who makes necklaces out of Cheerios and plans blow out birthday parties for her kids. The character passes a comment that stay-at-home Mothers know what every day, month, and year are going to look like for at least the next decade. Their lives are determined by their children's lives and schedules.

Reading that made me feel sick. And as a stay-at-home Mother, I am not sure I agree. Or perhaps I don't want to think about the truth that may lie in her comment. I am a planner, so the idea of knowing what the next decade looks like is oddly reassuring. At the same time, I am not a fan of the next decade of my life being structured only by my children's academic calendars and extra curricular activities.

This leads me to the feeling alive thing. Being in NYC with friends who knew me before I was a Mama reminded me of what it feels like to be me. Just me. Christine. Not the wife part and not the Mother part. The me that used to have a job on Madison Avenue. The me that used to have a seriously active social life. The me that traveled, had fun, and a whole lot less responsibility.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, because I have almost everything I used to dream of having. I realize I am a grown up now and will never be that carefree girl again. And that's more than OK. But something about being on my own for the first weekend in over a year got me to thinking, how can I get this feeling more? Frequent independent travel is not doable for the foreseeable future, but would having a paid job outside the home give me that feeling back? Would having an identity outside of this family give me the independence and exposure to humanity that I seem to be missing?

These are serious questions which I've been facing for some time. And while I go back and forth on what the ideal plan for our family is, I am now realizing that the dream scenario has to include what is best for my family AND for me. While I can't run off to Manhattan whenever I need some feeling alive time, I want to remember the importance of that feeling. My quest for balance between Motherhood and personal independence is not a new one, but it certainly has come back to the forefront of my mind.

While I'm not going to figure this all out today, sometimes it just feels good to spit out my confusion and questions to the universe and see what comes back my way.

Bad Blogger

2011-07-08T10:38:00.000-04:00

I have been irresponsible. I apologize for not posting to tell you that the babe's food challenge was a success! She has now been cleared for baked dairy (like cake, cookies, and other good stuff). We are all thrilled and so relieved that she seems to be growing out of her food allergies.

In the past week, my husband and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary (yay, us! and, where has the time gone?), went for dinner a few times, went to a movie (it had been a year and a half since my husband and I were in a theater together), bought a mini freezer for the basement (my husband's Mother has been visiting and cooking up a storm for us!), celebrated Canada Day, celebrated the 4th of July, went to a BBQ, hosted a BBQ, dealt with various home owner related issues and have generally been running all over the place like a chicken with its head cut off.

These things do not amount to a valid excuse for not writing, but finding computer time has been challenging.

More news: I am taking off by myself for the first time in over a year. My train to NYC leaves in a few hours and I am so very, very excited. A weekend in my favorite city with my old and lovely friends. How delicious is that?

I will get back into the swing of things upon my return. But I did want to say hello and that I miss updating you on all the excitement and chaos of life in our home.

Enjoy Life

2011-06-30T14:23:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow the babe and I are going for another "food challenge" at the allergist's office. This will involve sitting in a small room with my daughter for about 6 hours as she is slowly fed muffins made with real cows milk. Apparently when you bake milk it breaks down the protein which can cause allergic reactions. And apparently the doctors think she is ready to take on the "baked milk challenge."

I haven't spent too much time thinking about it, until today. My Mother-in-Law and I were having lunch and she started asking questions about the appointment and how long we'd be gone. As I explained to her how the appointments go (I've done 3 challenges with my kids already), I realized I had not thought about the fact that all the challenges we've done so far have been successful. My kids had out grown their "challenge" allergies and did not have any reactions whatsoever.

What I haven't spent time thinking about is the fact that not all food challenges are successful and that sometimes kids have severe reactions. That said, I am not going to stress about it now. The only way we can really know if the babe is ready for baked milk is to give her small amounts in a safe environment and monitor her along the way.

All this reminds me that I want to say a big thank you....not to my husband, not to my Mom, but to a food company. I am not being paid to give this endorsement, I just feel so grateful that Enjoy Life Foods exists and are creating foods that help my daughter feel "normal." Enjoy Life Foods makes amazing chocolate chips which I have been using in the babe's treats for some time. Last week I discovered that they now make chocolate bars she can have (imagine eating your first ever chocolate bar!). And yesterday, I was beyond thrilled to discover 3 varieties of granola bars that will be safe for the babe and her lunch box. It has been hard living without the easy to grab granola bar, and while I like the ones I make, I don't exactly always have them on hand. While the babe is now only allergic to dairy, peanuts and tree nuts, it is rare to find a company that is making tasty treats that are dairy, gluten, peanut, tree nut, soy, egg and casein free! I just want to thank Enjoy Life Foods for helping my daughter enjoy her own.

Follow-Up

2011-06-28T20:49:00.000-04:00

For a budget massage in Northwest DC, check out the Potomac Massage Training Institute.

And for an amazing Italian meal in a cozy restaurant in Northwest DC, check out DeCarlo's Restaurant.

These two activities brought joy to my life last week! Enjoy.

Thanks, Mom!

2011-06-28T13:31:00.001-04:00

My last post was thanking my husband. This one is to thank my Mom.

When I heard my husband would be leaving town for work for 10 to 14 days I had a bit of a panic attack. That is really beyond the amount of time I feel comfortable being a single parent. So I called my Mom and subtly let her know that she would be more than welcome to come down for a visit.

She immediately went online, found a good flight on points, and after calling back to check, went ahead and booked an 8 day stay. And what a joy it was to have her with us for the past week. As she said this morning over our last shared coffee of the visit, the days were long but the week flew by. I told her I think that's what it's like when you hang out with little people so much.

In the time she was here we managed to go swimming, to numerous parks, and to a puppet show. I also managed to have a massage (at the budget training school near my home), to go clothes shopping, and to go grocery shopping all by myself. Not only that, but we also booked a babysitter on Saturday night and went for a fabulous Italian meal at DeCarlo's Restaurant in DC.

I was exhausted and overwhelmed when she arrived, and I am blessed to have a Mom who swooped in and helped with all the details of life with my kids. The cooking, the cleaning, the playing and the general tickidy boom of the house hold went so much smoother because she was here.

I am lucky to have such a great Mom. And I am grateful we enjoy each others company so much.

She flew back to Canada today and we will miss her. But guess who arrives from Canada tomorrow? My Mother in Law! We have back to back coverage and the kids and I are blessed. As my husband said the morning he flew home from his most recent business trip, "I love my family."

A Big Thank You

2011-06-19T20:35:00.000-04:00

I want to send my husband a huge (virtual) hug and gigantic kiss. I want to document how much I love him and how grateful I am that he is the Father of my children (who are not easy), and a Husband to me (who is also not easy). Our family seems to be securely strapped into the perpetual roller coaster of life, and while there are many highs and lows, I know that the kids and I have a man who is always going to be strapped in right next to us.

While we both continue to have our good days and our bad, we are committed to finding ways to make our family work. We are always striving towards that "union" of parenting styles that will make for a smoother path into the future.

I know what it's like to get lost in the hassles of daily life. And I know that I don't say thank you enough. But today, June 19, 2011, I want it on the record that I am a grateful Wife and Mother. I am blessed enough to have built a family and a home with my closest friend; and I want to wish him a Happy Father's Day. Thank you for everything you do (like getting on multiple planes to fly to work-related committments on Father's Day). All our love, C xoxo

The Office View

2011-06-18T10:22:00.000-04:00

I have been working on unpacking our office. It has been a total mess since we moved in last October. I didn't want to hit the one year mark without having it set up. Why buy a house with an office if you're going to avoid it because the mess stresses you out?

So I have made it a bit of a "project" this week. Nap times have been spent moving stuff around, unpacking boxes, and generally trying to create some sense of order. I have been making progress and it feels good.

One benefit of being in the office is that I can see outside the front of our house. The other day I was at the desk when I saw a group of about 7 sketchy looking teenagers (I'm 35, so I can say that now) walking slowly down the street and staring into peoples homes and looking in car windows. It was broad daylight and they were obviously looking for trouble. I immediately went to shut my shade as I didn't want them coming up to ring the doorbell and waking the kids up (the babe has been home from school since Wednesday until the "camp" version begins on Monday).

A few of them proceeded to casually walk onto my neighbors lawn. She is a Stay-at-Home Mama like me and tends to keep her front door open. My heart started racing as I watched one of them pick up a scooter sitting on the lawn and walk off to the street with it. The gang kept moving and the scooter stealer scooted away with them.

I had a zillion thoughts racing through my mind. Before I could think too much about it I ran out to the street and started yelling at them, "Hey, that's not your scooter! Bring that back here!" I knew that if I didn't try and get the scooter back, I would beat myself up about it for weeks to come. To my surprise, the little thief stopped and headed back.

I glared at him and took the scooter. "That belongs to a 7 year old kid. How do you think he's going to feel when he realizes someone stole it?" I was so pumped up at this point I don't even remember what he said, or if he said anything at all.

There has been an "uptick" in crime in my neighborhood lately and we have been asked to report suspicious activity. There was recently an armed car jacking at a nearby intersection, there have been a lot of cars being broken into, and some assaults at near by bus stops. After staring at the "gang" in disbelief, I ran inside the house and called 911. I have never reported suspicious activity in my life, but I knew I had to make the call. I gave the operator the info and she told me they would send someone out.

When I later went to tell my neighbor what had happened, she mentioned she had seen a police cruiser driving by quickly and had wondered what was up. I have never seen a police car on our street, so was bummed I missed seeing the one police car I had been been involved in arranging for.

Anyway, I think I did the right thing, although when my husband returned from his business trip later that night, he asked if perhaps I should have let them go and just called 911. This thought had never occurred to me. I am a Mom and now I am a home owner and I don't want people to think they can come into our neighborhood and take things that don't belong to them. Needless to say I was glad we had an alarm system installed when we moved in. I don't know what retribution I could expect for interfering with an attempted scooter robbery, and I don't want to find out (I say that in jest, sort of).

Who is God?

2011-06-14T14:57:00.000-04:00

On Sunday I took the babe to the baptism of my friend's son. It was held in an Episcopal Church and included a full religious service.

I don't usually get into religion here, but I just had to share a few things.

I was raised Catholic and attended Mass pretty much every Sunday of my life for 17 years.

My husband was raised Hindu.

We now have 2 children who have not been baptized and who do not attend any regular religious services. When we visit our families in Canada, we go to Mass and we go to the Temple. We are in a wonderful position where we can educate our kids about love, respect and the fact that there is not one "right" and "wrong" when it comes to different religious beliefs. We are going for the open approach and plan on helping our kids explore and supporting them if they choose to follow.

An Episcopal service is rather long, similar to the Catholic ones I grew up with. The babe doesn't have a lot of experience sitting on hard wooden pews and remaining quiet, so it was a bit challenging for her. I held her up when we stood so she could see what was going on, and tried to support her when she got exasperated by the length of the service.

As cooperative as she was, she occasionally asked questions in a not so quiet voice. The one I wanted to share with you was, "Mama, who is God"? Whoa. That is a REALLY big question and I wasn't exactly in a position to get into it with her. I whispered to her that we could talk about it in the car.

For the rest of the service I formulated my answer so I would be prepared. The obvious answer to me was that "God is love." After things wrapped up at the church we had a 10 minute drive to talk about God, all the different religions in the world, and about how Grandpa and Dadima (my Husband's Mother) both believe in God but attend different places of worship. I didn't get too deep into it, but I think I covered the basics in as open a fashion as possible.

I know that our open approach to religious education may seem a bit odd to some, but I am hoping that the kids learn that there isn't one answer and that we can support them in their journey, wherever it may lead them. Luckily the babe seemed satisfied with our discussion; although I'm sure we'll have many opportunities to expand upon it in the future.

My Feet

2011-06-10T15:03:00.000-04:00

OUCH!!!!

When you have kids, no one warns you how many times a day your feet are going to get trampled, run over, or stepped on in warmer weather. This morning my son dropped something on my friend's foot and I told her I had been meaning to write a small post about the constant foot damage Mothers experience at the hands of their youngsters. She wisely pointed out that the thing that makes it so hard to deal with, is that it always takes you by surprise. You can try and protect yourself, but they are still going to get you.

That pretty manicure you managed to arrange? It may not even last an hour once you've returned home. There's just nothing we can do about it other than wear full coverage foot wear all day long. And when it's 102 degrees outside, that ain't happening.

I will give the kids a bit of a break and admit that it's not always their fault. Yesterday I managed to knock a fork off our kitchen counter and have it land, spokes down, on my foot. One spoke actually managed to break the skin and leave me with a red and bruised dot.

Anyway, just had to get that out of my system. Happy weekend to everyone!

