I Just Wanted to Sleep Tonight

Kids in bed, husband watching hockey, kitchen clean, and I am sitting in bed with the computer.  Time to do my daily blog thing.

Where to start.  I had some excitement this evening when I ran up to the drug store to buy non-Tylenol acetaminophen for the little guy.  Last night was not pretty.  He was up about 5 times which means I was up about 5 times as well.  I had forgotten how very bad it is to be disrupted that many times at night.  But since Tylenol did there big recall last weekend, I had no pain killer for what was an obvious case of teething pain.  So I sucked it up and tried to comfort him as best I could. 

I decided I was not going to have another night like that, so after getting the little guy to bed tonight, I drove up to the 24 hour drug store for the meds (yes, I know, I should have thought of this earlier).  I turned off our street and managed to get stuck behind an 18 wheeler and about 15 cars trailing behind it.  Not a good sign.  I made it up the hill to the drug store and ran to the "Children's Remedy" section.  I couldn't see any acetaminophen.  So I walked back to the pharmacy (which I had called before I left to make sure they had the drugs in stock).  Some guy was asking a bunch of annoying questions like, "and what is folic acid?," and I just sucked it up and waited.  I saw a woman pick up a pregnancy test and internally wished her luck.  Then boom, a piercing alarm sounds and lights start flashing throughout the store.  We all looked at each other with panic in our eyes.  I saw one guy practically jump out of his skin. 

I stood in shock, and then realized there could be a robbery in progress.  Just my luck!  I only wanted some baby meds so I could sleep tonight and of course, there has to be a robbery.  Many, many scary thoughts raced through my mind (like, "I can't die!  I have 2 little kids!").  We all somehow clued in that it was the fire alarm, and as there did not appear to be a fire, we all just stood there.  I couldn't hear myself think, but I managed to ask the pharmacist about the generic brand's location.  I then ran up aisle 9A and located my drugs.  I sped up to the cash....where there was a long line...and tried to hold my ears (it was deafening).  I was then ushered to a self check out by a helpful store employee where I managed to pay for my purchase.

I ran to my car and heard the fire truck sirens fast approaching.  Please, please, please let me get out of the parking lot before the fire trucks get here.  And yes, I pulled it off.  I got outta there and managed make it home in time to read the babe a bed time book (in French, no less).  Now was that all really necessary?  Guess we'll see how tonight goes.

My Pride

I think I just let myself feel sorry for myself. It is pretty ridiculous, especially after all my musings about needing to be grateful. Today I managed to get the house ready for the cleaning lady (I broke down when the little guy was born and have her come in every 3 weeks), bring the babe into school, get some quick shopping done at Target (where the little guy managed to get his arm stuck in the shopping cart and create a bit of a dramatic and scary scene), and rush home to deal with the HVAC cleaning guys. Not bad for a Wednesday morning.

The pride wounding happened when I spoke to my husband on his lunch break. He casually mentioned that he had had lunch with one of his his best friends (who happens to work a few blocks from my husband). I also happen to be friends with my hubby's best friend's wife (it's hard not using names all the time!). Like us, they are new parents (although they are "newer" than us and have only one child). My friend is a successful journalist who sometimes gets to write about her experiences in the crazy world of motherhood. Not a bad gig, right?

So, my husband mentions that our friend just wrote about an expensive baby equipment purchase they were thinking of making (Budgeting With a Baby in US News and World Report), and that she had mentioned a store (Giggle) that they had been shopping around in (I just happened to be window shopping there last night). Apparently the founder of this lovely national chain has directly commented on our friend's piece.

It became unbelievably clear to me that although I am writing about my motherhood experiences, no CEOs will be leaving comments on my posts, let alone reading them. And I felt kind of like a loser. Like a career less, boring, errand running, domestic bliss coordinator.  My husband didn't understand why my mood shifted so quickly (nor did I for that matter).

So I had a little sulk (perhaps you could call it a pity party), heated up my husband's left over hockey pizza from last night (part of my health kick), and sat down to tell you about my feelings. And you know what?  I feel better now. Sometimes we just need to embrace what we have...and that is a lot in my case. And I'll have to forward this to my journalist friend so I don't feel like a crazy mommy blogger! Thanks for reading...and feel free to leave a comment! I always love to hear from you (even if you're not a CEO type).

