Monday, January 31, 2011

Mirroring -Day 5 & 6

First off, thanks to my friends for all their lovely comments and book suggestions.  They are much appreciated (although I do wonder how you guys find the time to do all this reading!).

I was honestly too exhausted to write yesterday.  It was a long, overwhelming and challenging day where every member of my family was over tired.  I was not in a state to write about my amazing patience and positivity as I wasn't really exhibiting a whole lot of it.  I have to say that parents taking care of themselves definitely plays into their ability to be there for their kids.  And my late nights didn't help me feel up to the task of parenting.  The weekends always test my parenting skills, and when I'm wiped out fighting a never ending cold, I really should be more responsible and go to bed early.  Alas...

I did however, discover an interesting theme yesterday.  I had just been reading in my class text book about how children mirror the body language and emotion they see in adults, and if we as parents start acting all wiggy and stressed out, it's likely our kids will follow our lead and start acting the same way.  I can see the logic in that. 

In a TV induced moment of calm, I managed to sit down with last weeks' Economist for a few minutes. I came across an article discussing whether or not smoking in movies promotes smoking.  And guess what they were talking about?  Yep, you got it: mirroring body language.  As this concept popped up twice in a 12 hour period, I've decided it's worth paying some attention to.

As I continue working on all this better parenting stuff, I am going to try to pay more attention to my tone of voice, my body language, and my facial expressions.  I am not good at hiding things from people, so when I'm annoyed, it's pretty obvious.  Keeping in mind that I may get my own behavior thrown back in my face, I will try and keep an internal check on how I am sending messages to my kids.

Perhaps I should also take up poker playing....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No no... not a poker face.

I have had SO many patients (psychiatry) lately coming from "perfect homes" where emotions were not allowed. It is not good. They can't identify what they are feeling so they just ignore it and give out all kinds of mixed signals.

The ones from homes where everything is dealt with openly are doing much better.

Let them see you emotions and let them see you deal with them. "real life" is full of problems and that is OK.