Vegas and Other Stories

2011-06-09T13:23:00.001-04:00

There's been a lot going down around here lately. Just wanted to share a few updates to keep everyone in the loop.

I don't usually advertise on the Internet when my husband is out of town, but last Thursday he took off for Las Vegas. It was not a business trip, so it was a unique situation. In the 4.5 years since the babe was born, my husband has rarely left our side, unless it was required for work. To celebrate turning 40, my husband (who I should give a blogging nickname to) and a group of his best friends from high school decided to live it up in Vegas for 4 days. He had my blessings and I really wanted him to have an awesome time.

That all said, I had forgotten what it can be like to be on my own with 2 kids for that long, especially when there is no school on the weekend to provide a bit of relief. There were many highs and lows, and we survived the experience, including yet another power outage at an inconvenient time (is it ever convenient to lose your power?). Needless to say, I was pretty psyched when he came back safe and sound. The pressure of being solely responsible for 2 little lives was a tad much for me....combined with the standard lack of sleep. But all in all, I am glad he went, because that man deserved a break from the madness.

On Tuesday the babe turned 4.5 which is slightly mind boggling. I used to celebrate every month of my kids lives and take a picture of them with a sign indicating how old they were. I did take a lot of pictures of her on Tuesday, but she was holding a chocolate cupcake with a candle and a big grin on her face instead of a sign. It is amazing how a cupcake and a candle can make everything seem so special.

Earlier in the day I had attended my last preschoolers parenting class. I was extremely sad to see it end and will miss the 2 hours a week I used to spend learning about how to be a more patient and positive parent. While I am still trying to put all I know in theory into practice, I am sure that all the time invested in these classes will somehow pay off in little ways I can't even see. A few of us were weepy eyed at the end and it was really hard to say good bye to my amazing teachers and the lovely woman who watched the little guy while I was in class. In fact he loves her so much that instead of calling her "Miss.Mary," he calls her "Aunt Mary." I am not sure how long it will take him to realize that his regular Tuesday mornings with Aunt Mary have come to a close (they have been together every week since I started classes in February). Anyway, if anyone reading this in the DC area wants to learn more about this amazing parenting program (Parent Encouragement Program), you can check them out online at http://www.parentencouragement.org/.

I also hosted my book club on our deck on Tuesday evening. It was an awesome way to wrap up such a intense day. We discussed Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda. If you're looking for a good story that has a lot of motherhood and biracial family themes, this would be a solid pick. You may recall I blathered on about loving my home a few months back, and I have to say it felt so good to have all the ladies form my old Street come over to my new home and hang out as the sun set and the sky turned pink. The company and conversation were lovely.

Anyway, apologies for being all over the place. As much as this is a blog, I sometimes treat it like a journal. In the end, it will be a great document of our life, so some blather along the way is OK by me.

The Kind of Mom I Am

2011-06-04T13:25:00.000-04:00

We woke this morning to a full on power outage. The little guy was standing at my door crying and I quickly realized it was going to be a long day. Saturdays are always long days, but this had an extra special "long day" feeling.

Realizing there was not going to be any snuggling in bed watching cartoons and dozing, we all headed downstairs for some cereal and fruit. The power was still not back by the time we finished breakfast. What next? We decided it would be fun to go to the park. So we all got dressed, packed our drinks and snacks, went to the front door to get our shoes, and BAM; the power came back on.

I immediately told everyone to take off their shoes and go sit in front of the TV. I got the kids set up with some quality programming, made a pot of coffee, cleaned the kitchen, started the dishwasher and stripped our bed to get the laundry going (I had found children's snot caked onto my duvet cover earlier in the morning).

So yes, it is super lame that I parked the kids in front of the TV just as we were about to go play, but I did redeem myself. After the show ended and I was up to speed on all my basic chores, we put those shoes back on and went to the park for an hour. And that was how we got through our Saturday morning. Let's see how the afternoon goes.

Crazy Heat

2011-06-02T14:29:00.000-04:00

Today we got a break from the insane onslaught of excessive heat and humidity we've been experiencing here in DC. It was record breaking and suffocating and I am thrilled to report that it now seems to have moved on.

I think things tend to get a little crazy when it's severely hot outside. People just can't keep it together and all the basics are no longer so basic.

In the past 48 hours, I have seen a few of my newly planted flowers die (yes--from lack of water), brought both kids to the ER to have the little guy's eye area examined after a funky bug bite, and been hit by a car at a stop sign on the way to pick the babe up at yoga. All this, and the little guy got up at 5:30 am today. Needless to say I'd like to run off to the Bahamas now, alone.

Luckily I have a few other flowers which have survived, the car's bumper got a bit more banged up but no one was hurt, and the little guy was not diagnosed with cellulitis or any other funky infection thing.

The heat wave has subsided and hopefully our temporary state of chaos has come to an end.

Has anyone else out there been having a weird week?

In the Garden

2011-05-31T14:17:00.000-04:00

I'll admit it. I was being a slacker. I knew I wanted a veggie garden at our new house, I just didn't feel like digging one out and going through all the steps to make it happen. I kept putting it off and putting it off thinking that if I waited long enough, it may just magically happen.

Last Friday my husband passed a comment that it looked as though we weren't going to have a garden this year. My heart sunk. I didn't say anything, but I decided then and there I was going to make it happen.

After dropping the babe off at school, the little guy and I went to the garden center and stocked up on compost/soil stuff, some flowers for the empty pots on the deck, and some tomato, cucumber and potato plants. I felt like I was on a roll.

I got home and managed to get all the flowers planted in the pots, and dug out a patch of grass/soil to create a garden. When my husband got home that night, I was openly bragging about all the hard work I had done. The hard work actually turned out to be yesterday.

Despite the insane heat, the four of us spent a good chunk of the morning and the late afternoon working in our yard. We finished digging out the garden, added all the compost stuff, and planted all our veggies. We got rid of a bunch of ugly bushes beneath our dining room windows and in the process realized it would be the perfect place to throw in some more veggies, so why not have 2 gardens? Only time will tell if this approach was a tad overambitious.

The kids were helpful with the planting and watering steps, but not so helpful with the digging. No surprises there. They spent a majority of the time spraying each other silly with the garden hose (I realized we don't own a sprinkler!).

It felt good to work as a family and get so much done, together. I am excited we now have a garden to love, and that the kids will be eating more veggies this summer, because they helped make them. I'm also glad I got off my butt because having a family project will be good for all of us this summer.

Next step is to buy some more veggie plants for the second garden. Perhaps eggplant and peppers? I'll post some photos soon!

A Helping Hand

2011-05-31T13:49:00.000-04:00

I am all about getting my kids to help clean the house. They love being involved and I love the idea that they are learning skills that will help our home operate smoothly over the years to come.

Last week my son decided to take on a cleaning mission, solo. It was technically nap time, so his mission was supposed to be sleeping in his big boy bed. Sadly he wasn't so interested in the whole nap time scene. He was apparently more into the cleaning the bathroom scene.

I heard his little feet pitter patter over my head and realized he was in the wrong section of the house. Whenever I hear the kids in our room I tend to intervene quickly. I ran up the steps to find the little guy standing in the hallway saying, "water, water."

He led me down the hall to our bathroom where I found that he had been cleaning the walls and floors with the toilet brush, using the toilet bowl water as his "cleaning" fluid. I was pretty zonked out that day and had been hoping to get a few basic things done during "nap time." Cleaning toilet water off the walls and floors of the master bathroom had not been on my agenda.

While trying to hold it together, I walked him to the sink, washed his hands, and then walked him to his room, where I changed his clothes. I deposited him in bed, again, and called my husband to whine. After I pulled it together and got over my pity party, I cleaned up the toilet water and disinfected everything.

I probably should have gotten him involved in the clean up but was not in a head space where I could turn the situation into a "teachable" moment.

He never did take his nap, but I did learn to close our bathroom door at nap time.

What the Heck?

2011-05-25T14:56:00.000-04:00

It seems as though the little guy is a bit of a scaredy cat (don't tell him I said that). He is not a very deep sleeper and is still waking at night quite frequently. I think we are dealing with the aftermath of moving him from the crib into a big boy bed. Last night took the cake, though. We were up and down from about 2 to 4 am which was not very cool. Needless to say I am a complete space cadet today.

I wish the little guy could understand that there's no such thing as monsters, but I suppose it's one of those things in life you just have to learn for yourself. I talk to him, sing him songs, make sure his diaper is acceptable and tuck him in. Sadly, this scenario played out about 5 times last night. Both my husband and I were having flashbacks of the desperate feelings you can experience parenting a newborn through the long nights.

I know I could be tougher on him, but the kid is scared and I don't want him to feel abandoned when he really needs me. When he wakes up screaming, I want to comfort him. When he shows up beside my bed saying "Mama, I'm scared," I want to take his hand and help him confront his fears. But I also really, really want to sleep uninterrupted. I am hoping this is a phase that will quickly pass as he gets more comfortable in his big boy bed. How long can you believe in monsters, anyway?

In other news, the babe came up with some more "wise" words last night. I had them both in the bath for a hair washing fiesta and was hoping we could maintain a "fun" atmosphere. Things quickly deteriorated when the babe started screaming at me that I wasn't washing her hair "right." At one point she whipped out a "What the heck?" My husband and I stopped and looked at each other with slightly shocked and bemused faces and just rolled with it. Neither of us knew what to do and we were both too tired to think something up on the spot. Hopefully by not paying attention to it, we taught her she won't get more attention by using colorful language. Although I do think it may be helpful for my husband and I to prepare an action plan we can have ready to go the next time we hear something crazy come out of the babe's little mouth.

More Words of Wisdom

2011-05-24T13:51:00.000-04:00

We had a great weekend. We really, really did (don't look so surprised!). It was so nice to just enjoy being a family and have things go well. I'm not sure exactly how we accomplished the smooth sailing we all experienced, but I'd like to copy it, if I can figure out what the secret to our success actually was (having a full agenda, perhaps?).

On Sunday night we piled into the car and drove out to the Outback Steakhouse for a rare family restaurant meal. You may recall that this is about the only restaurant we go to with the kids because they handle the babe's food allergies so well. It's loud, family oriented and fast which makes it a perfect fit for us. Sunday was another reassuring reminder that we can actually dine in public like other "normal" families.

While all the little guy consumed was fries and orange juice, the babe was awesome and pretty much ate everything on her plate. She tried every vegetable and decided she wasn't going to eat the squash, which we said was fine. My husband and I complemented her on what a great job she did eating and she apologized that she didn't want to eat the squash. We told her that it's fine to not eat something if you've tried it.

Then she made her super wise comment: "You can't taste with your eyes!"

How true is that? The girl knows you cannot judge food without putting it in your mouth first! I feel like we took a huge step forward with that one comment and I left the restaurant feeling positive and empowered (and really, really full). Kids really can have the most insightful thoughts.

Screen Time

2011-05-23T14:30:00.000-04:00

As a dedicated parent, I understand that I need to limit and control screen time. Luckily my kids are at an age where "screen time" means TV, not all the other gadgets available these days (I sound old right now, don't I?). Honestly, as a Stay-at-Home-Mama, I do not know where I would be without our precious screen time.

I generally like to follow the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics: no more than 2 hours of quality programming per day. I also tend to break those 2 hours up strategically so I can get through the day myself. I do not beat myself up when I turn on the TV. I find it a practical way for my kids to chill out a bit and for me to get some vital work done (like cooking food that we can all eat).

I recently came across What to Watch: The Best Children's Television by Darienne Hosley Stewart at Babycenter.com's site. It is worth taking a look at to see if there's any shows you could rotate into your viewing schedule (if you have one, that is). I like that there's a little summary of the series you can review before giving the show a try.

We recently set our DVR to tape Dinosaur Train (PBS) and WordWorld (PBS). I cannot tell you how much my kids dig these shows. They LOVE them, and because they LOVE them, so do I. I love feeling like they're actually learning stuff while they sit in front of the TV. It makes me feel good about my parenting, because let's admit it, there's a lot these shows can teach that I can't (I am not a dinosaur expert in any way, shape or form). And frankly, there's a lot I can get done while they're watching and learning that I can't get done if the TV is not on.

A word of warning, the theme song for Dinosaur Train is extremely catchy. You may find yourself singing it at odd times of the day when there are no children present.

Telling the Truth

2011-05-21T14:42:00.000-04:00

I caught my daughter red handed.

She got into the car last Thursday afternoon and proceeded to play with a bunch of small orange beads as we drove home. I asked her where they had come from. I obviously knew they had come from school, since that was where I had just picked her up, but I wanted to see what kind of story she would spin for me. The fact she had them in her shoe was a tip off.

