Sometimes I think that new ideas from my parenting class will never work in our home. This isn't the best attitude because how do you really know unless you try, right?
So the other day, when it was almost time to leave the park, I asked the babe if it would help if I set the alarm on my phone to go off when it was time to go to the car. I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I'd get as I only pulled this on her about 10 minutes before my desired departure time. She looked at me from mid-swing and said "Sure, Mama."
I fiddled around with the phone until I managed to set the alarm (it was my first time) and I let her choose the ringer sound (a Rooster crowing). I told her it was now set to go off in 10 minutes and when it went off, we were going to have to listen to it.
I highly doubted she would pay any attention when it went off and I was fully expecting a battle over leaving. When we were close to the 10 minutes I took the phone out of my pocket so the alarm would be heard loud and clear. And off it went. Cockadoodledoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked at the babe, smiled and asked her what that meant. She said "It's time to go, Mama."
Amazing.
When someone had suggested I set an alarm at the park during my parenting class this week, I had been laughing at the idea in my head. "The babe will never fall for that," I thought.
Well guess who's laughing now? Yep, still me. I am hoping that I have discovered a new magic way to end our regular battles over leaving the park. The alarm speaks for itself, and I am no longer the bad guy.
Showing posts with label spirited children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spirited children. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Spirit
Raising a "spirited child" is the hardest thing I have ever done. It challenges me in ways I never thought possible. This job has the power to thrill me one minute and make me want to hang my head down and cry another minute. Unless the TV is on, I am pretty much fully engaged in attempting to harness the spirit of this little person with multiple personalities.
Lately I have had a few winning moments....but those have come with much thought and effort on my part. All my new positive parenting techniques take so much energy and I am drained by the end of the day. To be more specific, many days I am drained by 9am. But when it works, I am so proud of myself. And I believe, even if only for a moment, that I am getting this thing down. Luckily I have been reassured there is a steep learning curve to this positive parenting stuff, but once you get the hang of it, it makes everything easier.
But then I will slip into my old ways. I can easily be pushed into acting impatient, short, angry and frazzled. I feel myself giving in to the pull of wanting to deal with things in my old ways. And when I give in it feels so good....for a second. Then things go downhill so fast and it is next to impossible to bring it back to a level ground. I imagine this could be similar to how it must feel to be a chronic substance abuser. We all have the best of intentions but can so easily be knocked off our high and mighty perch. The pull to give in is so strong, and the instant gratification is addictive.
I have tried a number of techniques to deal with outbursts and chaos this week. I have taken away the babe's breakfast when she kept eating like a dog and throwing her cereal all over the table and at me. I have taken the babe to the car without her shoes, jacket, hat, mitts or scarf when she refused to get ready for school. I have explained that we don't hit people after she has repeatedly belted me. And I have done these things without yelling and losing my cool. I am just hoping that the way I handle things helps her understand that bad behaviour is not an effective way to get attention. I understand that attention is attention, whether positive or negative.
I have asked my husband if he thinks all this positive parenting stuff is working. He says he thinks it is. But he wonders if we'll have the ability to keep our patience or if she will keep chipping away at us until we give in and return to the old ways for good.
It wasn't looking so good this morning, though. Within a minute of the babe waking us up she was demanding a loli pop in her lunch (after I hugged her and said good morning). I told her she'd have to wait until after school because it wasn't fair to the other kids. She started ranting and yelling at us. This is all literally within 2 minutes of waking up. We tried to handle it as best we could....but we were left feeling like we just have a rotten kid (a horrible thing to think about your own child). It really is just exhausting.
All I can say is that I'm not willing to lose this fight. We will find a way to use her power for good and not evil. I am not going to give up.
Lately I have had a few winning moments....but those have come with much thought and effort on my part. All my new positive parenting techniques take so much energy and I am drained by the end of the day. To be more specific, many days I am drained by 9am. But when it works, I am so proud of myself. And I believe, even if only for a moment, that I am getting this thing down. Luckily I have been reassured there is a steep learning curve to this positive parenting stuff, but once you get the hang of it, it makes everything easier.
But then I will slip into my old ways. I can easily be pushed into acting impatient, short, angry and frazzled. I feel myself giving in to the pull of wanting to deal with things in my old ways. And when I give in it feels so good....for a second. Then things go downhill so fast and it is next to impossible to bring it back to a level ground. I imagine this could be similar to how it must feel to be a chronic substance abuser. We all have the best of intentions but can so easily be knocked off our high and mighty perch. The pull to give in is so strong, and the instant gratification is addictive.
I have tried a number of techniques to deal with outbursts and chaos this week. I have taken away the babe's breakfast when she kept eating like a dog and throwing her cereal all over the table and at me. I have taken the babe to the car without her shoes, jacket, hat, mitts or scarf when she refused to get ready for school. I have explained that we don't hit people after she has repeatedly belted me. And I have done these things without yelling and losing my cool. I am just hoping that the way I handle things helps her understand that bad behaviour is not an effective way to get attention. I understand that attention is attention, whether positive or negative.
I have asked my husband if he thinks all this positive parenting stuff is working. He says he thinks it is. But he wonders if we'll have the ability to keep our patience or if she will keep chipping away at us until we give in and return to the old ways for good.
It wasn't looking so good this morning, though. Within a minute of the babe waking us up she was demanding a loli pop in her lunch (after I hugged her and said good morning). I told her she'd have to wait until after school because it wasn't fair to the other kids. She started ranting and yelling at us. This is all literally within 2 minutes of waking up. We tried to handle it as best we could....but we were left feeling like we just have a rotten kid (a horrible thing to think about your own child). It really is just exhausting.
All I can say is that I'm not willing to lose this fight. We will find a way to use her power for good and not evil. I am not going to give up.
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