Holding a Grudge

I have been known to hold a grudge. It's not a good thing, and I don't intentionally do it, I'm just saying it can happen.

That's why it's so difficult having young kids. They can do things that hurt you physically as well as emotionally. The babe has told me many times over the past week and a half that she likes school more than being at home. And she likes hanging out with her friends better than being stuck at home with me. I get it. I like school better as well. But August is a month we must all spend together and I'm trying to make the best of it, despite the weather.

I did a rare thing today and lay down on the couch in front of both my kids. The little guy brought me a blanket and tried to tuck me in and give me kisses. The babe abandoned her play doh and ran over to get in on the action. Before I knew it they were both crawling all over and suffocating me. I was handling it all pretty well until the babe started pulling my hair. I asked her to stop, telling her it was hurting me, but she didn't stop. With about 60 pounds of weight on my upper body I wasn't able to pull her off effectively. In the end I got them off but not before I had lost some hair as well as my temper. I suppose kids like to push things past the limit because they don't understand where the limit is.

The babe acted as if nothing big had happened and continued on. I tried to talk to her and explain I didn't appreciate having my hair pulled out. As she walked back to her play doh in the dining room I realized that sometimes I need to let things go. My kids are little. And while I am trying to teach them how to be good people, it doesn't all click in overnight. I cannot hold a grudge against them because they said or did the wrong thing. It is my job to teach them to be good, honest, respectful, loving people who do not hold grudges.

So next time they are being ridiculous, I am going to try and check in with myself and remember, THEY ARE JUST LITTLE KIDS. I need to keep my very high expectations in check. Before I know it, they will be grown and I will miss their precious innocence and imperfections. Hopefully I'll still have the hair on my head.