Tuesday, March 15, 2011


As part of my positive parenting shift, I have been trying to let go of things I can't control, or that are not worth trying to control.  And what I'm learning is that it feel good to let go.  It feels liberating to loosen the reigns.  And I am now in a position where I am looking for things that I can stop worrying about.  One of the things I no longer stress about is my daughter's ridiculous and at times inappropriate fashion sense.

Part of growing up is learning how to dress yourself.  I will admit that I was, until recently, pretty controlling in this department with my daughter.  I felt I had a better sense of her daily needs and the most recent forecast information.  There's just so much about clothing choice that my young child could not grasp, so to keep her her warm (or cool) and dry, I would choose every item she put on.

Eventually we started fighting about what she was going to wear.  I still thought I should be making these decisions so I would allow myself to engage in these battles.  There's no better way to start off your morning than a screaming match with a preschooler over clothes.

I have now come to my senses.  The babe decides what to wear, puts it on, and usually struts into our room to show off her amazing abilities to choose her outfit and cloth herself.  It is awesome, and I don't care that she looks like a nut most of the time (and I also don't care about all the put together kids at her school because they probably aren't getting to learn how to be independent and to take care of themselves!).

Sadly I allowed myself to fall into my old ways this morning.  She came in with a tank top type dress (with leggings) that her Uncle and Aunt had bought her in Argentina.  It is a very stylin' little number, but it is still cool here in DC and I didn't want her runny nose or cough to get worse, so I casually mentioned/suggested that she may be more comfortable if she put a shirt on underneath the dress.

The babe did not like being told what to do and pretty much refused to change.  She grabbed a polar fleece and said she'd wear that to keep warm.  Trouble is I know she'd take it off the second she was at school and you couldn't even see the cute dress underneath the fleece (which incidentally her Nana had bought for her in Scotland).

I managed to rummage in her dresser and pull out a sparkly T-Shirt she LOVES which had been stuck at the back of the drawer for some time.  She immediately agreed and put it on under the dress.  Mission accomplished, I thought to myself.

When I dropped her off at her class she immediately walked in and pulled up her dress to show the first kid she saw her very cool T-Shirt.  I'll admit it bugged me that she was pulling up her dress as that's not really the kind of thing I want my daughter doing so confidently in public.

I shrugged and turned to leave when I saw a young girl in the hallway one classroom down looking through her cubby.  Only thing is, she was looking through her cubby naked from the waist down.  Hmmm.  Guess there's no point in worrying about the babe showing off her T-Shirt!

At the end of the day, I suppose I just have to keep it all in perspective.


Kim said...

That is really hilarious! :) I can already see the clothing battles in my own future :)

Mamabeing said...

Good for you! I've been practicing letting go lately myself--it does feel good to let your standards drop! ha ha. All winter Boodge has been in this "I want to be cold!!" thing when I try to put his coat on. I decided to just let him be cold...I bring a coat along for when he asks...and actually, he is usually fine. I guess that's how they learn about dressing for temperature. Maybe you guys could make it a game in the morning, check the weather forecast, and ask her if she thinks she can find clothes that will keep her warm/cool/dry, or whatever. Or...just keep letting it go...that's probably best! ha ha