Going Home and Going Offline

The babe and I have just returned from a trip home to Canada. It was a wonderful visit that went by very quickly (it also felt like we were gone for a million years). I have made a few observations on the trip since my return (in no particular order):

-It would appear as though I don't need the computer when I am surrounded by people and away from my regular routine. I barely checked email, didn't do any blogging, and rarely checked in with Facebook. I had people around every day and it was a nice change from the relatively solitary life the babe and I lead in Washington, D.C.

-It's amazing that it can take 6 adults to take care of a baby (last Sunday morning at my parents place), but when I'm at home alone, it takes only me (yesterday and today).

-There is just no way to see all the people you want to see, so there's no point in trying. I feel guilty about the folks I didn't have time to contact, but realize that when working with a baby's schedule, you really don't have a lot of flexibility.

-Flying alone with a baby is just not fun. Especially when you're surrounded by men who don't have much sympathy for a woman travelling with a squirming, scratching, crying baby.

-Diaper cream at night really does make a difference. As we were out of our routine, I stopped putting the cream on at night when I was getting the babe ready for bed (mostly because it was dark in the room and I couldn't see). Within a few days, she got diaper rash like I'd never seen before. I suppose my preventative cream use had been doing something after all.

-Webcams are awesome. We always talk to the babe's grandparents on the webcam from Washington. When we go to Canada, the babe seems to know who they are and warms to them almost automatically. Seeing the babe with her grandparents is truly a beautiful thing.

-No matter how hard I try, I will eventually revert to a less mature version of myself when I return to my parent's home. No offence to my husband, but I find that both of us have flare-ups of our former, younger selves, despite the fact that we're in our 30s, are married, and have a child. Maybe going home just reminds us of who we used to be, or maybe being with our parents makes us feel younger than we really are. I'm not sure why it happens, all I know is that it never appears to last because we return to our lives and turn back into the people we were before we left.

-I enjoy the space at my parents place immensely (both inside and outside). Their property backs on national parkland, or the "back 40" as my Dad always says. My father, the babe and I went on a marvelous walk last Friday and it was perfect. Just look at the picture. Who knows why I didn't appreciate it as a teenager. I'd love to have something similar for the babe one day. The "back 40" is pretty different from the alley way we currently have behind our home.

Those Perfect Days

Autumn is my favorite season. The weather has finally shifted in Washington, DC, which is a major relief. For the past 3 work days (the days my husband is at work, that is), I have gone on a 3 mile walk with the babe and it has been a beautiful thing. We have headed in the Georgetown direction every time as it is so scrumptious when the leaves are changing and people have their Halloween decorations out.

It is the babe's first Autumn and I am so glad I am home to spend it with her. After being trapped in air conditioning for the whole summer, it is such a relief to get outside and be free from the oppressive heat. It's also such a pleasure to not be stuck in an office for my favorite season.

My long walks are providing me a chance to clear my head, get some exercise and fresh air. Although today my walk provided me with some ice cream from Thomas Sweet and new eyebrows at Aveda (please note that it was the first time in over a year I have gotten my eyebrows done!).

I know these perfect days won't last forever, but for now I'm counting my many blessings.

Grade 2 Test Scores

Last night, after putting the babe to sleep, I got stuck on the couch in front of the computer. I don't know how it happened as I was planning on taking my shower and going to sleep (which would have been a smart move as the babe ended up crying for an hour and a half in the middle of the night, again). But the Internet can be a seductive thing. So, my husband and I spent a nice chunk of time surfing around looking up facts and stats about Montgomery County (Maryland).

As I've mentioned, my new hobby is real estate. We have gone out with my Realtor friends twice now and have seen about 8 places. The babe has been pretty delightful as she's hauled in and out of her car seat to check these houses out. I've decided I like the Silver Spring area (in Montgomery County and on the metro line) as an option. I was getting rather depressed seeing what money will buy you in DC proper. Even though the housing market is on a downward trend in the US, Washington is still up there in terms of prices. Despite the fact that sellers are getting desperate and prices are going down, I still don't know how anyone affords to buy in safe and reasonably close in neighborhoods.