She started off strong and said she had gotten them at school. I then asked her why she had them and what she was supposed to do with them. Was it some kind of "homework"? She dodged the question and mumbled some gobbledygook to me. I asked if she was allowed to bring them home and she mumbled yes. As I wasn't satisfied with her answers, I asked again what she was supposed to be doing with the beads. She finally admitted she wasn't supposed to take them home at all.

AHA! Gotcha! (I did not say this out loud)

When we arrived at our place, we collected all the beads that had spilled everywhere, put them in a zip lock bag and put them in the back of her lunch box. I told her we were going to have to return them to her teacher and explain what had happened. The babe wasn't happy about that. She looked down, ashamed and with a slightly frightened look on her face, said, "do I have to?"

I've decided I am not going to mess around with this taking things that don't belong to you stuff. So I explained that if we take things we're not supposed to, we have to bring them back and apologize.

So Friday morning rolls around and we walked up to the Head teacher. I gave a little briefing on the situation and let the babe take over. She looked quite sheepish and said she was sorry. She proceeded to listen to her teacher remind her of their previous discussions about thinking through our actions and using our brain to make the right decision.

It was monumental. The babe, I think, learnt an important lesson. And rather than letting this just slide, I'm glad I held her accountable. Perhaps this lesson will help guide future behavior, perhaps not. Regardless, I did what I could do and have now made it through another "first."

Of Note This Week

2011-05-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

I'll start on the heavier side of things.

I don't want you to think the only thing I read is the Wall Street Journal. My husband has a subscription and I end up reading the Personal Journal section quite frequently. Apparently the Journal is all about mental healthy lately. This past Tuesday, May 17th, they published an article by Melinda Beck, Helping Kids Beat Depression...by Treating Mom.

Again, I think this one is worth having a look at (check out the powerful image of the Mother's tear drop falling on the child who has her own mini tear drop--yikes).

As a Mother, I am always looking at external influences that may negatively impact my child. If one of the kids is acting funky, I start wondering what may be throwing them off base. Did they watch too much TV? Did something happen at school/the park/an activity? Did they eat enough? Have they slept enough? The list goes on. We always assume if things aren't working out in our family, it's because of the kids. Yet parents' state of mind is just as critical.

This article sheds some light on the fact that many Moms are depressed and that depression affects the kids in numerous negative ways (anxiety, easily irritated, disruptive). So while we are obsessing over why our kids may be out of line, we might want to take a look at ourselves and see how we're doing. Because wouldn't it be cool if helping ourselves really did help those around us (who happen to be the ones we love the most in the whole wide world)?

Now for the lighter side.

In the Washington Post Express paper, which I pick up for free in the morning outside the babe's school, there was an article on a new book which is making news. Yet it hasn't even been released yet.

It's called "Go the F*** to Sleep" by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. It apparently captures the many feelings parents experience while putting a child to sleep who doesn't want to go to sleep. It is, of course, a spoof, but a spoof on a very relevant topic. I didn't actually know you could write a book like this! There are so many annoying little things about parenting that deserve similar treatment. Perhaps this is the new wave of parenting books...a way to help us all laugh about how ridiculous so much of parenting can be. I'm looking forward to checking it out.

Sleep, Please?

2011-05-15T13:53:00.000-04:00

As you may recall, we did a big bed switcheroo about 2 weeks ago. I am writing to tell you that things have not gotten any better with the little guy and I am exhausted. I am starting to live in a constant state of fog, am dropping things and generally becoming crankier and less coordinated. This is mostly due to the fact that our son is getting up many times each night crying and wandering into our room saying he's scared.

I don't know what it was about the crib, but apparently he really felt safe in there. Something about taking the bars down has unsettled him and I need to figure out how to make this situation better--for all of us.

I am tempted to re-build the crib and park it back in his room, but I think that may be sending the wrong message. What we need to do is convince him that he is safe and sound in his toddler bed in his very snuggly room.

We've got the nightlight, the sound of the waves, and the aquarium with music at the end of his bed. He's always got all his pacifiers which has become a necessary part of bedtime for him. I read books. I sing lullabies. I kiss his sweet forehead and tell him to "fait nice do do" (something my French Canadian Grandmother used to say to us). What else is there for us to do?

Any ideas you may have are more than welcome. How do we get the little guy to go back to his healthy naps and restful evening slumber??

Parenting Pointers

2011-05-15T09:56:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I was having a hard time remembering all the things I'm supposed to be doing to be an awesome Mom. So I jotted down some bullet points from my parenting classes and taped them up on the kitchen wall. I meant to share them here for Mother's Day, but was too busy having an awesome time by myself at the outlet mall (thanks to my husband for allowing me to take off for 7 hours--the best Mother's Day present I could have asked for!).

I hope some (or all) of the following points are helpful:

Remember:

Be a role model
Act more and talk less
Love the kids when they least deserve it because that's when they need it the most
Appreciate and acknowledge effort
Kids love being useful so put them to work
Be firm but friendly
Ask kids for their ideas
Make time to play
Set the stage for success
Actively listen to them
Mistakes are OK--it's how we learn
Connection then correction
Encourage, encourage. Not praise, praise.
Explain "when...then..." For instance, "when you finish cleaning your room, then we can go to the park."
Set limits and don't back down under pressure
Train kids so they can be involved. Teach them responsibility
Use a timer (like setting your cell phone alarm to go off when it's time to leave the park)
Use reverse psychology
Be more playful--make a joke to diffuse the tension
Respect each other
Let kids make choices
Explain "either...or..." For instance, "either you wear the blue sweater or the green one. Your choice."
Discipline, not punishment
Be more specific so they can replicate the action in the future. For instance, "I noticed that..."
Focus on the process, not the final product
See things from their point of view and recognize their feelings
Smiles, hugs, and kisses go a long way
Stand back and don't rush in to rescue them
Don't hold a grudge
Simplify the kids environment
Set realistic expectations
Plan ahead so things can go smoothly
Allow kids to experience the natural consequences of their actions
Redirect attention
Allow time for transitions
Anticipate and prepare for difficult situations
Stick to the routine
Do not blow your stack when kids try to engage you in a battle--lead by example
Have the courage to be imperfect

I'd like to thank to Parent Encouragement Program in Kensington, Maryland for helping me realize the benefits of every single one of the above bullet points. While it is impossible to do all these things at once, it sometimes helps to work on a few things every week. I'm told that eventually it becomes second nature, although I am still eagerly anticipating that day. Until then, I'll just keep trying.

Growing Into Parenthood

2011-05-13T14:14:00.000-04:00

I recently mentioned an article I had read about pre-baby marriage counseling to a dear friend who just had her second baby. She just happens to be a counselor herself and is interested in training to provide this kind of counseling.

You should check out this April 28, 2011 Wall Street Journal article, So Cute, So Hard on A Marriage, by Andrea Petersen. It is interesting reading and makes a lot of valid points. People don't know how stressful having a baby can be until they do it themselves. Partners also don't understand the kind of pressures and stresses having children can put on their marriage. So the idea of getting some pre-baby therapy could be pretty darn helpful for folks, I'd think.

I somehow managed to stumble upon the May 4th follow-up Letters to the Editor (I am not that dedicated of a reader). I found it amusing and disturbing that it was under the heading "Relax and Accept Parenthood Joyfully." Well of course we all want to relax and accept parenthood joyfully, but when it comes down to it, there is a lot of work that needs to be done which makes relaxing rather difficult, and there are many times when joy isn't exactly the emotion we are relating to.

From the tone of the letters, I am guessing they were mostly written by folks who have grown children and who have forgotten how demanding being a parent of young kids can be. The letters unfortunately appear to be anti-therapy and rather traditional in mindset. However, one particular letter from Sue Cuthbertson of Yucaipa, California, really stuck with me: "It takes time to grow into parenthood. Take a deep breath, don't expect a bed of roses, and love each other, remembering that love is an act of will. Then, when your children reach adulthood, you can exhale together and pat each other on the back for a job well done."

I thank Ms. Cuthbertson for drawing attention to the simple truth that it does take time to grow into parenthood, and I imagine we all do it on different time lines. Perhaps this is another factor which influences how successful marriages will be in navigating the ups and downs of life with kids.

All in all, I've always thought that people generally don't speak openly about difficult subjects (like having babies). There is an important distinction which is often overlooked; just because you acknowledge the difficulties of parenting, it does not mean you are not grateful to be a parent. I think if folks are wise enough to get a bit of advance training, it will only help them on their journey.

This one is for my sweet friend, K, over at A Mama Being.

Grocery Shoppin' Ladies

2011-05-12T14:13:00.000-04:00

Last week in the parking lot of the grocery store, a woman gave me a kind look as I struggled to get the little guy into his car seat. I surfaced for air and she nodded and said "I remember those days. I used to ask myself, who are these people, and why are they torturing me?" I laughed. Then she told me her kids were now in their thirties and had kids of their own. "I don't know where the time went," she said.

I had had a rough morning and her comments help put it all in perspective.

Today the little guy and I were at another grocery store. He had been acting spazzy, but nothing dramatic or over the top. If you have little kids, I'm sure you're familiar with the art of drowning out the noise while you fill up your grocery cart.

All of a sudden a woman whips around and yells harshly in my sons face, "BE QUIET!!!!!!!" I jumped as the whole thing took me by such surprise. I stared at her, blood pumping through my veins, "DO NOT SPEAK TO MY CHILD THAT WAY!" Everyone in the aisle stopped and stared at the spectacle. Crazy lady and I went back and forth with harsh words about 3 times before I walked off in a state of shock. I couldn't believe I wanted to have a throw down with an old lady at Superfresh. After I told the cashier what had happened, she agreed that I had every right to beat her up (she too was a mother of a young child).

I have never seen anything like this occur before, so I'm unclear how I should have handled it. Frankly, the woman deserved at least a slap across the face--who yells at a 2 year old they don't even know? But that's not really the lesson I want to teach my son. As we made our escape from the crazy lady, the little guy said, "That lady mad. That lady mad." Indeed my dear son, that lady mad.

Revelations

2011-05-09T14:57:00.001-04:00

I'd like to admit something. Last week I was having a bit of a crisis. I was seriously questioning how much longer I was going to last as a stay-at-home Mama. I was feeling really heavy about it all and I was hoping the right answer would fall in my lap. As we know, life doesn't usually work like that.

As I struggled with all my whirling thoughts, I carried on with all my stay-at-home Mama duties.

On Cinco de Mayo, I decided to run off to the drug store to buy some nacho chips the babe could eat as she was allergic to some of the ingredients in the chips they had available in her class. I didn't want my little girl to be stuck with guacamole and no chips to eat at her class party. I was so happy to be able to do this simple thing for her and realized that I would not have been able to do it if I was late for the office. One of the babe's teachers, after realizing I had run to the store, said, "You're such a great Mom!" I'll admit that was very nice to hear.

On Friday morning the little guy and I got to hang out in the babe's class for a few hours as the babe's classmates took turns reading to me. Not only did I get to dive into my daughter's world, but I was reminded how different each child is and how behaviors and abilities cannot be compared. There is no "normal" when it comes to kids and I realized I need to lower my expectations of my 4 year old on a number of fronts (like sitting still at the table). Again, you can't do this kind of thing if you need to be at the office.

This brings me to a comment made by a Father of one of the students at the babe's school. He is always dressed casually and seems so happy (even though he appears to be chronically late). He never seems rushed and is always calm and loving towards his son. We had a little chat as we left the school together one morning. I asked him if he worked from home (being the nosy person I am). He told me he had an office but did most of his work from his home office. Then he made a comment which really stuck with me: "Nothing like being self employed."

I couldn't stop thinking about his words and I had a revelation of sorts. I want to be around to run my home and support my kids. I do not want to outsource my family and all the work that goes with it (please understand I mean no judgment on those who follow a different game plan!). But I do want something that will allow me to engage with the world in a different way. For some time I have been pondering what I want to be when I grow up. While there are many paths I could chose that would be fascinating, the one thing I am committed to is being an awesome Mom and Wife (work in progress).

But when it comes down to it, I also want to write. I realize that by announcing these intentions I am making a bit of a commitment to actually follow through, but I am going to start taking some baby steps. I am hopeful that moving forward with this idea will allow me to grow into a new part of my life.

Funny this should all happen in the week leading up to Mother's Day, no? So from now on, I am going to stop all my questioning, embrace the craziness and awesomeness of being a stay-at-home Mama and start brainstorming (ideas welcome).

Her Words

2011-05-06T14:57:00.000-04:00

Perhaps I got my Mother's Day present early this year.

This morning as the babe, the little guy and I were driving to school, my daughter and I were having a discussion about all the work we do around our house and how we can try and get out the door more quickly in the morning. I was flustered as my children hadn't been listening to me when it came time to head to the door and put shoes and sweaters on. I was blathering on about being late, again.

