Friday, January 21, 2011

Where Did All The Mamas Go?

I have been feeling kind of stranded lately. It may be just a January thing.  But if I had to put my finger on it, at this very minute, I am annoyed by the lack of Mamas out there.  Everywhere I go, every class I take, I am surrounded by a sea of Nannies.  Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with Nannies, it's just that I am not one.  I am a Mama.  And I feel like all the other Mamas went back to work, or something.

It's strange to feel excluded.  Like I'm not part of the club. And the fact that I don't speak Spanish certainly doesn't help.

It can be lonely being a Stay-at-Home-Mama (SAHM).  And as much as I try to set times up to see my real life SAHM friends, we are all very caught up in our children, their schedules, our errands, and our family lives in general. 

I debated about whether or not to share this next little story, and have decided it's too much of a story not to share.  Recently a neighbor/fellow SAHM, tried to set me up with another woman from down the street as our kids are about the same age.  We had an email exchange and got close to booking a play date.  Except the play date was to be with myself and this woman's Nanny.  I am not a snob, but I was slightly offended that this woman thought it would even be OK to suggest that.  I politely replied that I would be happy to plan something when the Mother's schedule freed up a bit.  I have not heard back.

I know I told you I made a decision about my SAHM status, but some days, some weeks, and some months are harder than others.  I know in my heart I am doing the right thing.  But perhaps there is more of a balance I can find for next year.  So if anyone knows of any local half day co-op preschools, feel free to share.  I think the little guy would benefit from some structured program, and I would benefit from a few hours off child care duty a few times a week.  It may, in fact, be a good step for the kids and I to take together.  


BlessedMomof2 said...

I know how you feel. I have been a SAHM for 7 years. For about 2 years we lived in Oklahoma & I had the best network of other SAHMs. Never a shortage of people to hang out with. Now ( for te last 2 yrs ) we are home in TN and my bff works full time and lives 40 min away. I don't have the nanny situation, but it's hard to find someone who doesn't work! I finally went back to work one day a week (I'm an RN) & send my 2 yr old to moms day out another day off the week purely for my sanity! Have you looked for a MOMS Club or MOPS group in your area? Just goggle either.

Good luck! I think it's worse in the winter because we feel so trapped!!

Kim said...

so interesting Christine! btw, have you read My Hollywood by Mona Simpson? It is about mama-nanny issues. I found it fascinating. Actually, the exact story you describe where a mom wants to the nanny to go on the playdate instead of her happens! (but from the nanny's perspective) - it is a good book!

Mamabeing said...

Oh, I know how you feel. It is very isolating being a SAHM sometimes, even though you are with people all day...they are not big people! When we lived in Vancouver I had the same thing--nannies everywhere--I felt like a weirdo. Now, here in our new town, there are tons of SAHM's, and lots of free, family centered activities. I love it. I guess when you live in an expensive city, you get the nannies. I'm glad you met some moms at the sports group.