Tuesday

Yesterday ended with blood all over my shirt sleeve (the little guy had a bad tumble), frazzled nerves (the babe punched me in the face after I dragged her inside to have dinner at 5:30 pm--needless to say, I did not handle it too well), too much wine and coffee in my system and not enough plain 'oll H20.  I keep saying I'm going to drink more water and attempt to be healthier and calmer, and I keep pulling out the red wine with dinner and the dark chocolate for desert.  I suppose they are the "healthy" indulgences in terms of benefits to the system...but it doesn't make up for the lack of water.  But is does make me calmer. 

What I'm really trying to say is that I went to bed a little too late and didn't sleep very well.  As such, I am wiped out today.  And Tuesday is not a day to be wiped out around here.  After bringing the babe into school, the little guy and I hit the grocery store, dropped off the groceries at home, went downtown for music class, came home and had lunch.  He's now napping.  I've cleaned the kitchen, made the beds and should be doing the laundry and packing up for our next outing.  But since I made a promise to blog every day (and I needed to check my email), I decided to sit down and write. 

After nap time we will pick up the babe at school, drive to Bethesda, play at the park and hopefully have a successful soccer experience.  It will be the babe's third time out with her new "team" and coach.  She is doing really well and I think she may be a natural (or perhaps my mommy meter is not exactly accurate).  But really, another soccer Mom actually asked me if the babe had ever played before.  That must mean something, right?

Then we will race back home, eating snacks all the way, and have an unorganized and chaotic dinner and then clock some chill out time in front of the TV before bath time. 

Believe it or not I also have dinner plans, AGAIN!  The Montreal Canadiens are back on the ice tonight so I'm heading out with a good friend for some wining, dining and catching up.  She is pregnant with her first and I am trying to be supportive and honest with her (no one ever told me how hard it was going to be!).  But I do try not to overwhelm her with too many gory details.  Although she's been over to my house enough that if she isn't freaked out yet, I'm not sure what will freak her out!

Anyway, must get back to my domestic bliss....the laundry and preparing my husband's hockey dinner (a healthy pizza concoction) awaits.  Aren't I a good stay at home Mom/Boss of the house??? 

Grateful

They say you don't know what you've got till it's gone.  How true, how true.  This morning, the power went out.  My heart sunk. Then it came back.  Then it went out again...and stayed out.

From 8:30 am to 1:20 pm, we had no power. This gap in reality has made me realize how much I take electricity for granted.  I felt completely immobilized.  No computer, no music, no radio in the kitchen, no phone, can't open the fridge because I don't want to let the cold air out, can't use the microwave, and oh yeah, the toaster isn't working either.  I was officially roughing it.

So after dropping the babe off at school, the little guy and I went to the grocery store for non-perishable items.  The power was still out when we got home so I decided we should eat a lot of snacks from the cupboard and sit on the floor to play with toys. 

When the little guy's nap time came along I was a tad nervous.  No sound machine to block out the outside noise or fan to circulate the sticky air.  Amazingly he fell asleep without all our usual devices going at full speed.

I called my husband on my very low battery cell and asked him if he had a PEPCO status update and just as he was about to fill me in, the power came back on.  Sweet.  Things are again as they should be. 

How the heck did all those Moms of the past take care of their families without electricity?  In fact, how do all the Moms without electricity take care of their families present day?  Not to mention access to clean drinking water, healthy food, and quality medical care. With Mother's Day coming up, check out UNICEF's Inspired Gifts.  If you're looking for a gift idea for a special Mom in your life, this one would go far to help those Moms who are less fortunate.    

I am so blessed, and sometimes it takes a little inconvenience to just remember to count my lucky stars, even if it has been a gazillion degrees and we're not using our AC until we have the HVAC system cleaned out on Wednesday.  At least I can be hot and sticky with electricity.

Mommy Blogging on Roids

For those of you interested in the whole mommy bloggin thing, I just came across this article,  Honey, Don't Bother Mommy, I'm Too Busy Building My Brand, from the New York Times.  I must admit I found it rather intimidating.  I guess I'm the opposite of all the brand reviewing, big add revenue, high traffic mom bloggers.  While I am still committed to my daily posting challenge (I've lasted half a day!), I'm sure not into joining the world of what mommy blogging appears to have become.  I think I'll be sticking with actually writing about my experiences as a stay-at-home Mom, and not over thinking this thing.