I then proceeded onto the topic of how the babe can help us so things can move along a little smoother in the morning. The conversation then moved into discussing how my husband, otherwise known as "Papa," works hard so we can have food, clothes, and a home. The babe then chimed in, "Yeah, Mama. And you do all the work except going to work." And yes, by going to "work," my sweet girl meant "the office."

I went from being strung out and flustered to melting in one second flat. How insanely beautiful is that? I did not plant the seed so she could deliver a line like that. She did it all on her own.

And for the first time this week, I felt really appreciated, if only for a minute. It's almost as if she knew how badly I needed to hear that. Because being a Mama is hard. And it is moments like those where I stop questioning whether or not I am doing the right thing by being a stay-at-home-Mama right now. And that clarity, however brief, will hopefully fuel me until the next kind word, gesture or acknowledgement comes my way.

Hopefully I will be able to compose a reflectinve and inspiring post for Mother's Day this Sunday, but in case I don't, I leave you with this:

To all you great Moms out there who take care of business, Happy Mother's Day.

Our House

2011-05-06T14:36:00.000-04:00

I obsessed over finding a house of our own for some time. It's now been 7 months since we moved in and while there have been some challenges, I am always thrilled to walk through our front door and be "home."

Over Easter, our new house had the chance to show off a bit. My parents, sister, brother and sister-no-law came down from Canada for a visit. Our house got to hold 9 of us over several days of eating, drinking, playing and generally having a lovely time.

It was the first time I have been able to have my whole family together in my own home, and it felt so nice. I now frequently remind myself of my Dad's kind words: "You have arrived."

So thanks to my family and thanks to my house. I love you all.

The Big Bed

2011-05-06T14:19:00.000-04:00

It's been 7 days. Last Friday night the babe moved into a "big girl bed" with a twin size mattress and her Aunt's old teak bed frame. Getting the frame here from Canada was a bit of a "to do" as they say, but I now realize how special it is that the babe is sleeping in the bed her Aunt once slept in as a girl.

My daughter was just seeming rather large for her toddler bed. She was slightly crammed in there, and while she might have felt a sense of security, she has shown no sadness in passing along her bed to her little brother. The babe is now perched remarkably high from the ground as I seemed to have bought a massive mattress, but she is confident when she climbs in and hasn't fallen out once (so far). Just in case, I have a few big pillows placed strategically around the bed.  Every day my babe continues to become a "big" girl.  I am relieved she embraces these changes wholeheartedly. I try to do the same.

The little guy hasn't had such a smooth transition. We thought he was ready to move beyond the crib. He was easily unzipping himself from his sleep sack in the morning so we thought it was just a matter of time before he was climbing over the edge like his sister had once done. It hadn't happened yet, but it was just a matter of time. So we decided that the little guy would get his "new" bed the same day his sister got hers. A natural progression of sorts.

We got both beds set up simultaneously and did a big presentation of the new sleeping arrangements with both kids. I think the little guy was more excited about the babe's bed and kept screaming and crying saying it was his bed. Not the most positive reaction.

Things have gone OK with night time sleeps, with a few bumps and tears along the way. But our nap time has been a bit of a drama. The babe is usually at school when the little guy naps. He has always been a great day time napper and never made an issue of me tucking him in for a nap in his old crib. Apparently tucking him into a toddler bed is a very different thing in his head. I have spent hours this week walking up the stairs and delivering him back to his new bed. He proceeds to get back up and cry at the gate at the top of the stairs.  I knew we were losing the control the crib had brought us, but I guess I didn't realize how determined he would be. I am proud that I have generally kept my cool with the situation as I know he is having a tough time with this transition, but I am hoping within a few more days things will go back to the way they used to be. Nap time is a precious time for me as well.

Now on to my feelings (because you want to know, right?). I took pictures as we moved beds, set up new beds and took apart the crib. We have had just one crib in use since the babe was born almost 4.5 years ago. I am extremely attached to the crib and am sad to see it go up to the attic. I am not so sad that I want to have another baby, but I am sad enough that I had to make a note of it here. My babies are growing up and that is what I wanted. It still tugs on my heart strings to say good bye to a piece of furniture that has played such a big role in our lives for the past few years. To watch my children go from looking so itty bitty and helpless in the crib to so big that I think they are going to climb over the edge has been quite a journey.  Saying good bye to the co-sleeper was hard. Saying good bye to the crib is harder. Perhaps I am more sentimental than I thought.

Tid Bits

2011-05-04T14:23:00.000-04:00

It's been a while. And there has been a lot going on. And really, you're used to my excuses, aren't you?

There's just a couple very sweet tid bits I wanted to get out there before they are forgotten.

A few weeks ago I was dropping the babe off at school with the little guy in tow (as usual). We headed over to the elevator, which we do on days when the stairs are particularly busy and I am particularly impatient. As the babe went to press the "UP" button, she casually remarked how cool it was that they had moved the buttons down and it was easier for her to press them. I clued in to what she was saying and replied that in fact, it was she that was growing taller and was now able to hit the "UP" button without being lifted or having to drag over the "mini" steps from the water fountain. This was a morning interaction that warmed me up inside and put a huge smile on both our faces.

Another tid bit. The little guy and I were in the kitchen when he walked over to the coffee pot, pointed at it and said, "I need coffee? I need it." Again, I could do nothing but smile and reply that he didn't yet "need" the coffee, but one day he may enjoy it, just like his Mama. I suppose that's what I get for sticking bags of ground coffee beans under my kids noses all the time.

Eat Your Peas, Please

2011-04-19T14:33:00.001-04:00

I would just like to brag about the fact that I got both my kids to eat peas.

On Sunday morning I whipped up some muffins and smoothies before I ran off to brunch with a friend.

I was out of bananas so was trying to compensate for that in the smoothie planning process.

Guess what I did? That's right. I decided to throw in some frozen peas to thicken the smoothie up a bit. The crazy thing is...they both liked it! HA HA HA!

In the end, the concoction included:

blueberries
strawberries
mango
peas
soy milk
orange juice

Even my husband liked it. Now that's saying something. In fact, he said it was better than my "normal" smoothies.

I really want to explore more of this whole "sneaking" veggies in thing. It is a common struggle for most Mamas, and I think there's something to be said for secretly getting them the nutrients they need. What they don't know won't hurt them. That said, I will keep putting real veggies in front of them so they slowly understand that I'm not giving up.

Feel free to share any sneaky tricks you have!

Just For the Record

2011-04-16T20:54:00.000-04:00

Since we're talking about monumental firsts, I just wanted to share that the babe almost mastered the art of tying shoe laces today and the little guy had his first poop on the potty. And guess what? These things were occurring simultaneously on different floors of our house this afternoon. The babe and her Papa downstairs and the little guy and I upstairs. How cool is that?

The babe and I got up early and hauled ourselves to the mall to go to a "shoe tying class." I honestly thought this would teach both the babe and I some handy tips ( I had, after all, given up my coveted sleep in morning). But it turns out those department store guys don't know much more than I do about teaching kids this tricky skill.

What it did do is inspire the babe and help us take the training a few steps further at home. As you may recall, the babe is easily frustrated and is not a fan of not "getting" things the first time she tries. This means that we, her father and I, need to be insanely patient when tackling new projects with her. And I am thrilled to announce that all the patience, and the tag team parental effort, brought us pretty darn close to solidifying this critical skill. I am sure a good nights sleep will help her internalize the magic of tying laces.

So while the babe and her Papa were working away in the living room, the little guy and I were just hanging out...and apparently he was busy having a big poop. So I hauled him upstairs to change him. Not to get too detailed, but before I slapped on the new diaper, I asked him if he was all done with his poops. He said, "No. Potty." I didn't question his directions and carried him over to the potty. Within 30 seconds he had pushed out the last bit of remaining poop as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Needless to say, I was pretty psyched. I cleaned him up, we washed our hands and went back for that clean diaper. The little guy was pretty thrilled to announce to his Papa what he had accomplished on his trip upstairs. He kept hugging my husband and my heart melted.

Some days it seems like we're not really going anywhere or accomplishing anything. Other days it seems like my munchkins' childhood is speeding by. It's a good thing there's a bit of balance, though. Because days like this make up for a lot of the crap.

Enter Reading

2011-04-07T14:51:00.000-04:00

Last Friday I went to the babe's class to read with the kids. The first time I did this last fall, I thought I'd be reading stories to the class. But I had it the wrong way around. The kids read stories to me.

It is quite amazing to have these little people read to you. Something I have taken for granted for so long is a huge challenge for my daughter and her classmates. I can't really remember learning to read but sitting with kids who are reading for the first time is an amazing thing. You can see their brains working overtime as they sound things out and put letters together.

As the babe is in a Montessori school, kids learn at their own pace. I highly support this approach, but I was a tad concerned after leaving the babe's class last Friday as she had not hit the phase in her education where the teachers thought she was ready to sit down with a beginner book. We all know it's not good to compare your children to others, but I was left wondering what was wrong with the babe? How come some of her classmates, who are the same age, are already "reading" at school and she isn't?

Timing is a funny thing. On Tuesday I picked the babe up and guess what she excitedly announced? "Mama! Miss. Faye rang the bell and announced to the whole class that I was ready to read my first book! I got to sit with her and read Dot!"

Not only did she get to read Dot at school, she brought it home to read it to us as well. It was a beautiful thing and I was so ridiculously proud.

The fun didn't end with Dot. Yesterday the babe got to read Sam. And yet again, she brought her new book home to read to us. After working through the newly formed habit of relying heavily on pictures to read (more like remember) the words, the babe proved to us that she was able to get through the whole book without looking at any of the pictures.

So here we go on a brand new adventure. My daughter, who was just a 4 month old baby only 4 years ago, is starting to read. It's amazing what can happen in such a short time.

Getting Involved

2011-04-04T14:41:00.000-04:00

My parenting class has made me realize the importance of getting the babe involved in projects around the house. At first I resisted this brilliant piece of advice due to the fact that getting the babe involved meant that projects took much, much longer. The more I resisted letting her "help," the more I found that I was dealing with misbehavior and general trouble making by not giving her the opportunity to contribute.

I now realize I was making a HUGE mistake. My desire to get things done quicker, was in fact hurting her self esteem and creating a situation where she would act out just to get attention. By not getting her involved, I was sending her a message that she didn't have the skills required to contribute. And what kind of lesson is that for a parent to teach to their kid?

So how does that connect to the picture of my bandaged finger?

On Friday afternoon I asked the babe if she'd like to help me prepare some eggplant for dinner. I've been trying to introduce more vegetables to the kiddies and have read that if children are involved in the prep work, they are more likely to eat the end product.

So we got out the cutting board and moved her stool over to the counter after washing our hands. She was pretty psyched to help out and I was curious to see if she'd end up digging this funky purple vegetable. I was also in a bit of a rush as we had been at the park and I wanted to get the eggplant roasted in time for dinner.

The babe has a habit of setting up her stool in a location which kind of pushes me into the corner. As I was conscious of the time, I didn't bother repositioning her. Meanwhile the little guy, who isn't so much of a kitchen helper at this point, was just running around and repeatedly banging into us. Things were moving along well until SLICE.

Yes folks, I had sliced into the tip of my ring finger. It was a good healthy slice which luckily stopped before the whole tip of the finger had been removed. It was, however, a serious cut which proceeded to bleed profusely for at least half an hour. I panicked and completely lost my marbles. I was having a serious crying fit while trying to explain to the babe that I was, despite how I was acting, quite fine.

After deciding against going to the ER in rush hour with 2 kids, I decided to buck up. I taped on some paper towels and continued on with feeding the kids, drinking some wine, and cleaning up the kitchen (in that order).

So the moral of today's story is not to rush when getting your kids involved in projects. As parents we want to teach our children the right way to handle things, and I'm afraid I didn't do such a good job of that on Friday! And by the way, she didn't like the eggplant.

Two Stories and Three Little Birds

2011-04-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

One of today's stories is gross and made me smile. The other story is sweet and made me smile.

I'll start with the gross one.

My husband has been working late a lot recently which has meant that I'm on bath/bed time duty solo. I can usually handle it due to my nightly practice of working on regaining a positive attitude as I clean the kitchen after dinner chaos and the kids watch a little chill out TV.

So last night was a solo night and I had the babe agree that she was going to be my "helper." This usually means she will be less likely to compete with her brother for the title of most crazed and annoyingly behaved bath time kid. As I was getting things ready, I realized that the little guy wasn't playing with his sister, as I had thought. I went searching and quickly discovered that he was in our bedroom. I ran in and found the bathroom door closed. I opened it and found the toilet room door (or whatever people call it) closed. I opened it. Guess what I found?

