Be. More. Patient.

If they sold patience, I would buy it in bulk.  I would give up all my treats to afford it.  I would do pretty much anything to have more patience.

The kids.....who I love so very much...test...my...patience to such a degree I sometimes think my head will explode.  Being a Mom means I have to keep a lot inside.  There is a lot of inappropriate language going on in my head, and although I try to keep my game face on, I do not always keep it under control.  I do not curse in front of my kids, but I do blow my lid every once in a while.

Our morning wasn't overly smooth today.  But the highlight was dropping the babe off at school (we were actually on time).  I am having BIG problems getting the babe into her class in the morning.  There are so many steps to get out the door in the winter.  And the school hallway where jackets and boots are stored is so crowded with little people I feel like I am going to lose it. 

As I am not allowed to take the stroller up to the second floor, I have to take the little guy upstairs with no way of controlling his movements.  I'm also supposed to be helping the babe with her jacket, mitts, hat, snow pants, boots, lunch bag, etc.  Add about 15 other similar kids into the mix, plus a 2 year old boy who will not stay still and doesn't listen when you are yelling at him to "GET BACK HERE," it really is enough to break me. 

I know it's only a 20 minute experience, but it is the worst 20 minutes.  I guess I'm just jealous of all the parents who breeze in with one kid and are out the door in less than 5 minutes.  I know I always look like a mess, and I mumble to myself, and I don't look like someone you'd want to be friends with, but I suppose if I just get through it, the winter will pass and we will get to a point when jackets and all that jazz are no longer needed.

Perhaps I need to get more in tune with my Canadian self.  Be nicer, calmer, more patient and able to handle the chaos of children in the winter.

Canadians Skate

As I've mentioned, we recently returned from a long trip to Canada.

Last Saturday I decided we needed to make more of an effort to expose our kids to "Canadian" things, and while Canada doesn't own ice skating, there sure is a lot of it going on up there.

So we packed up the kids after nap time and drove out to the rink.  I'm not sure what I expected, but it was really, really hard to take a 4 year old and 2 year old to a busy public skating rink.  There's the part where you have to stand in line and buy your ticket, the part where you stand in line and rent skates, the part where you squeeze onto a crowded bench and wrestle with children getting them into the skates, the part where you try and walk them to the rink and get on the actual ice without killing anyone, and the part where you try and skate around hunched over holding onto the full weight of a 30/34 pound child while trying not to collide into the boards or other skaters.

Guess how many times the little guy and I made it around?  3.  Guess how many times the babe and her Dad made it around?  2.  Guess who could barely move the next morning?  My Husband and I.  But guess who really dug skating? Both of my dual citizen children.  Check them out watching the Zamboni drive by.  Fascinating stuff, eh?

So will we do it again?  Yes.  Will it be soon?  Let me get back to you after my back and arms have healed.

The Art Show

December was a crazy busy month. As such, I am going to have to back track a bit.

On December 15th, the babe's class had their annual "art show."  The school displays the work the kids have been focusing on since September.  We get all dressed up and eat a pot luck dinner together.  It it quite the event.

I am posting a picture of the babe and her art piece, inspired by Paul Klee and Wassily Kandinsky.  I don't normally put pics of the babe up, but she looks so proud standing next to her art, and I can't resist sharing it with you.

As you can see (despite the fact that I cut off the top of it), the babe's painting is quite something.  While many of her female classmates speak of unicorns, princesses, and castles in the evening's program, my daughter apparently took her inspiration from a friend.

The piece is called "Eleanor Is Writing Her Numbers"
Acrylic on Canvas

"This painting is of Eleanor because she once had pink eye and needed to go to the doctor.  The brown ladder is for her to fix her roof and the blue ladder is for her tears to travel.  The table is for dinner and the blue circle is her computer.  The red lines make her a wolf.  Eleanor is in school and is looking at her new boot her mom bought her.  This painting can be sad and this painting can be happy.  My favorite part of being down in the art studio was doing the (collaborative) painting with my friends."