The Challenge

As you know, I am a stay-at-home Mom. I don't know how long I plan on doing this, and whenever I start to think about my game plan, I get overwhelmed. I want to take care of my kids, even though many aspects of the job drive me batty. But I am missing something. I thought I would take up swimming last fall, but that didn't happen. I thought it would be good to join a walking club, but that hasn't happened either. And I think a lot about what I want to be when I grow up. But no practical answers have come to me. People say you should identify what you love to do and work out a way to get paid for it. Can I make a living writing? I wouldn't even know where to start (and the fact that my husband always finds typos in my entries is rather troublesome).

So, after watching Julie and Julia last night (it was a "me" night as my hubby was out to dinner with a friend), I am pondering my rather slack commitment to my blog. I love to write, and I'm looking for "something," just like Julie. I'm not about to start cooking up a storm, but I can start to write more. It seems as though lots of folks are getting attention/coverage/movie and book deals these days by doing something extreme and writing about it (for example, see the On a Dollar a Day project).

I am not ready to do anything overly extreme, but I am pondering the idea of writing a blog entry every day. It does not have to be long and insightful, but it could relay a little nugget of my day to you. I have been happy to share my experiences (however inconsistent I have been) over the past few years, and I think writing every day will provide an outlet and a level of discipline I need right now. Luckily I've been a (rather slack) blogger for years so I don't feel like I'm jumping on the band wagon (even if I kinda am). But if I can find my path by hammering out a daily entry, then I'm all for it.

This is not a really well thought out plan, but I am excited about the prospects and the challenge. Hope you're in for the ride. Here we go....

My Time

So, my husband's hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, just defied all the odds and beat the Washington Capitals in the first round of the playoffs. For the past 3 games, I have been expecting them to be eliminated and to return to a world without constant hockey. It's not that I'm not a fan of hockey, it's that my husband is so nervous during these games that he's no fun to be around. It's easier for everyone if I just clear out.

As such, I have been taking advantage of these games. This past week I've been out for dinner with a friend and to a movie by myself. Dinner was fantastic (I even got there early and drank some wine and read the paper in peace and quiet). Going to a movie was awesome, even though I was alone at a movie called "Date Night." I had forgotten how all encompassing the theater experience is as compared to my living room. Escapism should never be underrated.

Another escapist thing we've picked up lately is the show "Parenthood." We've been watching it since the series started a few weeks back, and have really been enjoying it. I have to admit it makes me cry almost every time. And I'm not a big crier. They really seem to get a lot of the whole parenting thing. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out.

Something Changed

A few months back I was miserable bringing the babe into school every morning. There was drama (the babe pitching fits), danger (insane DC drivers coming way to close to my kids at intersections), and theatrics (me having melt downs in front of the general public) almost every day. I broke. I started using the "rope line" 3 days a week. I just couldn't take it anymore. The process of finding street parking, hauling out the double stroller (or the single stroller for the little guy and risking it with the babe on foot), and walking across very busy rush hour streets was just too much for me.

I also found the new school rule of "no strollers on the second floor" (where the babe's classroom is located) to be another major pain in the posterior. I was being forced to carry my heavy diaper bag (not because of the diapers but because of my wallet, keys, phone, etc.), and the little guy, while holding the babe's hand. Luckily there is an elevator, but unluckily the babe has to hit the elevator button every time or else all hell breaks lose. Once upstairs, I walk her down the rather busy hall to help her hang her coat, while trying to control the little guy and not get run over by other kids/parents going through a similar experience. I then help her deposit her lunch in the assigned spot and drop her off at her classroom. Good byes and kisses follow (that part I like).

The babe was not such a fan of the rope line (a bunch of teachers stand at the corner near the school and you can do a drive by drop off where the kids all hang onto a rope and make their way to the school at 9:05 am). But it made my morning so much easier that it was worth the trouble of dealing with the babe whining that she didn't want to do the rope line. Although I must admit I felt quite guilty. It's not like I needed to make it to the office or something.

Recently though, something has changed. I stopped relying on the rope line so much and have started bringing the babe into school, unless I have an appointment. I guess I just made a decision that taking her into school is one of the things I should be trying harder to make work. I am a stay-at-home Mom and I can do this.

So I now resign myself to the fact that nothing about the experience will be fast or smooth. Parking will be a pain, the stroller will still be heavy and awkward, and lugging all that stuff and the kids around won't be a breeze. But there is a joy I get out of seeing the babe's big smile when she sees her teachers and friends. I can also tell it means a lot to her when I make my way into her school every day. I also love the big hug and kiss good bye. She is always happy when I leave her at her classroom door, and she is always unhappy when I leave her at the rope line. And I really want the babe to be happy.