My son standing proudly with the toilet cleaner brush up by his nose and mouth. I don't want to know what this kid was doing with the toilet brush...I just want to pretend it didn't happen. I dragged him to the sink and gave his hands and face a good wash while repeating to myself, "gross.....gross....gross."

I managed to get them both in the bath and things went fairly smoothly for about a minute until the little guy decided it was splashing time. So I got them both washed up quickly and got the babe standing to do the big rinse off. The little guy started whining and the babe looked at him and started singing, "Don't worry, about a thing." Then I kicked in, "Cause every little thing, is gonna be alright."

She looked at me stunned. As in, "how would my Mama know anything about this music?" I asked her where she had heard the song. "Miss Mary's room," she replied. "Do you know that's Bob Marley, sweetie?" I asked. She wasn't aware of the man who made this song famous, what he stood for, or what this song has meant to me in the past. But I tell ya, I just thought it was so cool that my 4 year old daughter just whipped out some classic Bob Marley in an attempt to make her brother happy.

In honour of the wise man, and to put a spring in your step this Friday afternoon, I present Bob Marley's Three Little Birds:

Don't worry about a thing,

cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: don't worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)

Singin: don't worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: don't worry (don't worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:

Singin: don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. don't worry!
Singin: don't worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.

Singin: don't worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: don't worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: don't worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Catching Up

2011-03-30T14:54:00.000-04:00

The babe was home from school for 11 days straight. And you know what? We made it!

Spring break is a wonderful concept, but it has the ability to really mess with your schedule. Luckily my amazing Mom flew down from Ottawa and helped take care of the kids, the house, and me.

In the week she was here, we managed to take the kids to the National Museum of Natural History (LOVE IT!), the National Building Museum (not a whole lot of love for this one), Costco, the shoe store, and the park (numerous times). In addition, I managed to take myself to the dentist (yuck and ouch), for a (Groupon inspired) massage (yum), for a baseline mammogram (it wasn't that bad and I'm gratefully in the clear), and on a variety of solo shopping quests (yes, shopping for just moi). Oh, and I managed to go on a dinner date with my Mom, and ANOTHER dinner date with my husband. Not too shabby!

I also spent six hours with the babe at the allergist's office doing her second "food challenge," this time with sesame. She slowly ate measured pieces of bread with fake cream cheese and sesame seeds over a period of a few hours. And I am so pleased to announce that she passed her sesame challenge and is officially able to enjoy sesame in whatever she pleases (bring on the hummus!). This is super good news because she has now outgrown 2 of her allergies (the first was egg, which we cleared last month). According to her doctor, things look good for outgrowing the majority of the remaining ones (although the babe will likely have to live with her peanut allergy for the rest of her life). I have spent about 17 hours in the same small room at the allergist's office since last month, and every minute has been worth it. I really can't explain how awesome it is to see your kids move beyond a food allergy.

As you can see, it was quite a week here. After all the excitement, it was odd to go back to our old routine on Monday. My Mom had left, the babe headed back to school, and all of a sudden the little guy and I were left staring at each other. Unfortunately his classes don't start up again until next week, so we've been drifting through the days and catching up with fun things like groceries and laundry. I did however take him to the community center gym to run around for an hour this morning...so I'm not as evil as it sounds.

Anyway, I had no real deep message about how I've grown as a parent in the last few weeks, but I did want to let you know I'm still standing...even after 11 days straight with my kiddies.

Perspective

2011-03-15T15:00:00.000-04:00

As part of my positive parenting shift, I have been trying to let go of things I can't control, or that are not worth trying to control. And what I'm learning is that it feel good to let go. It feels liberating to loosen the reigns. And I am now in a position where I am looking for things that I can stop worrying about. One of the things I no longer stress about is my daughter's ridiculous and at times inappropriate fashion sense.

Part of growing up is learning how to dress yourself. I will admit that I was, until recently, pretty controlling in this department with my daughter. I felt I had a better sense of her daily needs and the most recent forecast information. There's just so much about clothing choice that my young child could not grasp, so to keep her her warm (or cool) and dry, I would choose every item she put on.

Eventually we started fighting about what she was going to wear. I still thought I should be making these decisions so I would allow myself to engage in these battles. There's no better way to start off your morning than a screaming match with a preschooler over clothes.

I have now come to my senses. The babe decides what to wear, puts it on, and usually struts into our room to show off her amazing abilities to choose her outfit and cloth herself. It is awesome, and I don't care that she looks like a nut most of the time (and I also don't care about all the put together kids at her school because they probably aren't getting to learn how to be independent and to take care of themselves!).

Sadly I allowed myself to fall into my old ways this morning. She came in with a tank top type dress (with leggings) that her Uncle and Aunt had bought her in Argentina. It is a very stylin' little number, but it is still cool here in DC and I didn't want her runny nose or cough to get worse, so I casually mentioned/suggested that she may be more comfortable if she put a shirt on underneath the dress.

The babe did not like being told what to do and pretty much refused to change. She grabbed a polar fleece and said she'd wear that to keep warm. Trouble is I know she'd take it off the second she was at school and you couldn't even see the cute dress underneath the fleece (which incidentally her Nana had bought for her in Scotland).

I managed to rummage in her dresser and pull out a sparkly T-Shirt she LOVES which had been stuck at the back of the drawer for some time. She immediately agreed and put it on under the dress. Mission accomplished, I thought to myself.

When I dropped her off at her class she immediately walked in and pulled up her dress to show the first kid she saw her very cool T-Shirt. I'll admit it bugged me that she was pulling up her dress as that's not really the kind of thing I want my daughter doing so confidently in public.

I shrugged and turned to leave when I saw a young girl in the hallway one classroom down looking through her cubby. Only thing is, she was looking through her cubby naked from the waist down. Hmmm. Guess there's no point in worrying about the babe showing off her T-Shirt!

At the end of the day, I suppose I just have to keep it all in perspective.

Overanalysis?

2011-03-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

This week I had a moment of panic. Am I over analyzing all this parenting stuff? Am I over thinking every decision and what its potential impact on my children may be? Does it mean that I'm slightly crazy because I'm taking a parenting class? In fact, does it make me even crazier that I have just signed up for the second session of this parenting class?

This was all brought about because I had my annual visit to the OB-GYN doctor. I think my doctor is awesome. She's smart, young, easy to talk to, and always makes you feel better about things (like telling you it's OK you were drinking beer before you knew you were actually pregnant).

But this week, while she reassured me that everything looks good with my body, she didn't reassure me about my parenting. In fact, my doctor's comments made me question myself and the fact that I have pretty much dedicated myself to tackling this positive parenting stuff. I mentioned to her that I was taking this class because I was really struggling with my "spirited" preschooler. She made a few comments about how my daughter was just a normal kid and that it all goes with the territory.

As I have mentioned, I am taking my course work seriously and am really trying to apply what I'm learning in the class room and in my text book to my daily life as a Mom.

I spent a good chunk of time wondering if my doc was right (and I don't like spending good chunks of valuable time questioning myself). I brought this up with my husband, and in explaining the story to him, I came to the realization of why my doc didn't understand what I was talking about. My doctor, as awesome as she is, has not yet become a Mother herself. She has helped many women become Mothers (such as yours truly), but she has never been in the challenging situations in which I find myself daily (she faces much different daily challenges, I'm sure!).

As soon as I came to that realization, the questioning stopped. And that's a good place to be.

In the Kitchen

2011-03-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to share a few "in the kitchen" successes of the past week.

I have been experimenting with making granola bars lately as the babe can't eat store bought ones because of her food allergies. I have always been a fan of the granola bar and thought it would be a nice addition to her lunch box.

This week I created a Chewy Chocolate Chip Banana Granola Bar recipe that I am happy with:

1/2 c. packed brown sugar

1/2 c. butter (non-dairy kind for us)

1/3 c. honey

5 c. granola

1/2 c. whole wheat flour

½ cup chocolate chips (non-dairy kind)

1 mushed up banana

1 beaten egg (because we can do that now!)

½ cup applesauce

In a saucepan combine brown sugar, butter and honey. Bring to boiling, stirring constantly.
Stir together granola and whole wheat flour. Pour brown sugar mixture over granola mixture. Stir until granola mixture is well coated.
Add egg, applesauce and banana. Stir well.
Add chocolate chips. Stir well again.
Press mixture into a greased 13x9x2 inch baking pan.
Bake at 375 for 15 minutes.

It doesn't take long and you can easily add/substitute in raisins, cranberries, nuts, etc. To continue my quest for the perfect "babe friendly" granola bar, I think I will throw in some cinnamon and vanilla next time for additional flavour.
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I tried a new recipe on Tuesday which I was quite a fan of. We do vegetarian dinners on Tuesdays so I am always on the look out for easy and yummy veggie meals. This week I took a magazine recipe and gave it a whirl. You can grab the recipe by clicking here: Chickpeas With Chard and Pan-Roasted Tomatoes.

I should have used the good camera for this shot as you can't really see all the stuff going on in this dish, but it has tomatoes, rainbow chard, raisins, garlic, chickpeas and lemon juice. It was an explosion of a lot of very interesting flavours and I am looking forward to making it again. It has also made me a fan of chard which can only be a good thing.

Feel free to share any great foodie finds from your kitchen and have a great weekend!

The Alarm

2011-03-10T14:56:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think that new ideas from my parenting class will never work in our home. This isn't the best attitude because how do you really know unless you try, right?

So the other day, when it was almost time to leave the park, I asked the babe if it would help if I set the alarm on my phone to go off when it was time to go to the car. I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I'd get as I only pulled this on her about 10 minutes before my desired departure time. She looked at me from mid-swing and said "Sure, Mama."

I fiddled around with the phone until I managed to set the alarm (it was my first time) and I let her choose the ringer sound (a Rooster crowing). I told her it was now set to go off in 10 minutes and when it went off, we were going to have to listen to it.

I highly doubted she would pay any attention when it went off and I was fully expecting a battle over leaving. When we were close to the 10 minutes I took the phone out of my pocket so the alarm would be heard loud and clear. And off it went. Cockadoodledoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked at the babe, smiled and asked her what that meant. She said "It's time to go, Mama."

Amazing.

When someone had suggested I set an alarm at the park during my parenting class this week, I had been laughing at the idea in my head. "The babe will never fall for that," I thought.

Well guess who's laughing now? Yep, still me. I am hoping that I have discovered a new magic way to end our regular battles over leaving the park. The alarm speaks for itself, and I am no longer the bad guy.

OK

2011-03-10T14:41:00.000-05:00

My lovely son is now at an age where he will reply "OK" to me.

I will be busy doing something and he will ask for another thing. If I cannot meet his need I will give a brief explanation as to why he will have to wait, or I will tell him to "please wait a minute."

And for the past few weeks I have been hearing a sweet little "OK" as the response. I have to say it melts my heart. Just like when he started saying "sorry."

He is beginning to understand that these are important words because they involve a true interaction with another human. It's verbal communication and it's awesome.

Honestly, it makes me feel like after 2 years of mostly talking at him, I am now speaking with him. This is a critical development because babies don't do that, and now my little love bug does.

Sweet Explosions

2011-02-23T14:40:00.002-05:00

The little guy in on a roll. The words are flowing out of his mouth so quickly it's like something in his brain has just clicked. He is constantly trying to communicate verbally. He is repeating words after us. He is pointing at things and yelling their names: "big fish, truck, car." Sometimes I'm not even sure where he learnt the words he's saying (like "tower" this morning). I knew the day would come. I knew I had to give him time. And I knew he'd get this whole language thing down, eventually.

The other day, while driving to the store, the little guy kept saying "I play park?" over and over. I kept replying "We're going to buy air filters," over and over. It became a bit of a game repeating our sentences back to each other. But then he one upped me and he threw in a "Please?" He has never said "please" without me asking him to. In fact, it was the very first time that my son independently used the word "please" to try and get what he wants. Honestly, I started laughing. I told him that he, like his sister, would have to learn that saying "please" doesn't always get you what you want. But it was just about the sweetest thing I'd ever heard and I wanted to pull the car over and give him joyous kisses.

I love the verbal explosion. And I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear my little boy speak.

Spirit

2011-02-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

Raising a "spirited child" is the hardest thing I have ever done. It challenges me in ways I never thought possible. This job has the power to thrill me one minute and make me want to hang my head down and cry another minute. Unless the TV is on, I am pretty much fully engaged in attempting to harness the spirit of this little person with multiple personalities.

Lately I have had a few winning moments....but those have come with much thought and effort on my part. All my new positive parenting techniques take so much energy and I am drained by the end of the day. To be more specific, many days I am drained by 9am. But when it works, I am so proud of myself. And I believe, even if only for a moment, that I am getting this thing down. Luckily I have been reassured there is a steep learning curve to this positive parenting stuff, but once you get the hang of it, it makes everything easier.