Last night, for the first time, we became the people who look up second grade test scores of Montgomery County Public Schools elementary school students. We have to make sure that wherever we buy, the schools are going to be a place we feel comfortable sending the babe. District lines are an important thing to consider if you don't want to end up sending your kid to private school. We are not private school kinda people, and that's why we need to pay more to be in a district with good public schools. That just makes decision making a whole lot more difficult.

She's only 10 months old now, but one day she is going to go off to prekindergarten. One day she's going to be in elementary school. And one day she'll be in high school (you get where I'm going here). As much as we see her as a baby now (because she still is technically a baby for another 2 months), things are going to change and we need to be ready. I suppose buying a home in a safe neighborhood with good schools is part of being ready. But after seeing what I've seen on the market, winning the lottery would certainly help us in the "being ready" department.

Mange, Mange

My local Safeway grocery store has a sad, sad, sad collection of baby food. I dropped by today to pick up some more apple sauce, as I can not seem to keep this particular food item stocked. The organic apple sauce was 10 for $6.00. There were 9 containers left and I took them all. I have come to realize that shopping for baby food at what we refer to as the "Soviet Safeway" is not a viable option on most days. It just takes one mommy (me) to wipe out their entire collection of apple sauce. I guess that says something about our neighborhood.

On another note, we have come to LOVE Cheerios. After our standard 7 days of introduction (food allergies), the babe is in love with them and so am I. I dump a bunch on her high chair's tray and she keeps herself easily amused by stuffing them in her mouth, pushing them around and dropping the ones that don't make it into her mouth onto the floor. Good times.

We do not, however, love chicken. The babe turned 10 months old yesterday so I thought it was time to try a little meat. Bad idea. She ate the liquid chicken and sweet potato concoction happily. A few hours later she had a serious vomiting session (in the playzone) that took us by surprise. We'll put meat on hold for a while longer and stick with the yummy tofu mixed in with veggies option (and apple sauce, of course).

I'll Pass on the Edamame, Thanks

No more edamame for me. After almost 10 months of breastfeeding, you'd think I'd have worked that out. Not quite.

The week started off strong with some spectacular sleeping. The babe pulled one six hour stint in her crib, and then upped it to 8 hours straight the next night. But all good things must come to an end. After 2 great nights, we had a bad one with the babe up crying for a solid hour. What was it, we wondered? Teething?

The next night she was up for 2 hours farting and crying (a sad combination). After about an hour of this wacky behavior, the babe and I moved to the spare room to try and calm down and get some rest. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I'd done differently. After much blurry thought (it was, after all, 1:00am), I realized I had consumed edamame on both days. Here I was trying to be healthy, but really just causing the babe serious gastrointestinal grief.

Sometimes I wonder if it really is healthier for me to be breastfeeding her with all the pain I cause her when I choose the wrong food or beverage. My goal is to reach the one year recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, and I know we'll get there. It just can be difficult to isolate that one thing that was the wrong thing. It's trial and error I suppose, and these things take time (like at least 10 months, apparently).

Last night she slept for 7 hours straight in her crib (I even splurged on a delicious Kennebunkport pumpkin ale after putting her to sleep). Good to know we are back on the upswing. If you'll recall, we've only recently begun to master this sleep thing, and I'd really hate to mess it up.

The New Kind of Mommy

For any of you interested in the issues surrounding the working versus staying at home dilemma, you should definitely check out my friend's cover story, The New Mommy Track, in US News & World Report at: http://www.usnews.com/usnews/issue/070826/

Kim has done an amazing job at capturing what's going on out there.

Pennies, Beds and Paper

No one is perfect and there is no all inclusive course on how to be the perfect parent. Sometimes we have to make mistakes to learn. I have recently made a few of them.