Don't get me wrong, it's still a pain in the posterior, but once I resigned myself to the major hassle part of the experience, I got to start appreciating the joy part of the experience.

Activities, Anyone?

Hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey. Welcome to my world. The Montreal Canadiens have been playing the Washington Capitals in the playoffs, and it has been a big part of our life lately (my husband is a huge Montreal fan and we just happen to live in Washington, DC).

Guess what we're doing right now? Guess what we did last night (the Ottawa Senators, which is my official team, is also in the playoffs)? A whole lotta hockey going on.

Anyway. My folks are in town from Ottawa which is absolutely lovely. It is so great seeing them interact with their only grandchildren. I've noticed that this has been a really nice visit in that the kids are much more "under control" than they have been in the past. As you may know, the first few years with itsy bitsy children in the house are crazy. Things are in flux and new parents are trying to keep in the game. This is the first visit from my folks where I feel like I have a pretty good handle on my parenting. And you know what? It feels good!

In other news I have been struggling to keep my daughter from freaking out after school every day. Spring is in the air and that has created some serious outdoor expectations. The babe's after school greeting is now: "Mama, where can we go now?" It's as if our home isn't good enough.

Many days end in screaming and tears before we've even made it home from school. And I honestly am trying to keep her entertained and active. Some days I do the park, which is exceptionally challenging with 2 very active kids. Some days I think of some other activity, such as the library last Monday, to keep us occupied. But no matter what I think up, it always ends in more tears when it's time to pack up and go home. Seriously, even if I give her what she wants, she's still angry at me for dragging her home. If I have this much trouble with a 3 year old, I am extremely nervous about our future.

Speaking of after-school activities, this week we started a whole new phase of life....soccer. Yes, she's only 3, but she is now on a soccer "team" of 3 year olds in Bethesda, MD. On Tuesday, I officially became a "Soccer Mom." If you knew me a few years back, you'd appreciate how humorous this new title is. At least I'm not driving a mini van, yet (no offense to all you mini van drivers).

To make it even more humorous, I baked brownies for the school bake sale on Wednesday. They just happen to be raising money for the local park. Can't say no to that, now can you?

Sometimes I wonder where "I" went...and then I remember that I have willingly created this new reality for myself. No point fighting it. Might as well embrace it. Here's to soccer practice, hockey playoffs, the annoying and distracting park, and being an egg free, dairy free, peanut free, tree nut free, brownie baking, stay-at-home Mom.

Spring Updating

Guess I haven't been doing all that writing I had hoped I'd be doing. I suppose I have been uninspired, tired, distracted and/or just plain old busy.

We made it through spring break week. After that experience, I can honestly say I am much better dealing with only 1 child at a time for extended periods. I really enjoy one on one time with my kids, but when I have both of them for numerous hours, all my good intentions and proper mothering practices tend to disappear. I have grand ideas of how to relate to my kids in a positive and productive manner, and it all just turns into me trying to survive....to get by....to make it to bed time. Sad, right? For instance, my good intentions for a relaxed and pleasant Sunday morning have turned into me caving and turning on "Diego" for the babe. Why is the TV such a wonderful thing? It is the only way to get her seated and quiet for more than a minute.

There have been some great little capsules of time, though. We did a very sweet little Easter egg hunt last weekend. Both kids loved it. The babe was grabbing eggs before the little guy, but it didn't seem to really phase him. The little guy would slowly make his way over to an egg only to have to babe swoop in and take the eggs out from under him. He'd just look at us and go "uh oh." That's one of his new expressions, which can be added to his list of" "Mama," "Papa," "Done," and "Yes."

Last week I was sitting with the babe in the bathroom (she had a yucky diarrhea thing going on), and she was asking me: "Mama, what are those stripes on your forehead?" I responded, "Those are called wrinkles, honey." She asked why I had so many of them on my face, and I told her it happens when we get older. I suppose I should be proud of my stripes.

The little guy is walking all over the place these days. He's a man on a mission and it is pretty cute. He continues to be my love bug, but has started to excerpt signs of independence. He is not afraid to whack at me if he doesn't like something. I am quickly realizing that the "baby days" are over and we are quickly entering toddler hood. It's been one month since we said good bye to our breastfeeding days, and both Mama and son are doing well with it.

I really just wanted to give a little update and say Hi to everyone. Hope life is good.