Now if you can deconstruct that for me, and let me know what it means exactly, I owe you.

I am proud of my little artist and while her style may have shifted from last year's piece, I can't wait to hang the babe's new work up on our new walls.

The New Photo

I have a new photo up.  It's called "The Big Hug."  It was taken a few weeks ago behind my folks place by a very dear family friend, Linda. 

I want to thank Linda for the shot and for encouraging me to get back to my writing.  Sometimes hearing some positive words makes a huge difference, and I may not have plotted my return if I hadn't been given a loving shove.

It is good to catch up, isn't it?

Decisions, Part 2

I left you hanging there, didn't I?

You want to know what my decision was?

I decided to stay home with the little guy next year.

You want to know how I decided?

I added it up.  I sat down, and crunched the numbers.  And it just doesn't make sense to send both kids to preschool in September.  I would be spending what I made to cover the cost of it. 

You want to know how else I decided?

I thought about how hard it would be to leave them from 8am to 6pm every day.  And I just can't do it.

I am by no means judging those who do, and am so grateful I have a choice, but I am not at a place right now where I can imagine leaving the kiddies for that many hours a day.

I am usually a great Mom and quite enjoy it when I have only 1 kid around (if I do say so myself).  In all honesty, I am not as effective or relaxed when I've got both with me, but I still think it is better for them and for me if we stick it out together for a while longer.

In September 2012, the babe will start kindergarten (public and free!), and at that point I think we'll all be better prepared and possibly ready to handle the challenges of living as part of a family with 2 working parents.

And who knows, perhaps I will get really good at this Mommy thing and won't be so torn anymore. Only time will tell.  But for now, I am breathing a huge sigh of relief that the little guy and I have more time together and that I will be able to continue seeing the babe's excited face as she runs towards me at pick up time every day after preschool. 

Cheers to the good life and to all our many blessings.

Belated Wishes

On December 23rd, my beloved husband turned 40.  I'm not going to go on about it, but I am eternally grateful to this man for giving me love, understanding, friendship, companionship, and 2 amazing little children.  I love you and wish you many, many more happy days.

Happy Birthday, dear husband.

On December 24th, my sweet little baby boy turned 2 years old.  I am quickly having to come to terms with the fact that he isn't a baby anymore.  I am thrilled to have the opportunity to hang out with him every day and watch him learn and grow.  I think you savour things a little more when you know it's your last child.  I am trying to slow down and enjoy the little things more with him.  Every development, every new word and every new day with him seems like such a gift. I can not imagine tiring of kissing his little feet and fat cheeks. 

Happy birthday, little guy.  Your Mama, Papa and big sister all adore you.

And to all the other December birthdays out there, hope you had a great one!

The Sweetest Sorry

"Sorry, Mama."

That's what the little guy said to me today right before his nap.  He had just thrown a toy across the room as I was getting him in his pajamas.  I responded to his energetic display of carelessness with a curt "No throwing." 

He looked at me, hugged me close and said "Sorry, Mama."

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is the first time my son has ever apologized to me.  He appears to have picked up the word "sorry" this week.  We told him to say sorry to his sister last night after he had been pushing her around.  He walked over to her, hugged her, and said "Sorry."

Perhaps it's that we have just returned from 16 days in Canada and Canadians say "sorry" more than Americans.  Perhaps it's that we have been encouraging apologies between the 2 siblings for some time now and the little guy has gotten used to his big sister frequently hugging him and saying sorry.

Whatever the explanation, I was extremely touched by this simple apology.  So touched I had to get myself in front of the computer and document it. 

Perhaps this was all I needed to come back to you, 24-7 Mommy.com.

Happy New Year.  I'm looking forward to continuing my Motherhood journey with you.

A Happy Birthday to My Girl

I know I haven't been writing, and I apologize, but you've heard my apologies before.  What can I say (a lot, actually).