In the past two weeks, I've found a penny in my daughter's hand, caught her just as she was about to fall head first off our king size bed (which used to seem so big), and pulled out a wad of paper she had managed to shove into her mouth as I held her. I am not going to beat myself up over these things because as I just mentioned above, I am not perfect.

When life is good, we tend to take things for granted as we happily cruise along. But one minute can change everything. One minute (or less) is long enough for you to stop paying attention and end up in the Emergency Room. Most of my new mommy friends have already had a visit there (including me), and it's not a place you really want to go.

The babe usually hangs out in her pack n play in our bedroom while I putter around. Sometime my clothes will end up thrown over the side of the pack n play because I am too tired or lazy to put them away. A skirt I had recently worn was carelessly thrown over the side the other day. I went to pick the babe up to change her diaper and found a penny in her hand. That's very bad, right? A serious choking hazard. The change in my pocket must have spilled out into the play pen and ended up in her hands. I sifted through the toys and found a lot more change, including quarters (larger than pennies!). I've read the chapter on what to do when your baby is choking in the American Academy of Pediatrics book, but am not sure I would have remembered if she had been choking and turning blue. No more change in pockets.

Another common accident is falling off the bed. I was grabbing something from the closet (very close to the bed) last week. I had left the babe in the middle of the bed as I quickly turned around to grab whatever it was that I needed (I don't even remember). When I headed back towards the bed a second later, she had managed to crawl (super rapidly) to the edge of the bed and was about to go over head first. I caught her just in time. I don't think my heart has ever beat that fast. I was pretty upset about it all day. It was careless of me to put her on the bed when I could have just as easily plopped her in the pack n play (without change). This will not happen again.

And my last story is about paper. The babe LOVES to play with paper. As I was having a little picnic with a friend last Monday, the babe was rifling through the front pocket of my purse. She found a piece of paper which I didn't think would be a problem as I was holding her while she sat on top of the picnic table. People (like me) can get pretty distracted as they tell stories, and I got distracted. Next thing I know, the babe is choking. I quickly opened her mouth and fished out some paper. Not good. What is even more embarrassing is the fact that my husband had just given her an envelope to play with a few days earlier and she had stuck it in her mouth and yep, you guessed it, choked. I have now learnt my lesson twice on this one. Paper is bad. As fun as it may seem, it is bad.

Every parent has their stories, and every parent beats themselves up over them. We aren't perfect and we can't always protect our little ones from harm. But we can certainly do our best to minimize potential accidents, and that includes avoiding some of the situations I've mentioned above. Happy parenting!

My New Hobby

In a state of slight panic, I spent Tuesday afternoon cleaning and organizing the house because I had guests coming over on Wednesday. Not just any guests, but Realtor guests. My husband and I are starting to think about the possibility of buying something in the DC area. While our intention is not to necessarily make this city our permanent home, we are finding that our sweet row house is quickly filling up with baby-related items. Housing prices seem to be cooperating these days, so it is at least worth knowing what our options are. It was time I had a new hobby anyway.

It's not as if I was trying to impress my new Realtor friends to sell our current home. We are renters. It's just that they were the first non-family, non-friend, non-baby related people coming over in a million years (if ever). In addition to my clean things up project, I actually thought about what I was going to wear (black Banana Republic capris and brown Liz Claiborne splitneck t-shirt), I put on my standard eyeliner, and made sure my hair was brushed and teeth were clean (the tuna sandwich I had for lunch may not have not been the best decsion). I had some classical music playing in the background, and believe it or not, was nervous as I waited for them to arrive. I am such a dork.

We covered a nice amount of ground during our 40 minute meeting (including a tour of our house in which they indicated we have a very nice amount of space for our neighborhood). At one point, they asked me what I used to do. I'll admit I was a bit taken aback. I haven't been asked that question in a very long time. They seemed quite interested in how I became a stay at home mommy and were wondering what my plans were. It was nice to be seen as someone who was actually recently part of the paid workforce. It was even nicer to talk about things like housing prices, mortgage lenders, and interest rates. I realized after they left how rarely I get the chance to talk about things that don't involve babies. I didn't know what I was talking about, but I enjoyed it immensely.