But then I will slip into my old ways. I can easily be pushed into acting impatient, short, angry and frazzled. I feel myself giving in to the pull of wanting to deal with things in my old ways. And when I give in it feels so good....for a second. Then things go downhill so fast and it is next to impossible to bring it back to a level ground. I imagine this could be similar to how it must feel to be a chronic substance abuser. We all have the best of intentions but can so easily be knocked off our high and mighty perch. The pull to give in is so strong, and the instant gratification is addictive.

I have tried a number of techniques to deal with outbursts and chaos this week. I have taken away the babe's breakfast when she kept eating like a dog and throwing her cereal all over the table and at me. I have taken the babe to the car without her shoes, jacket, hat, mitts or scarf when she refused to get ready for school. I have explained that we don't hit people after she has repeatedly belted me. And I have done these things without yelling and losing my cool. I am just hoping that the way I handle things helps her understand that bad behaviour is not an effective way to get attention. I understand that attention is attention, whether positive or negative.

I have asked my husband if he thinks all this positive parenting stuff is working. He says he thinks it is. But he wonders if we'll have the ability to keep our patience or if she will keep chipping away at us until we give in and return to the old ways for good.

It wasn't looking so good this morning, though. Within a minute of the babe waking us up she was demanding a loli pop in her lunch (after I hugged her and said good morning). I told her she'd have to wait until after school because it wasn't fair to the other kids. She started ranting and yelling at us. This is all literally within 2 minutes of waking up. We tried to handle it as best we could....but we were left feeling like we just have a rotten kid (a horrible thing to think about your own child). It really is just exhausting.

All I can say is that I'm not willing to lose this fight. We will find a way to use her power for good and not evil. I am not going to give up.

The Second Part of the Story

2011-02-16T14:38:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget to tell the whole story (kinda like my daughter). And sometimes I need to be reminded of things (kinda like my daughter). Thankfully my lovely cousin just wrote a great comment on my last post about mistakes.

"I love your stories Chris! Recognize the situation well. I got great advice once from a senior surgeon. He said that it wasn't that the best surgeons didn't make mistakes it was that they didn't freak out and knew how to fix them. Had a thought that you could try to shift the focus from preventing mistakes to how to fix mistakes when they happen. "Hey kiddo, I saw that you spilt some water, how do you think we should fix it?, I can help you...when I spill water I do this..."

After reading her comment, I realized I forgot to share an important part of the story.

Once things were cleared up between the babe and I and she understood that I wasn't upset, we walked to the kitchen together to deal with the water. I handed her some paper towels and asked if she could wipe all the water up. I also mentioned I'd be happy to help if she needed me.

This last part of the story is pretty critical, and I thank my cousin for reminding me of it. After having made it through 3 parenting classes, I really can't say enough about how important it is to empower your kids, and letting them fix their own mistakes is a critical part of doing that. It may take longer, but the end result, I hear, is worth it.

A Few Positive Moments

2011-02-15T15:47:00.000-05:00

Things have been crazy busy around here and I have totally felt like running away on numerous occasions.

But the little happy positive moments keep me from running.

Sunday was rough as my husband had to work. It made for a long "weekend" day with the kids. The babe was in an inexplicable tizzy for part of the day; acting out, talking back, and sometimes even throwing things. It wasn't a good scene.

I was at a point where I wasn't sure how I was going to make it to bed time without turning on the TV for 5 hours straight. I was wandering around wondering what was next on the agenda when I noticed some spots on the wall in the dining room. I grabbed a baby wipe (which I use for just about everything) and went over to scrub at the dirt. The babe noticed that I was up to something, came over, grabbed a baby wipe (after asking if she could help) and started cleaning with me. And guess what we did for the next hour? We bonded and had a grand 'oll time walking around the house cleaning marks off the walls. It was awesome. It was productive. And we both ended up feeling good about ourselves and each other. Next time I'll just have to remember to call her over and get her involved in a more proactive manner.

Another cool moment was over spilt water. So many times I have caught myself about to loose it after a drink is spilt all over the floor. And as I'm learning in my parenting class, even if I think I'm handling the situation well, the kids can usually read my body language and can tell that I'm super annoyed that they spilt something.

The other day the babe had asked if she could get water from the cooler in a glass....not a plastic glass...a "real" glass. I was in a good mood and told her she could try. After she had gotten the water from the cooler I guess I got distracted by the little guy and stopped paying attention to the babe.

When I fianlly went back to the kitchen to check on the babe I narrowly missed walking into a big puddle of water on the floor and realized my daughter was nowhere to be found.

I called after her and asked if she was OK. I didn't get an answer so I continued on to say that I had noticed there was a bunch of water on the floor and that it was OK. "I AM NOT MAD AT YOU, HONEY....IT'S OK," I yelled upstairs. She came down and said "Really, Mama? You're not mad at me?" The poor kid was so distressed over spilling her water that she had taken off upstairs before I had a chance to notice and freak out. She then thanked me for telling her it was OK; and I have to tell you, it felt so good to hear that.

So yes, I patted myself on the back for a job well done. But I also realized that I need to LOOSEN UP a bit if running away from the crime scene was her initial reaction (like Mama like daughter!).

Kids make mistakes. Parents make mistakes. And I'm working on drawing attention to my mistakes so the babe knows it's OK to make them. I'm also trying to not jump down her throat when she happens to make them. We're not perfect...and that's OK.

Can't Help But Share

2011-02-12T12:57:00.000-05:00

I just put the kids down for their nap, and instead of cleaning up the messy kitchen, I decided to plop down at the computer to share the good news about the babe's egg challenge yesterday (she passed!).

I walked toward the computer and saw a brown thing on the carpet that I didn't quite recognize. As I walked closer, my heart started to sink.

There, on my family room carpet, was a solid piece of poop. Now I know lots of you have pets and deal with this every day, but I don't and I don't want to start.

I guess the little guy managed to wiggle one out of his diaper. This kid has mad skills.

Anyway, here's a pic for you (I decided against sharing the close up version)!

Eggs, Eggs, Eggs!

2011-02-12T12:51:00.000-05:00

Guess who can eat eggs now? EVERYONE IN MY HOUSE!!!!!

Guess who likes scrambled eggs? NO ONE BUT ME!

I am seriously thrilled to announce that the babe passed her "egg challenge" yesterday. We got started at 7am and were done by noon. The babe ate a piece of french toast with maple syrup in small doses over a period of a few hours and then she was closely monitored for a few hours. She loved it, and after I got over my nerves, I loved it.

Having spent 10 hours at the allergist's office since Wednesday, I can now officially say both kids have outgrown a food allergy. I never thought the day would actually come, and I am still coming to terms with the fact that eggs will now be allowed into our baking, our meals, our flu shots, etc., etc.

I offered to make the babe more french toast for brunch today but she claimed she wanted scrambled eggs. So I whipped up a batch, and despite offering a lot of ketchup, the babe told me she doesn't like scrambled eggs. Above is her place mat after brunch was complete. I'm not sure she actually put any in her mouth or if she was too grossed out from looking at them.

Perhaps we just stick with eggs in baked items, pancakes, and french toast for now. Regardless, it is one less thing to fear in life. YAY!!!!!!

Bring on the Dairy!

2011-02-09T14:33:00.000-05:00

Cheese stick? OK. Yogurt? Sure thing. Some ice cream and chocolate milk? Why not?

Dear friends, I am happy to announce that my son passed his "food challenge" today at the allergist's office. We were there for about 5.5 hours and the little guy had 5 doses of whole milk. He showed no reaction whatsoever. He was, in fact, remarkably well behaved considering he was dragged out of bed in the dark, walked in the cold to an office where he had to remain in a small room being forced to repeatedly drink milk and have his blood pressure and heart checked every half hour or so.

It was a strange experience and I'm glad we went through with it. I was pretty nervous and had trouble sleeping last night (as did both kids), but was so relieved when the doctor said he was officially in the clear.

I am not sure how I'm going to deal with having one child who can consume dairy products and one who cannot. But for now, at least I know that he and I can snack together during the day without any fear.

Realistically, this is going to mean I live in a house with soy milk (the babe), lactose-free milk (my husband), whole milk (the little guy), 1% milk and half and half (for me). Seems a bit ridiculous, no?

While we have one food challenge out of the way, I remain extremely nervous about the babe's egg challenge on Friday. One way or another, we are giving it our best shot this week. Hopefully this weekend will involve some celebrating in the kitchen!

The Distractions of Life

2011-02-07T16:18:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, we actually had a good weekend! Yes...the 4 of us, together (even though my husband had to work in our "home office" on both Saturday and Sunday). It felt really good and I'm not sure what the secret ingredient to our success was, but whatever it was, I want more weekends like it.

It's funny we managed to pull it off as last week was pretty stressful. By Friday night we were all fried. Once we got the kids to bed and ate, my husband and I managed to switch the mood around by 9:30pm, and after that things got much better.

Haven't had much down time, but am excited to report that today I have dealt with the painters who are doing our basement (yay!), the floor guy who is going to cover up the concrete in the basement with flooring (yay!) and the HVAC guy who hopefully figured out why the thermostat isn't communicating with the furnace (yay!). I've also had both kids at home as the babe didn't have school today.

She wasn't feeling well for the first half of the day (possibly related to not feeling well and trying to wiggle into our bed all last night). I guess the babe wouldn't have gone to school today anyway, so it kind of worked out (except for the fact that we had to miss the little guy's sports class, which is seriously unfortunate as he's literally been inside for days).

Another unfortunate thing is the amount of TV the kids have watched today as I deal with contractors and such, and the amount of paint fumes we are all currently inhaling. I know they say low VOC is OK, but I'm feeling pretty raunchy having been trapped in here all day. If it were spring, you can bet every window we own would be pumped open.

Anyway, this is a pretty random post, but I wanted to get something up that wasn't about crazy drivers! Hopefully I will have some good news for you later this week as both kids are undergoing "food challenges" at the allergist's office. The little guy will be trying dairy (which he is still testing negative for and hasn't had in over a year) and the babe will be trying egg as her levels have apparently dropped enough that they think she may be OK with it. Fingers crossed we can start marking things off our food allergy list!

Share the Road

2011-02-03T22:24:00.000-05:00

This has nothing to do with how patient and positive a parent I am. It has to do with how I drive.

I like to think I am a pretty good driver (so does everyone, right?).

When the babe makes comments from the back about my driving, I politely tell her that I know what I'm doing and don't appreciate being told how to drive by a 4 year old.

When drivers behind me at red lights honk for me to turn right when it is clearly unsafe, I tend to stare them down in the rear view mirror and gesture at the traffic that I will no doubt run into if a turn is attempted. And no, I don't give people the finger (if my kids are in the car).

This morning, as we were driving to school, the second scenario occurred. We had just started our commute when this bow tie wearing Camry driver decided to honk and gesture at me at a red light. I dealt with it in the above described manner and thought I was done with it.

When the light turned green I proceeded to turn right, as did the driver behind me. He stayed behind me all the way until the next turn. And the next turn. And the next turn.

Honestly folks, my heart was thumping and I felt like I was going to start crying by the time we hit the third turn and he was still there staring at me at every light and stop sign. I've heard of road rage, and there is a lot of it in these parts (DC and Dallas have the longest commute times in the country). And while I knew I may be overreacting, some worst case scanarios starting running through my mind.

I wanted to call my husband and ask him what I should do, but I was driving, and frankly, I was concentrating on every move the guy behind me made. What was I going to do if he was still behind me when I had to park?

I remembered there's usually a police car parked outside an elementary school a block from the babe's school. Not knowing what else to do, I made a turn towards where I hoped the cop car would be parked. And that is where I lost my crazy friend. The police car wasn't even parked in front of the elementary school, so it wouldn't have done me much good anyway.

Was the guy just messing with me, or did he really need to follow my every move for 15 minutes straight? I had so many disturbing thoughts run through my head, but ultimately I was worried about the position I had put my 2 innocent children in. What if this guy was really a nut job?

Should I stop gesturing at people on the road? Should I not honk at people any more? Should I drop the parts of me which have become "agressive" on the road?

What would a patient and positive parent do? Be a good driver, that's what they'd do.

Do You Want To Be My Follower?

2011-02-01T13:50:00.000-05:00

This is just a friendly reminder to you, my dear readers, that you're more than welcome to become an "official" 24-7 Mommy follower. I have moved my Followers (all 13 of you!) up to the top left hand side of the home page, and would love it if you could join my list. Thank you!

Poker Face-Day 7

2011-02-01T13:44:00.000-05:00

On the few occasions I've played poker, I did not do so well. As I mentioned, I'm not so great at hiding things.