I really just wanted to wish my beautiful girl a very happy 4th birthday.

I am sorry she was under the weather today with a bad cough and that I dragged her to the pediatrician downtown.  But I'm glad her Papa got to stay home with us for a breakfast birthday party.

Perhaps I will keep her home tomorrow so she can continue to rest and eat rice crispy squares with her brother and I.

I can't believe the babe is 4. 

Last night she and I looked at pictures from her first week of life.  My huge stomach before I left for the hospital.  Her screaming 9.6 ounce body on the nurses table as she was measured and inspected.  And her swollen little face after she was bundled up in a hat and swaddled in her blanket.  It seems like so long ago now.  But looking at the pictures reminds me that she is still my little one.  She is old, but she is so young. 

Happy birthday my sweet, amazing, beautiful, challenging, wicked smart, and inspiring girl.  You made me a Mother, and I am grateful for every day you have been a part of my life.  I love you. 

Decisions

Lately it seems like everyone is asking me if my son is going to go to preschool in September 2011.  Applications are due soon and the process of guaranteeing your spot is a serious one.

This has brought up a lot of issues for me.  Do I go back to work and put both kids in preschool all day, every day?  Do I put them in school until 3:30 pm and get a nanny to watch them until 6:30 pm every day?  Do I try and find a part time job that will give me more flexibility? 

OR

Do I just embrace what I am doing and keep my son home with me for at least another year?  Just because his older sister was so obviously ready for preschool at that age, it doesn't really mean he will be. 

I have been a Stay-at-Home Mom for 4 years this month and I've never really had a long term plan.  I've been hoping the right answer would just come to me.  It hasn't.

And I don't like that I am feeling pressure to make a decision.  I had my hair cut today (it had been a loooong time), and my hair stylist asked who was pressuring me.  Good question.  Maybe I'm the one putting all this pressure on myself.

Anyway, I don't usually read my husband's Wall Street Journal, but today there was an interesting set of articles on the state of Motherhood.  Check out Mother Madness by Erica Jong for an interesting perspective.  And then check out the author's daughter's perspective, Growing Up With Ma Jong.

Common sense would lead me to conclude that I really just need to do what I feel is right for my family and I.  Only problem is, I don't know what is right!

To be continued....

Late, Late, Late

I'll admit it.  We are late for school every morning.

Something happened when we moved to our new house.  I'm not sure what has changed in our schedule, but all of a sudden getting out the door in a timely manner is impossible.  As organized as I think I am the night before, something always comes up to throw us off.

I hate to be late.  And I am pretty hard core about keeping everything moving tickidy boom from the time I get out of bed.  I may be staying in bed a bit longer these days as it's colder and darker.  And I may be letting the babe sleep in a bit more because she has been coughing for weeks and weeks and I want her to get all the rest she can.  But really, it's starting to get to me.  Apparently I'm not the only one.

Parents from my daughter's school receive frequent emails from the administrators keeping us all up to date on classes, activities, bake sales, and the like.  On Friday we got a reminder about daylight savings time and timeliness.  It went something like this:

Just a reminder, please drop off your child at or before the 9:15 a.m. start time. If you drop them off after 9:15, one of the staff will take your child to the classroom. We are still in the 3-month acclamation time frame and we want to insure the least disruptions to the school day as possible. We also do not want there to be crowding by your child’s classroom for safety reasons.

My husband asked if I had read the email and proceeded to ask if it was directed at me specifically.  And yes, I admit that I have been a fairly consistent offender.  And yes, I am trying to change.  But no, I am not the only one in this boat.  And no, the email was not specifically directed at me (I can easily list off a number of other Mom offenders).

Somehow I'm going to figure this one out.  The fact that we moved 5 minutes further away should not make us 20 minutes later.  There are 15 minutes I have to account for and the fact that I have a bigger house isn't a good enough excuse. 

If you have any awesome morning routine secrets you'd like to share, feel free to do so!!