Luckily we're not under any pressure to buy right now. We are satisfied with our current situation but see some room for improvement. Even if this new hobby doesn't go anywhere, eventually we will have to make the very overwhelming and grown-up decision to go from renters to owners. Because eventually we will get sick of having two car seats (long story that involves a car accident), a snap and go, a jumperoo, and a swing in our dining room.

Saying Goodbye

I always cry like a baby when she leaves. This past Friday my mom boarded the shuttle bus to Dulles airport after a 5 day visit. One minute she was playing with her only grandchild and the next minute she was gone. It always happens that way. The time she spends with us goes by so quickly and all of a sudden the babe and I are alone again. I must admit I felt extremely lonely as I waited for my husband to come home from work that night.

It's tough when you don't live in the same city as your loved ones. It never used to be a real issue for me, but now that I have a baby, I am really missing having family (especially my mom) close by. I'm glad they are willing to make the trek to DC and I'm grateful the babe and I have survived a few successful trips up North ourselves. It's just not the same as being able to drop by for Sunday brunch or to have a trusted babysitter available when you need one.

I've now realized the babe may one day feel the way I did as I watched the shuttle bus drive away. The mother-daughter bond is pretty intense. Much has been written about it, and for good reason. It is a complex yet simple love thick with layers of strong emotion.

My husband will frequently comment on how much the babe loves me. He will remind me that I am pretty much everything to her. On most days that will give me the warm fuzzies. I love being her sun and moon and stars. She is certainly these things to me.

Just as I am a new mother, my own mother is a new grandmother. My mom says she can't really describe how wonderful it is. Her time with the babe is precious. I guess that's why it breaks my heart when the babe and I have to say goodbye to her. There's just something special about having three generations of mother-daughter love together, if only for a short while.

I'm Just Not the Same Anymore

Last week my husband told me I smell. He said it in a nice way, like "honey, I know you've been working hard all day and it's hot outside, but you kinda smell." But really, there's no nice way of saying that. I could have laughed and agreed, but I took it personally and was a bit crappy about it for a while. I knew I needed to take a shower, but I just hadn't had the chance to.

I have been meaning to write about hygiene and looks for a long time. It's certainly not a big ticket item, but it's been on my mind all the same. There are days when I look at myself and wonder where the old me went. My idea of what is acceptable has certainly changed over the past 9 months. Many women return to the level of cleanliness and style they had before pregnancy, but at the rate I'm going, I wonder if I'll ever get back to what I used to be?

I used to shower and brush my teeth every morning and wash my hair every other day. I generally felt like a clean person. My current schedule is to brush my teeth by noon when I usually leave the house, wash my hair every 5 or so days (gross), and shower at night after the babe has gone to bed. It means I go to bed with that lovely fresh feeling, but by the early afternoon of the next day, that fresh feeling isn't so fresh anymore (especially with the summer we've just had). I know I could buck up and leave the babe in her pack n play if I need to shower in the day, but I really only do that if there is a dirty emergency (like having poo all over me, which has happened).

I used to think a bit about what I wore each day. I realize now I have worn sneakers and flip flops since the babe was born. I really don't go anywhere that would warrant anything different. Being a stay at home mom has led me to an existence of casual wear heaven. I have never been one who cares too much about these things, but part of me misses those days where I would wear a suit or put on heels (not big ones).

I also used to wear eye liner and mascara every day. It was just part of my face and I wouldn't think about leaving the house without it. It made me feel normal. Now I feel like an impostor when I put make up on. After 15 years of use, I don't recognize myself with it on anymore.

Perhaps when I eventually go back to the paid work force things will come rushing back to me, but for now, I guess I will just have to live with my smelly, casual self.