As such, I think it's important to address my wise cousin's comments about yesterday's post (she is a doctor in Sweden):

"No no... not a poker face.
I have had SO many patients (psychiatry) lately coming from "perfect homes" where emotions were not allowed. It is not good. They can't identify what they are feeling so they just ignore it and give out all kinds of mixed signals.
The ones from homes where everything is dealt with openly are doing much better.
Let them see your emotions and let them see you deal with them. "real life" is full of problems and that is OK."

These are VERY good points and I thank you, J, for reminding us that kids benefit from seeing emotion/reality. I guess I was thinking more along the lines of not freaking out if we're running late, not losing my cool over spilt milk, not going into a tizzy when the kids are running around screaming and chasing each other when I've asked them to clean up their toys (which they are about to trip over).

While I wish I could have more of a poker face (in general, not just with kids), I really just want to improve my ability to moderate some of my occasionally extreme (negative) emotions. While it's important for my kids to understand that emotion is a healthy part of life, I want them to have many opportunities to mirror the positivity they witness in their Father and I.

What I'm really trying to say is that I don't want them to mirror me when I'm walking around with a twisted face and ranting in my head. I want to help them mirror as much positivity and patience as possible. That means I want to feel as much of it as possible. Part of that is letting go a bit more and not giving into the desire to meltdown when my buttons are pushed. And part of that is trying to take a step back, take a DEEP breath, and realize that the issues we are facing are not deal breakers (thank goodness). Easily said. Not so easily done.

If you have tips on controlling your parental angst, feel free to share.

Mirroring -Day 5 & 6

2011-01-31T14:49:00.000-05:00

First off, thanks to my friends for all their lovely comments and book suggestions. They are much appreciated (although I do wonder how you guys find the time to do all this reading!).

I was honestly too exhausted to write yesterday. It was a long, overwhelming and challenging day where every member of my family was over tired. I was not in a state to write about my amazing patience and positivity as I wasn't really exhibiting a whole lot of it. I have to say that parents taking care of themselves definitely plays into their ability to be there for their kids. And my late nights didn't help me feel up to the task of parenting. The weekends always test my parenting skills, and when I'm wiped out fighting a never ending cold, I really should be more responsible and go to bed early. Alas...

I did however, discover an interesting theme yesterday. I had just been reading in my class text book about how children mirror the body language and emotion they see in adults, and if we as parents start acting all wiggy and stressed out, it's likely our kids will follow our lead and start acting the same way. I can see the logic in that.

In a TV induced moment of calm, I managed to sit down with last weeks' Economist for a few minutes. I came across an article discussing whether or not smoking in movies promotes smoking. And guess what they were talking about? Yep, you got it: mirroring body language. As this concept popped up twice in a 12 hour period, I've decided it's worth paying some attention to.

As I continue working on all this better parenting stuff, I am going to try to pay more attention to my tone of voice, my body language, and my facial expressions. I am not good at hiding things from people, so when I'm annoyed, it's pretty obvious. Keeping in mind that I may get my own behavior thrown back in my face, I will try and keep an internal check on how I am sending messages to my kids.

Perhaps I should also take up poker playing....

TV-Day 4

2011-01-29T23:59:00.002-05:00

Were you wondering how I did today?

Well, as it's so late, I will keep it brief.

I did pretty well, with a few hiccups here and there.

But the thing that struck me as blog worthy was the moment when I realized I was reading about limiting television time in my new parenting text book while sitting next to my daughter who was watching television.

I'll admit it, it's easy to let kids watch too much TV. At the same time, I'm not convinced that some thoughtful television choices will have a negative impact on my kids.

I do not think my kids watch too much TV. I do think that academics who suggest television is the devil, are obviously not presently parents of young children.

There is a time and a place for TV and it's usually when it's time to calm down and mellow out a bit (like while I'm cleaning up from the kids dinner, or making some meal or other). Sometimes it's better to have them engaged in TV than fighting with each other (or me) or destroying our house because they are over stimulated.

While many may suggest that kids aren't learning from all this children's programming, I'd like to disagree.

The kids learn about being a good person (morals and values) from the Berenstain Bears: about art, music and geography from the Little Einsteins: spelling from Super Why, various goodies from the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Spanish from Dora and Diego, and general goodness (and Spanish) from Handy Manny (who I have a secret crush on).

In an ideal world, we probably wouldn't have our little kids sitting in front of a television, but in the real world, it's just not fair to ask us to shelter them from small doses of thoughtful television programing. Sometimes we just need a break, because we as parents aren't perfect either.

I know a lot of people who grew up watching much less educational "children's programming," and we turned out OK. So for now, I am going to embrace the patience and positivity that 24 minutes of television can bring my kids and I.

My "Fake Positivity"-Day 3

2011-01-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

In case you're wondering, I managed to keep relatively positive for the rest of our snowed in day yesterday. In fact, we managed to get outside after nap time and create this lovely snowman. The babe and I had a ball, while the little guy whined pretty much the whole time, except when I pulled him around the yard in a sled.

What I wanted to write about today is "fake positivity." I have discovered that when I am on the verge of losing it, I have been going into "fake positive" mode where my voice goes up a notch, my blood starts to boil and I try to communicate my message in as few words as possible. To me (and my husband) it's obvious that I'm losing my patience and ability to remain positive, and I'm sure the babe can see through it as well. But for now, as I adjust to this new way of thinking, I am going to have to let it slide because it's gotta be better than yelling at my kids, right?

As I mentioned yesterday, the babe and I have a new thing to fight about: clothes. And the clothes thing has brought out a lot of "fake positivity" in me. I'm grateful she can dress herself now, but a part of me is really missing the days I could grab her clothes, put them on her, and be done with it.

Today I asked the babe if she needed help choosing her outfit for school (thank goodness it wasn't cancelled today!). She was preoccupied with getting a band aid for a minor wound which did not need a band aid, so she replied that yes, she'd like help. But I was to chose "only pink things and skirts." My heart sunk. Where does my little girl get this from?

The text book for my new class mentions that little girls are exploring what it means to be girls, and sometimes that comes out in the choice of pink things with lots of accessories. So, after explaining that there was indeed some pink in the shirt I chose for her, the babe ended up in pink socks, pink leggings, a purple skirt (as she doesn't own a pink skirt), a shirt with lots of pink (and other colour) flowers, a purple headband, and a plastic necklace.

I have to go with it. I have to let her explore this side of her personality (and ask my Mom if I ever went through such a silly phase). I just wonder how much comes from the girls at school, because it is not coming from me. Sadly, the days of buying gender neutral clothes both my kids can wear are gone forever.

Another issue we're facing is changing our clothes all the time. I feel like we are experiencing a serious surge in laundry. As much as I protest, she doesn't seem to care how much extra work it is for me when she decides to throw on a new outfit every few hours (did I mention she manages to get them all dirty?). This brings out my "fake positivity" when I ask if it's really necessary to be changing our outfit again. Is this something I fight over? Do I just suck it up? Because I really don't think positivity and patience are going to solve this problem.

And if you think I should start having her do her own laundry, well maybe you're right. But I honestly don't have the patience right now. I have to save my patience for the things that really matter (like sleeping, eating and bathing). The babe wants to do everything on her own now, but I'm frankly not ready to let her get her little hands on my new front loading washing machine!

The Challenges of Positive Parenting in a Blackout-Day 2

2011-01-27T14:40:00.000-05:00

Nothing makes parenting more challenging than losing your electricity for 12 hours.

I got to put my positivity and patience project to work today, and not to ring my own bell or anything, I did pretty darn well (granted it is only 2:15 pm). Unfortunately my husband didn't get to witness much of this patience before he left for the office, but I swear I was on my game from about 8:15 am onward.

The babe and I didn't have any battles. Oh, except for when she walked down the stairs towards the little guy and I in her tights (it was 50 degrees Fahrenheit in the house) and tried to punch me. I had just been struggling to get her to put layers of warm clothes on, and after much back and forth, had given up. Clothing is our new war zone and I am trying to not make it a HUGE issue every day, but today I was pretty set on her dressing warmly, seeing as there was no heat in the house and it's the middle of winter.

As I mentioned, I had given up and told her I wasn't going to fight with her and if she didn't want my help getting dressed, I was going downstairs with the little guy. This set her off into a big tizzy of yelling and throwing things around her room. I was almost at the bottom of the stairs when she appeared, in a long sleeve T-Shirt and tights and proceeded to walk down the stairs. I asked if she thought she was coming downstairs dressed like that, and she replied, "No, I'm coming down the stairs to hit you." At least she's honest. She struck out at me and missed (obviously she blew the element of surprise) and I proceeded to walk to the kitchen with the little guy to get him some Cheerios. I didn't yell, I didn't follow her begging for compliance, I just walked away.

Within minutes she was downstairs giving me a hug and saying sorry. I asked her if she wanted my help, and we went back up and sorted the clothing issue out. I managed to get her into 3 layers which was close to the 4 layers the little guy and I had on.

Anyway, despite this one hiccup, I feel like a champ. The kids and I read a gazillion books, we snuggled under blankets, we played together, and we managed to survive until the power came back on sometime after 11 am. I remained positive, calm and collected. I knew eventually we were going to be OK (as in not shivering). I was just glad that eventually ended up being before the kids bed time tonight. Not sure they would have been fans of being stuck in a dark house with no heat, again. Hopefully I will still be able to feel proud by the end of the day. And hopefully we won't lose power again.

Patience and Positivity-Day 1

2011-01-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

You all know I have been struggling with my ability to be patient. I regularly struggle with keeping my cool when things aren't going as I had planned. I don't know if I was always this way, or if parenthood has brought it out in me. All I know is that I need to let go a bit. To not take it all so seriously. And to try and see things through my kids eyes.

Last week I was struggling with both my patience as well as my positivity. Parenthood was feeling too heavy for me and I wasn't exactly appreciating the bright side of it all.

To help me get to this land of patience and positivity, I enrolled myself in an 8 week parenting course. It is 2 hours a week and they have childcare down the hall from the classroom. We had our first session yesterday, and I was quite pleased with how it went.

Not only did the little guy have so much fun playing with all his new friends, I got to sit in a room full of Mamas and talk about our common struggles and hopes. As I am pretty candid with my Mama blogging, I wasn't holding things back when I spoke, and it felt good. In fact, one of my class mates thanked me for being so honest when I introduced myself and told my "story." A few women were nodding as I spoke and commented that I had just summarized thier lives and that they didn't think anyone else felt the same way they did.

We sit on couches and drink crappy instant coffee with powder creamer and talk about how challenging our kids are (it is a class designed for parents of preschoolers age 2.5 to 5) and ways we can make things better.

The only problem with this course is that we are embarking on a movement towards "positive discipline." This term means many things, but the biggest challenge for me will be to stop using "punishments" or the threat of punishments when the babe misbehaves. There's a whole bunch of positive stuff I can do instead, which I'm not going to get in to here, but it appears as though I'm going to have to make some changes if I want to get to the place my instructor thinks I can get to.

Today was Day 1 of being patient and positive with my kids. Not that I was never those things before, but I am making a SERIOUS effort to not give in to all the opportunities where the babe and I could get into a verbal throw down with each other. I am walking away from opportunities to battle with her by using compassion, humour, and understanding. I am trying to get to her level, look her in the eyes, listen to her, give her more hugs, and not yell. WHOA. As my husband said 45 minutes into the day, "Wow, I guess being positive and patient takes a whole lot of energy." And indeed, it does, but it feels so much better than giving into the easiness of yelling at the babe and threatening her with our roster of punishments (no desert, no bath (just a shower) and no story time at bed).

By bath time tonight I was toast. I wasn't doing so great with the patience (I'll admit I was on my own with bath and bed time for both of them), but I managed to bring it back by cuddling up with my 2 yummy clean little kiddies and reading a story and singing some songs before bed time. It felt good.

For the next 8 weeks prepare to read about my serious mission to learn, grow, and be a better, more patient, and positive Mama (and wife, for that matter). I have 5 chapters of "homework" to read in the next 6 days! Can't get more serious than that!

Love It

2011-01-24T13:23:00.001-05:00

I am happy to report that our new sports class is awesome. The little guy loves it. I love it. It's all good.

The coach is great with kids and I can tell my son is slowly going to learn how to listen a bit better in a group environment. It's true he was running laps around the gym while other kids were sitting relatively quietly and learning how to throw a football, but he was having fun and participating (in his own way).

Another cool thing is that I am not the only Mom in the class. In fact, there's a huge group of Moms. There's so many Moms that I'm not going to get the chance to speak with them all over the course of the class.

So maybe I just had to whine a bit for the good things to come our way. Or maybe I just had to drop out of art and join the game. Either way, Mondays are looking up (even though there are reports that today is the most depressing day of the year).

