Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Pride

I think I just let myself feel sorry for myself. It is pretty ridiculous, especially after all my musings about needing to be grateful. Today I managed to get the house ready for the cleaning lady (I broke down when the little guy was born and have her come in every 3 weeks), bring the babe into school, get some quick shopping done at Target (where the little guy managed to get his arm stuck in the shopping cart and create a bit of a dramatic and scary scene), and rush home to deal with the HVAC cleaning guys. Not bad for a Wednesday morning.

The pride wounding happened when I spoke to my husband on his lunch break. He casually mentioned that he had had lunch with one of his his best friends (who happens to work a few blocks from my husband). I also happen to be friends with my hubby's best friend's wife (it's hard not using names all the time!). Like us, they are new parents (although they are "newer" than us and have only one child). My friend is a successful journalist who sometimes gets to write about her experiences in the crazy world of motherhood. Not a bad gig, right?

So, my husband mentions that our friend just wrote about an expensive baby equipment purchase they were thinking of making (Budgeting With a Baby in US News and World Report), and that she had mentioned a store (Giggle) that they had been shopping around in (I just happened to be window shopping there last night). Apparently the founder of this lovely national chain has directly commented on our friend's piece.

It became unbelievably clear to me that although I am writing about my motherhood experiences, no CEOs will be leaving comments on my posts, let alone reading them. And I felt kind of like a loser. Like a career less, boring, errand running, domestic bliss coordinator.  My husband didn't understand why my mood shifted so quickly (nor did I for that matter).

So I had a little sulk (perhaps you could call it a pity party), heated up my husband's left over hockey pizza from last night (part of my health kick), and sat down to tell you about my feelings. And you know what?  I feel better now. Sometimes we just need to embrace what we have...and that is a lot in my case. And I'll have to forward this to my journalist friend so I don't feel like a crazy mommy blogger! Thanks for reading...and feel free to leave a comment! I always love to hear from you (even if you're not a CEO type).


Anonymous said...

You are soooo not a loser! I love to read your blog and do so pretty regularly. I often tell your stories to my friends and family and I promise to start commenting more regularly ...You often make me laugh out loud, sometimes make me cry. You ALWAYS make me feel like it is okay to feel some of the crazy things I feel. Thank you.


Gimmiegot said...

Even though you think this might convince someone to not have a child, I love your stories and I too often tell other new or recent parents. It helps them a lot to know that they aren't alone. Keep it up. A CEO is no means a measure of your success but I believe there are probably some in your future.

Mamabeing said...

I have those feelings too sometimes...but you know and I know you are not a loser, you are working your butt off every day to be the best mom you can be, and one day you'll be back in your career full swing and looking back on these years, glad you chose to stay home with your kids. I hope! Cause that's what I tell myself....ha ha!