Where Did All The Mamas Go?

2011-01-21T14:52:00.000-05:00

I have been feeling kind of stranded lately. It may be just a January thing. But if I had to put my finger on it, at this very minute, I am annoyed by the lack of Mamas out there. Everywhere I go, every class I take, I am surrounded by a sea of Nannies. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with Nannies, it's just that I am not one. I am a Mama. And I feel like all the other Mamas went back to work, or something.

It's strange to feel excluded. Like I'm not part of the club. And the fact that I don't speak Spanish certainly doesn't help.

It can be lonely being a Stay-at-Home-Mama (SAHM). And as much as I try to set times up to see my real life SAHM friends, we are all very caught up in our children, their schedules, our errands, and our family lives in general.

I debated about whether or not to share this next little story, and have decided it's too much of a story not to share. Recently a neighbor/fellow SAHM, tried to set me up with another woman from down the street as our kids are about the same age. We had an email exchange and got close to booking a play date. Except the play date was to be with myself and this woman's Nanny. I am not a snob, but I was slightly offended that this woman thought it would even be OK to suggest that. I politely replied that I would be happy to plan something when the Mother's schedule freed up a bit. I have not heard back.

I know I told you I made a decision about my SAHM status, but some days, some weeks, and some months are harder than others. I know in my heart I am doing the right thing. But perhaps there is more of a balance I can find for next year. So if anyone knows of any local half day co-op preschools, feel free to share. I think the little guy would benefit from some structured program, and I would benefit from a few hours off child care duty a few times a week. It may, in fact, be a good step for the kids and I to take together.

Asking For Help

2011-01-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

You may recall I was having A LOT of trouble trying to get the babe to her classroom door every morning. You may also recall that I just couldn't handle controlling the little guy in the crowded halls of the babe's preschool. And you may recall I almost had a major meltdown, at the school, in front of people, while trying to help the babe with all her winter gear last Thursday.

Well you know what I did last Friday? I asked for help.

I confided in the school's front desk staff member, whom I love, that I was having trouble and didn't know how I was going to continue to be able to bring the babe to her classroom every morning. And guess what? She offered to watch the little guy on the first floor while I bring the babe to her class on the second floor. I don't have to take my son out of the stroller at all (which is priceless), and he seems to think hanging out with Ms. A is dreamy. Luckily she thinks he's really cute (at least for now), so it seems to be win win for all involved.

TA DA!

We have been taking advantage of this kind and generous offer ever since. And it makes morning drop off a whole different experience. It's almost sort of pleasant at times. All the kids and the noise and the chaos don't get to me as much when I am only chaperoning my 4 year old. She is a big girl and likes to show off what she can do, and now I'm actually able to appreciate it and let her know how well she's doing.

All I had to do was ask for help.

Perhaps I should try it more often.

Not An Artist

2011-01-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

I was trying to have a balanced approach to parenting when I enrolled the little guy in an arts and crafts class. I figured he would benefit from exploring his more creative side. I was wrong.

Sadly we had quite a miserable time at our first art class this morning.

It's not that he was the youngest kid at the table. He wasn't. It's not that there weren't interesting things to do. There were. It's that he wanted to leave the table and run around the room exploring. He also wanted to throw a few crying fits, step on other people's art work drying on the floor, stare out the window at the clouds, and pretty much anything that didn't have something to do with the class we had registered for.

I knew within a few minutes I had made a mistake. I had an internal dialogue on whether I should switch to a more active class or just get my money back. I was also debating whether I was giving him enough of a chance. Perhaps he just needs to try it a few times, I thought to myself.

Well by the end of it I had decided I was not going to torture myself for the next eight Friday mornings. I asked the teacher if she knew about the withdrawal policy and while she didn't have any useful information for me, she certainly seemed relieved that my non artistic son and I would not be coming back and interrupting her little class.

I was relieved when the front desk guy reassured me that it would be OK and passed along the contact info of the Director of kids programing. I gave her a call as soon as we got home and we switched the little guy into a sports class as of next week. No hassle whatsoever.

I don't feel like a failure. But I did learn a lesson. The little guy is not the type of kid who wants to sit at a table quietly painting. This guy wants to move. And I'm going to let him.

"Sorry, Coco"

2011-01-13T21:38:00.000-05:00

As you may recall, the little guy apologized to me for the first time the other day. He really seemed to get that throwing his toy across the room is just not cool.

Guess what his new favorite word is?

Yep, you got it. Sorry. He seems to have realized there is a lot to say sorry for.

Now we hear "Sorry, Mama," and "Sorry, Papa," and "Sorry, Coco," all day long.

Coco? Who the hell is that?

Coco is apparently the babe. Over the last few days, exhausted by the effort of trying to master his sister's name, the little guy has started calling the babe Coco. We do not understand where it came from.

This morning he was in bed with us watching cartoons when we heard the babe yell some random thing from her room down the hall. He yelled back "Coco" at the top of his lungs.

And it has carried on all day.

We all think it's funny. Both the "sorry" thing, which is cute, and the "Coco" thing, which is strange and overall humorous. Not sure how long we'll think these things are cute and humorous, but for now we take it as progress. The process of learning to speak involves many twists and turns....and we are just trying to enjoy the ride.

Be. More. Patient.

2011-01-13T14:32:00.000-05:00

If they sold patience, I would buy it in bulk. I would give up all my treats to afford it. I would do pretty much anything to have more patience.

The kids.....who I love so very much...test...my...patience to such a degree I sometimes think my head will explode. Being a Mom means I have to keep a lot inside. There is a lot of inappropriate language going on in my head, and although I try to keep my game face on, I do not always keep it under control. I do not curse in front of my kids, but I do blow my lid every once in a while.

Our morning wasn't overly smooth today. But the highlight was dropping the babe off at school (we were actually on time). I am having BIG problems getting the babe into her class in the morning. There are so many steps to get out the door in the winter. And the school hallway where jackets and boots are stored is so crowded with little people I feel like I am going to lose it.

As I am not allowed to take the stroller up to the second floor, I have to take the little guy upstairs with no way of controlling his movements. I'm also supposed to be helping the babe with her jacket, mitts, hat, snow pants, boots, lunch bag, etc. Add about 15 other similar kids into the mix, plus a 2 year old boy who will not stay still and doesn't listen when you are yelling at him to "GET BACK HERE," it really is enough to break me.

I know it's only a 20 minute experience, but it is the worst 20 minutes. I guess I'm just jealous of all the parents who breeze in with one kid and are out the door in less than 5 minutes. I know I always look like a mess, and I mumble to myself, and I don't look like someone you'd want to be friends with, but I suppose if I just get through it, the winter will pass and we will get to a point when jackets and all that jazz are no longer needed.

Perhaps I need to get more in tune with my Canadian self. Be nicer, calmer, more patient and able to handle the chaos of children in the winter.

Canadians Skate

2011-01-12T14:41:00.000-05:00

As I've mentioned, we recently returned from a long trip to Canada.

Last Saturday I decided we needed to make more of an effort to expose our kids to "Canadian" things, and while Canada doesn't own ice skating, there sure is a lot of it going on up there.

So we packed up the kids after nap time and drove out to the rink. I'm not sure what I expected, but it was really, really hard to take a 4 year old and 2 year old to a busy public skating rink. There's the part where you have to stand in line and buy your ticket, the part where you stand in line and rent skates, the part where you squeeze onto a crowded bench and wrestle with children getting them into the skates, the part where you try and walk them to the rink and get on the actual ice without killing anyone, and the part where you try and skate around hunched over holding onto the full weight of a 30/34 pound child while trying not to collide into the boards or other skaters.

Guess how many times the little guy and I made it around? 3. Guess how many times the babe and her Dad made it around? 2. Guess who could barely move the next morning? My Husband and I. But guess who really dug skating? Both of my dual citizen children. Check them out watching the Zamboni drive by. Fascinating stuff, eh?

So will we do it again? Yes. Will it be soon? Let me get back to you after my back and arms have healed.

The Art Show

2011-01-12T14:28:00.000-05:00

December was a crazy busy month. As such, I am going to have to back track a bit.

On December 15th, the babe's class had their annual "art show." The school displays the work the kids have been focusing on since September. We get all dressed up and eat a pot luck dinner together. It it quite the event.

I am posting a picture of the babe and her art piece, inspired by Paul Klee and Wassily Kandinsky. I don't normally put pics of the babe up, but she looks so proud standing next to her art, and I can't resist sharing it with you.

As you can see (despite the fact that I cut off the top of it), the babe's painting is quite something. While many of her female classmates speak of unicorns, princesses, and castles in the evening's program, my daughter apparently took her inspiration from a friend.

The piece is called "Eleanor Is Writing Her Numbers"
Acrylic on Canvas

"This painting is of Eleanor because she once had pink eye and needed to go to the doctor. The brown ladder is for her to fix her roof and the blue ladder is for her tears to travel. The table is for dinner and the blue circle is her computer. The red lines make her a wolf. Eleanor is in school and is looking at her new boot her mom bought her. This painting can be sad and this painting can be happy. My favorite part of being down in the art studio was doing the (collaborative) painting with my friends."

Now if you can deconstruct that for me, and let me know what it means exactly, I owe you.

I am proud of my little artist and while her style may have shifted from last year's piece, I can't wait to hang the babe's new work up on our new walls.

The New Photo

2011-01-06T15:47:00.000-05:00

I have a new photo up. It's called "The Big Hug." It was taken a few weeks ago behind my folks place by a very dear family friend, Linda.

I want to thank Linda for the shot and for encouraging me to get back to my writing. Sometimes hearing some positive words makes a huge difference, and I may not have plotted my return if I hadn't been given a loving shove.

It is good to catch up, isn't it?

Decisions, Part 2

2011-01-06T15:39:00.000-05:00

I left you hanging there, didn't I?

You want to know what my decision was?

I decided to stay home with the little guy next year.

You want to know how I decided?

I added it up. I sat down, and crunched the numbers. And it just doesn't make sense to send both kids to preschool in September. I would be spending what I made to cover the cost of it.

You want to know how else I decided?

I thought about how hard it would be to leave them from 8am to 6pm every day. And I just can't do it.

I am by no means judging those who do, and am so grateful I have a choice, but I am not at a place right now where I can imagine leaving the kiddies for that many hours a day.

I am usually a great Mom and quite enjoy it when I have only 1 kid around (if I do say so myself). In all honesty, I am not as effective or relaxed when I've got both with me, but I still think it is better for them and for me if we stick it out together for a while longer.

In September 2012, the babe will start kindergarten (public and free!), and at that point I think we'll all be better prepared and possibly ready to handle the challenges of living as part of a family with 2 working parents.

And who knows, perhaps I will get really good at this Mommy thing and won't be so torn anymore. Only time will tell. But for now, I am breathing a huge sigh of relief that the little guy and I have more time together and that I will be able to continue seeing the babe's excited face as she runs towards me at pick up time every day after preschool.

Cheers to the good life and to all our many blessings.

Belated Wishes

2011-01-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

On December 23rd, my beloved husband turned 40. I'm not going to go on about it, but I am eternally grateful to this man for giving me love, understanding, friendship, companionship, and 2 amazing little children. I love you and wish you many, many more happy days.

Happy Birthday, dear husband.

On December 24th, my sweet little baby boy turned 2 years old. I am quickly having to come to terms with the fact that he isn't a baby anymore. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to hang out with him every day and watch him learn and grow. I think you savour things a little more when you know it's your last child. I am trying to slow down and enjoy the little things more with him. Every development, every new word and every new day with him seems like such a gift. I can not imagine tiring of kissing his little feet and fat cheeks.

Happy birthday, little guy. Your Mama, Papa and big sister all adore you.

And to all the other December birthdays out there, hope you had a great one!

The Sweetest Sorry

2011-01-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

"Sorry, Mama."

That's what the little guy said to me today right before his nap. He had just thrown a toy across the room as I was getting him in his pajamas. I responded to his energetic display of carelessness with a curt "No throwing."

He looked at me, hugged me close and said "Sorry, Mama."

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is the first time my son has ever apologized to me. He appears to have picked up the word "sorry" this week. We told him to say sorry to his sister last night after he had been pushing her around. He walked over to her, hugged her, and said "Sorry."

Perhaps it's that we have just returned from 16 days in Canada and Canadians say "sorry" more than Americans. Perhaps it's that we have been encouraging apologies between the 2 siblings for some time now and the little guy has gotten used to his big sister frequently hugging him and saying sorry.

Whatever the explanation, I was extremely touched by this simple apology. So touched I had to get myself in front of the computer and document it.

Perhaps this was all I needed to come back to you, 24-7 Mommy.com.

Happy New Year. I'm looking forward to continuing my Motherhood journey with you.